BILLS/BEARS Commentary

Finally, I got hooked up with something.  Chad can take the week off if he likes.  This one is from Coz.

Bears v. Bills

Pregame:

I wake up and hear Michael Irvin telling Coach Ditka that the Cowboys are the best team in the NFC, or at least they will be come playoff time, and that T.O is going to do to the Bears what Steve Smith did to us.  I think Ditka is going to a stroke if has to keep defending the Bears against such heinous remarks that I hear every week on NFL Countdown.  This is followed by my friend Nick calling me and telling me the Bears secondary is going to get exposed today, but we're going to win 21-17.  Nick is usually a total Bears optimist, and frequently accuses me of being a Bears pessimist.  My response is that the Bills are starting a rookie at right Guard and that will allow Tommie Harris to get 10.5 sacks today.  I go on to say, I can only name one Bills receiver, and that's because I went to a Big Ten school and remember Lee Evans getting drafted by the Bills.  My prediction is 34-0.

Gametime

As I'm mentioning to my roommate that Moorman is really fast, the Bills try a fake punt.  Things like that just aren't smart against the Bears, especially when you consider the fact that our punt return team, made up of mostly 2nd string defensive players, is probably better at defense than 70% of other teams starting defensive players.  Moorman drops the ball and the Bears recover.  That play was doomed from the start.

Uh Oh.  Rex is getting happy feet again.  He got a man in his face and decided to lob it up to the right hash mark.  Look, Rex, I'm all for spontaneity, but now probably isn't the best time for a friendly game of 500.  Gould nails another field goal.  I should have been a kicker.

Watching the Bears play defense is a joke to me now.  I know the other team has no chance of scoring more than 10 points and I'm just watching to see how many sacks Tommie Harris has, and whether or not we pitch a shutout.  In my mind, the Bears giving up a first down is like the Bears getting scored on.

CBS game break.  They cut to a Bruce Gradkowski touchdown pass.  I make the "Haha Bruce Gradkowksi"  comment that I'm sure everyone else watching made.  I almost wish our QB's name was Bruce Gradkowski.  Is that really his name?  Because I have some inside info that his first Dog's name was Bruce and the street he grew up on was Gradkowski Ave.  

Robbie Gould hits another field goal.  What a great year to be a Bears Fan.  Watching our kicker is even exciting.  

Alex Brown racks up a sack on third and long.  Phil Simms chimes in with this beauty "When you get to third and more than 5 against this Bears defense, it just becomes impossible to convert."  

"Grossman to Bernard Berrian"  I'm not a huge Grossman fan, but I'm starting to love the sound of that.  My friend asked me last week how I feel about Rex being one of the best QBs in the league, I say,  "No, it's not Grossman.  Bernard Berrian is just making things really easy for him."

Fridays has fried Asapargus and fried Macaroni and Cheese balls as appetizers now.  How do they come up with things like that?  Did the owner of Fridays have a childhood battle with anorexia or something?

Tommie Harris fights off a double team and drills Losman as he delivers a strike to Lance Briggs.  A thought occurs: If we had Gradkowski at QB, we would have a Lance and a Bruce on the same team.  Somebody call up Tampa, we can make this happen.

Cedric Benson gets his first career touchdown.  Jaruon seemed like a nice enough guy, so I'm pretty happy that he said he doesn't mind when opposing teams run on him, we don't mind running all over the Bills either.  Benson and Jones are having great games.

After our kick off team, lead by Ayanbadejo, stuffs another return, and Mark Anderson makes the Bills All Pro tackle look foolish, I'd like to reiterate the fact that our special teams  and 2nd stringers could field a defense that would rank in Top Ten in the league.  Think about it.  Tank Johnson, Aaron Boone, Israel Idonije, and Mark Anderson on the D Line.  Ayanbadejo, Rod Wilson, and Leon Joe at the LB spots.  And then Ricky Manning Chiris Harris, Todd Johnson, and Dante Wesley in the secondary.  Can our 2nd stringers go fill in for the Niners, Giants, or Lions during our bye week?  Maybe we can have Monday Morning JV games or something.

Berrian is wide open again and has another 40+ yard play.  Bring back Deion and let him try to cover Bernard Berrian.  I think that might be the only way to stop him.  

I'd have a much easier time loving Grossman if people would stop comparing him to Brett Farve.  People in Chicago should know how annoying it is to have a young, good player compared to one of the best players ever.  Go tell someone in Chicago that Lebron is the next Jordan, that's the way most people feel about Grossman being compared to Brett Farve.  Grossman, is good, and getting better every week, but I think everyone needs to do him a favor and stop with the Favra-esque comparisons.

Ricky Manning just picked one off.  I'm willing to bet that our non-starters have more INTs and Sacks than at least 5 other teams.  I'll do some research after the game.

Phil Simms just said how Buffalo's motto on Defense is to bend and not break, noting that Grossman just completed three passes and we didn't get a first down, saying how effective the "Bend and Don't break defense" of the Bills is.  Amid a string of expletives, I remind Phil Simms that Bears have scored 27 points in the first half.  Bend and don't break?  No Thanks, I'll stick to Lovie's Tampa 2.

Halftime:

Colts are losing 10-0 or if you're a betting man, they're losing 28-0.  I wonder if anyone has looked at how well a team has done against the spread, and used that to predict success in the playoffs.  I think that might be a pretty decent way of finding out which teams play better or worse than they are expected too.  Nick calls me right before halftime to make amends for saying the Bills were going give us a hard time today.  If we're playing by Price is Right rules, my 34-0 prediction looks in Jeopardy because the Bears might put up 40+ today.

