Who Would Win?

Lance Briggs vs. Jeff Garcia?

Briggs would just crash his sports car into him and then pose for a photo with two girls from Hawaii. No contest.

Haight, you never cease to provide a good laugh.
Mike Mc Vs Kimbo? They both suck.
Golic vs. Goose? Push again
WCG, ChiFan, and me? WCG… he has more powers than we do.
Haight vs 3ndOut? You have won the battle of time…

Throw a bottle of Oxy’s in the middle and see who comes out alive.

I’d like to see Kreutz vs Pat Williams as well, since that tool was running his mouth about Olin. Hey Pat, you might want to ask Fred Miller how that worked out, and that was his own teammate.
And as far as Cutler vs Ryan, Cutler all the way. He sneaks in one of his needles and shoots Ryan full of insulin. Then he beats him to death with Rashied Davis’s hands of stone. And then Mike Vick feeds his remains to his dogs as payback for taking his job.

I bow to your “celebrity death match” genius. Are you the incarnation of Mills Lane? Anyways, my score card.

Lovie Smith vs. Brad Childress:
Lovie Smith tries to talk sense to everyone for 15 minutes before the fight saying: “he doesn’t believe in fighting, Childress is a friend” After all that nonsense is over, Lovie wins easy.

Jay Cutler vs. Matt Ryan?
This one seems easy to me. Even before the trade, to the true navy and orange, I would have put Cutler on top here.

Jerry Angelo vs. Bill Polian?
Hmmm, tough one. The GM who brought Jay Cutler to Chicago vs. the President that took some media shit for drafting Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf. I say edge Jerry Angelo. Disclaimer: Before the Cutler trade and Pace signing, I would have probably said Polian.

Lance Briggs vs. Jeff Garcia?
Gotta say Lance Briggs. Bet the fight is better than advertised though, Garcia is scrappy.

Tommie Harris vs. Jeff Saturday?
Tommy Harris, even with one knee.

Robie Gould vs. Jason Hanson?
Gould… This needs to be a kick boxing match.

Rich Eisen vs. Tony Kornheiser?
The fight might go for three hours, but Rich Eisen takes it on the fact that his wife is too hot and feisty for him to lose.

Mike Golic vs. Tony Siragusa?
Great heavy weight bout. I’m putting my money on Golic, because I think Siragusa doesn’t really take care of himself in retirement. Probably would have gone the other way ten years ago.

Maximus vs. Achilles?
To close to call.

Mike McCaskey vs. Kimbo Slice?
The fight starts two hours late as Mike tries to run away. For once not sure you can blame him. Virginia forces him into the ring though and the match is over in a eye blinking 2.5 seconds. Kimbo takes it.

Virginia McCaskey vs.Nancy Reagan?
lol lol lol
Not sure if either of these women could be defeated by natural means. Immovable object meets unstopable force and all that. Maybe this one could go: Virginia and Nancy vs. The Emperor from Return of the Jedi.

Alonzo Spellman vs. Bob Sapp?
The Beast is certainly one big dude, but I don’t think he has enough gas in his tank to take Spellman. Throw in the chance of a bi-polar rage and Bob Sapp might not even survive.

And for the main event, a last man standing cage match:

WCG vs. GeauxBears vs. ChiFan?
Could be a blockbuster

If I could suggest another match?
Suzy Shuster (Eisen’s wife) vs. Carmella DeCesare (Jeff Garcia’s wife) Throw in some lingerie and baby oil and I anticipate a pay-per-view blockbuster.

Great idea for a post Haight. It was a nice laugh in the morning. :]

i love eisen but Tony is the flippin man!

And just like that, MNF becomes much more enjoyable.

a Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich?

How about Staley vs. Benny the Bull?

First to finish a fifth and run off the road wins

Chicago Bears v. new york knicks

obviously the Bears… but hate minnow loves john starks and the knicks. sure he talks about bleeding blue and orange and gets all of you riled up… little do you know he is referring to Knickerbocker blue and orange and not that of our beloved Chicago Bears.