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Around SBN: Can Tebow Say No To Anything?

NightLink: Grossman, Orton, Forte

As we head into the weekend, there is not much going on in the world of the Chicago Bears, other than some news about Matt Forte. 

The Bears are being extra cautious with running back Matt Forte and plan to sit him through at least the next three organized team activities, according to an NFL source. There's a good chance Forte won't participate in any of next week's four sessions, although he will be re-evaluated on Monday. The Bears conclude OTAs on June 18.

All else is quiet, so I decided to leave you with a couple of humerous reads from the Pre-Cutler Era.  Hope you enjoy them...

Star-divide

From The Onion:

Tearful Rex Grossman:  I was Intercepted A Lot As A Child

CHICAGO—Bears quarterback Rex Grossman, responding to being benched following his three-interception performance in a loss to the Dallas Cowboys, had to stop speaking in order to wrestle with his emotions at a post-game press conference Tuesday in which he tearfully admitted to reporters that as a child his friends and family would abuse him mercilessly on the football field by repeatedly picking off all of his throws. "I grew up terrified of what my mother or father would say if I took a sack, so I'd just throw the ball up for grabs as hard as I could," said Grossman, recalling a post-Thanksgiving-dinner outing in which his parents intercepted every pass meant for his friends and vice versa. "My first memory is playing touch football in my backyard and just wishing that the game would end, but they just seemed to go on forever. I'd just close my eyes and throw the ball and pray it would reach the right person, but my dad, uncle, creepy older cousin, or best friend always seemed to take advantage of my poor throws." A sobbing Grossman also confessed that his childhood pet Rocky, an elderly cocker spaniel, would often come up from behind him while he was holding the ball and nuzzle it with such force that he would fumble.

And From Sportssatire.com:

Bears Choose To Play Without A Quarterback This Season

The Chicago Bears have made an unprecedented move today. They have decided to go into the NFL season with no starting quarterback. With nobody emerging as a candidate for the starting job, coach Lovie Smith has decided on nobody.

"We just do not have anyone worthy of putting under center at this time. If I had to make a decision I would simply quit because there is nobody in this camp that can lead this team," said Smith at a news conference announcing his decision.

Smith indicated that the Bears would just use direct snaps to the runningbacks and use all other ten players on the field as blockers. He also said that he would consider punting on first and second down if necessary.

"Yeah, that's definitely an option," said Smith when asked if he would punt early in his team's possessions. "I think you have to consider that. put your defense on the field and hope for the best," he said.

Kyle Orton, who was considered to be the front runner for the starting job has decided to make himself into the punter. He has secretly told friends on the team that he would take the snap when he was supposed to punt and throw passes, even if it meant upsetting his coach.

0 recs  |  Comment 17 comments

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A couple of years ago .....

My wife and I were at the Great Lakes Mideval Faire in Northwest Ohio and I could have sworn that I saw Rex Grossman and his wife. My wife and I, both Chicago Bears Fans, thought that the man in question looked exactly like Grossman. Jokingly I told her that to find out, I was going to walk past him and brush against him. If he dropped his Sandwich from the slight impact, than I knew for sure that it was Grossman. In the end, I lost sight of him and never found out if it was Sexy Rexy or not.

by sheepskinz1 on Jun 5, 2009 7:44 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

the second one is no longer funny

as the wildcat has now emerged

by tempchad on Jun 5, 2009 8:24 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

just a thought

the bears have several player that are good in space and really fast (hester, wolfe, kevin jones (when he was healthy in detroit), and allegedly knox. and seeing as the dolphins were able to be successful with the wildcat with chad pennington, notorious for not being able to throw the ball down the field (sound farmiliar). Do you think if we hadnt pulled the trigger on cutler and kept orton, could we be successful running some sort of wildcat? personally I think its too gimmicky, but what do you think?

"snuffalufagus fucks my shit up"

by leopoldjones on Jun 6, 2009 12:28 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Is gimmicky a word?

Yes, the “wildcat” is far too much gadgetry.

"The cup is not half empty and neither is the cup half full. The cup's just too damn big." -George Carlton

by Just Dave on Jun 6, 2009 10:27 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

I;m sure

mike martz thinks both are words, along with strategery

"snuffalufagus fucks my shit up"

by leopoldjones on Jun 7, 2009 12:25 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ten blockers.....hmmmmm....

"Like a young contortionist, for the first time coming into his own...." -Bert Sugar

by Just Dave on Jun 5, 2009 10:00 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Maybe...

They, too, we’re being cautious with Earl Bennett and that is why he didn’t participate all of last year.

by Blog Down, Chicago Bears on Jun 5, 2009 10:27 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

I can outrun a mule deer.

by Gonzo2 on Jun 6, 2009 2:15 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Hmmm...

I was gonna come up with something witty and humorous, but after seeing that you are a Vikings fan I decided that would be a complete waste of time.

"The phone's for you, I think it's the Devil."

by Acreman20 on Jun 6, 2009 3:13 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

things must be slow in norseland, eh???

either that or they kicked you out cuz your a F’in moron!!! how are you gonna’ rip on anybody’s post when the only thing that you have contributed to this site is your “stupid” sign… that was a double entendre.. go look it up while your mommy is rubbing your tummy, jack @$$!!!

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.

by windycity72 on Jun 6, 2009 4:24 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Awww, it’s probably some 12-year-old kid who’s figured out how to post a picture and is all excited ’cos he can now play with the big boys for the first time.

Or thinks he can, anyway.

"They tried to take out the quarterback, and if they managed that, they tried to take out the backup." - Bears SB20 TE Emery Moorehead, on the mentality of *that* defense

by Spongie on Jun 6, 2009 11:23 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

are you serious

the post was about there not being alot going on right now, you must not have read that part, probably to busy stealing the pic from another thread. I guess we can take solace in the fact that percy harvin is gonna be a huge bust, and your vikings will not make the playoffs leading to brad childress getting fired and you guys having to start form square one which will set AP back a couple of years, the years he is in his prime. looks like a bad couple of years for you guys.

"snuffalufagus fucks my shit up"

by leopoldjones on Jun 6, 2009 5:36 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Relax folks!

It was retaliatory. Yes the pic was stolen from another thread, in fact, one of your site admins showed some real class and posted it on a random fanshot over at the Daily Norsemen.

Take all of the negative comments above and throw them at Geauxbear. (sp?)

by Miidwest on Jun 6, 2009 3:27 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

you

are a memeber of the whiniest god damn blog on the internet.

by mike b on Jun 6, 2009 5:12 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

geauxbears point was valid

that poll was moronic, and all you guys voted for the least likely outcome it was a stupid thread.

"snuffalufagus fucks my shit up"

by leopoldjones on Jun 6, 2009 5:17 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

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