Start of 3rd Quarter

I think Rex Grossman leads the league in number of dropped passes by opposing defenses.  That's not necessarily a bad thing.  I remember Dan Marino used to throw the ball so hard that defenders just weren't able to catch it, even when it was thrown between their numbers.  Wait, a minute, did I just compare Rex Grossman to Dan Marino?  Shame on me.  Side note, during a tribute to T.O's Eagles years one of his sound bites was "I love me...some me."  I'm gonna have to start using that.

I haven't seen a ton of J.P Losman, but I never thought he was a bad as everyone said he was.  Losman just dumped the ball off to Alex Brown on the Bears 20.  I'd like to apologize to anyone who I've ever tried to convince that Losman didn't deserve the criticism he got.  He's not very good.  The Bears are dominating so impressively today, that Jim Nantz has openly started rooting for the Bears.  Alex Brown tripped himself up on the INT return, and Nantz yelled "Get up Alex."  Bears Bird Flu...Catch it.

Bernard Berrian just hauled in another 40+ yarder, but his second foot landed out of Bounds.  Opposing DBs need to just start playing 15 yards off the ball, and when the ball is snapped, just turn and start running for the end zone.  Don't worry, Bernard will be there soon.  

It's 30-0.  That's two safeties and my 34-0 guess will be right on.  Normally I'd say I don't have a chance, but Tommie Harris doesn't have a sack yet, so I'm not really out of it yet.  My roommate just asked what the over/under is on today's game.  I find out it's 37.  How many teams have covered the over while pitching a shutout?  

Let's take a look around the NFC North.  The Packers are losing 14-13 late in the 3rd quarter.  Lions are beating the Vikings 17-3 late in the 3rd as well.  Hmm, if these scores hold up the Packers would drop to 1-4, the Lions get to 1-4, and the Vikings drop to 2-3.  The Bears are going to be 5-0, with home games against the Packers and Vikings, and a trip to Ford Field.  If anyone out there is planning on getting engaged around Christmas time, don't do it.  Take that 2 months salary and put it all on the Bears to win the division.  Then you can take that extra money and buy here a bigger ring, or buy the same ring and use the extra money to fund your bachelor party.  The Bears can officially start thinking about playing for Home field advantage.

Griese has come in the Game.  I was on the Griese side of the Mason Dixon line in preseason.  It makes it a lot easier on me when Griese comes in and plays well, I mean the guy has the highest single season QB rating in Broncos history, there was a reason to be clamoring for him to start.  I have accepted the fact that Grossman is a good QB, but really who could blame me?  At the start of his 4th season, he was trailing Cade McNown by about 10 touchdowns.  Why should have I believed in him?  Also, 2 certain Cub pitchers have exhausted my tolerance for waiting for injury prone players to start producing.

Wow, even our 3rd string running back hits hard.  Bears just recovered a fumble on a kick off return.  Adrian Peterson caused it, Idonaije recovered it.  I'm adding forced fumbles and fumbles recovered to stats that I bet our Special Teams/2nd stringers rank better in then some NFL teams.  

My roommate's girlfriend (Beware! She is a Colts fan) tells me for the 5th time in 5 weeks that the Bears have an easy schedule.  I understand the Bears have a soft schedule, but it's not like we're squeaking out wins.  We're bludgeoning teams.  It shouldn't be my fault that we're a cheetah running in a paraplegic race.  

Bears up 40-0 after Benson's 2nd touchdown.  The good news is that the Bears just covered the over, with no help from the Bills and J.P Losman.  The bad news is that my final score prediction is now wrong.  Maybe the Bears will get 6 points taken off for Kyle Orton's facial hair.

Mark Anderson just got a sack and forced a fumble.  Seriously, when is the Bears first JV game?  I'm betting the house.

Benson just fumbled and put the Bears shutout in Jeopardy.  The Crowd responds to the start of the next drive like this is a goal line stand in the waning minutes of Superbowl XLI.  Not only is everyone still in the Stadium in the final minutes of a 40-0 blowout, but Soldier Field is louder right now than Ford Field has ever been.  The only real suspense in home Bear games is whether or not we are going to hold the opponents scoreless.  

Damn you Lee Evans.  The Bears defense just gave up a touchdown.  I think I'm gonna puke.  It feels like we just lost this game.  

Post Game

Cedric Benson had a good game, up until the point where he fumbled and gave the Bills the field position they needed to score.  Man, the Bears D is gonna pummel Benson in practice this week.  

Bears 2nd stringers have 3 INTs 7.5 sacks, and 3 forced fumbles.  I don't think the stats have been updated yet for other teams, but the 3 INTs  is as good or better than 17  teams.  The 7.5 sacks is better than 11 other teams.  The 3 Forced Fumbles is as good or better than 17 teams.  

Back to the argument that the Bears aren't as good as we look because we have an easy schedule.  We have outscored our opponents 156-36 this season.  Take into account the spread, which supposedly makes the teams even, and we have outscored our opponents156-66.  We haven't just killed other teams, we've obliterated what the "experts' have expected us to do.  

After the Game I have a conversation with my brother concerning Bernard Berrian.  He says that it's not like teams are mixing up their coverage and allowing him to get deep, and it's not that Berrian is even a very good route runner, he just runs straight down the side line and for some reason no one can keep up with him.  

The Vikings ended up coming back and beating the Lions.  No big deal, I think this could be the year the Bears tell Bob Griese  and Company to shove their bottles of Champaign up their collective asses.

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