Good morning Mr. Cutler; here are the keys to the city. I thought it would be appropriate to give the Bears' new QB a heads up as to what to expect here in Chicago. I've got a few, I'm sure the loyal here have more.
1) As of today you are the King of Chicago. Enjoy! For a few months you are the most famous and beloved person in all of Chicago. Obama Who? Play your cards right and you could be eating for free for at least a good month. This town will revere you, but only for so long.
2) You don't have much time. Chicago's first game is a primetime bout with Green Bay. You want to keep on the good side? You best play your tail off in that one.
3) You might have the urge to grow some facial hair. You know, a new look for a new town. Don't. Unless you are going with some really good chops or some nice handlebars, you predecessor still owns that one. You probably can't beat the Neckbeard, so don't make use compare.
4) We are willing to forgive the whole Denver whining thing; hey we don't want to be in Denver either, but it stops at the door to Halas Hall. Just because we allowed Jimmy Mac to get away with glamour doesn't mean you can. The Bears have defined leaders. Get your butt in to town and work hard. You win Urlacher's and Kruetz's respect, you'll be gold, but they aren't going to be impressed with you on numbers alone.
5) Millions of Bears fans are going to be dipping into their wallets (me included) to buy our first Bears offensive jersey that doesn't belong to Payton or Sayers. Don't make us regret that.
6) Want to really win us over? Come to camp with a fresh tattoo of Mike Dikta on your arm.
7) Listen, we know we don't have the best group of receivers. Don't complain. Hester is getting better. You've got your old teammate Earl Bennett back. Davis and Lloyd? Don't worry; we don't really like them either. But you can always throw to Forte, Olsen and Clark. Angelo is in the giving mood and since we no longer have a first maybe he takes a look at Marvin Harrison or Torry Holt to bring a little experience and respectability to the group. We also still have a second. There are a few guys who could be good still available. Regardless of who is on the crew, defend them and back them up. We stuck with Grossman forever based on how he handled himself. Learn a lesson.
8) I know its tempting to think about being a pass happy team, but we are still a run first team. Face it, it is just who we are. That doesn't mean we won't let you unleash the cannon and try to catch Hester in flight a few times a game, but you probably won't see many 40 pass games.
9) The pizza is great, but you already know that.
10) We are sorry about Ron Turner. We don't understand the McKie full back dive either.
BTW, can we call you concrete cyanide? I'd hate for that one to die.