Because nobody can say that their final 53 is really anything but speculation. Nevertheless, it is the time of year for  ridiculous amounts of speculation, so without further Rideau, here is the current roster, with the final 53.

Quarterbacks:  Jay Cutler, Caleb Hanie, Brett Basanez

Cutler and Hanie. Basanez hasn't done nearly enough to justify a roster spot. And if something bad does happen (to Hanie, of course), then I', sure we can get someone just as good, if not better, than Basanez. I'm sure a McCown will be available later in the season, even though "McCown" is close enough to "McNown" for some Bears fans to suffer heart attacks.

Running Backs:  Matt Forte, Kevin Jones, Garrett Wolfe, Adrian Peterson

I hope all four will make it, but that may be wishful thinking. Peterson continues to have "special teams value", and he's proven to be a decent contingency plan if injuries or Cedric Bensons strike. If Wolfe gets cut, I may cry. Jones looks better than last year, but not a whole lot. The only "lock" is Matt, but you alredy knew that.

Fullbacks:   McKie, Jason Davis, Will Tau'ufo'ou

I wouldn't mind seeing Jason Davis make it, and Tau has looked alright from what I've seen, but keeping two fullbacks is only a little crazy, let alone three.

Wide Revievers (and Rashied):   Earl Bennett, Devin Hester, Devin Aromashodu, Rashied Davis, Rideau, Juaquin Iglesias, Johnny Knox, Eric Peterman

Earl is in. He and Cutler have great chemisty and he's the closest to a real reciever we have. Aroma (a much better nickname than "D.A.", seems to be in, and I'd be amazed if Knox didn't make it. He's looked way to fast to cut or practice squad in favor of Brandon Rideau's average production. Iglesias could go, but he hasn't done anything truly wrong so far, and teams tend to like to give early-ish picks a shot. Peterman is all but gone.

Tight Ends:   Greg Olsen, Desmond Clark, Kellen Davis, Michael Gaines

The more I think about it, the more I can't make a decision over who to cut, Gaines or Rashied. So I decided both should stay. Which of course means they will in real life. Still, Kellen Davis looks a lot better than last year, and Gaines is basically an H-back. He's a usable reciever, a good blocker and a bad mothashutyourmouth! Those sort of guys are worth Garrett Wolfe's weight in gold. Plus, he's a former Carolina Panther, and we all know about 10 of those make the roster every year.

Offensive Tackles:   Orlando Pace, Chris Williams, Kevin Shaffer, Lance Louis, Cody Balogh

Pace, Williams and Shaffer are locks. Louis would seem to be a better bet to make it than Balogh, due to his supposed "versatility". However, due to that versatility, Louis seems the more likely candidate to be snatched up by another team on the practice squad. Since I have Gaines making it, Louis needs to go.

Offensive Guards:   Frank Omiyale, Roberto Garza, Dan Beunning, Johan Asiata

Omi-Wan Kenobi is in. So is Garza. That much is clear. I think Beunning will make it, he seems to be a good backup. That leaves Asiata, who has hung around a lot longer than I thought. Maybe we can put him on the practice squad, but I doubt it.

Centers:   Olin Kreutz, Josh Beekman, Donovan Raiola

The only question here is when Raiola will get cut. Unless he's a secret ninja, or can long snap better than Mannelly, he's gone.

Defensive Ends:   Ogunleye, Alex Brown, Mark Anderson, Joe Clermond, Henry Melton, Ervin Baldwin

Adewale Ogunleye is here. So is Alex "I do everything but actually get sacks" Brown. Anderson is staying. That leaves three guys for what should be one spot. Melton seems to be the best out of the three (I say that having not ever remember seeing Baldwin play), so that's that. Idonije and Gilbert can both play DE as well.

Defensive Tackles:    Tommie Harris, Anthony Adams, Marcus Harrison, Israel Idonije, Jarron Gilbert, Matt Toeaina

Tommie, Anthony and Israel are in. Marcus Harrison should be, and to get rid of Gilbert after drafting him with the first pick we had would be positively Raider-like. Toeaina has actually impressed me every time I've seen him, so I wouldn't mind him staying around. But 53 is 53, not 54, so he's got to go. Kneel before the awesome power of 53! 53 is infinite!

Linebackers:   Brian Urlacher, Lance Briggs, Pisa, Nick Roach, Jamar Williams, Hunter Hillenmeyer, Marcus Freeman, Darrel McClover, Kevin Malast, Mike Rivera

Here's where we trim up a little lot. The three startes are in, as are Jamar and Roach. Darrell McClover is...Darrel McClover, but I don't think he gets in over Hunter or Marcus Freeman, who I've liked so far. Malast and Rivera are warm bodies at best, though I suppose one or both could be a part of the majesty that is the Bears Practice Squad. That leaves Hunter and Freeman. It's honestly a toss-up. I'll say Freeman goes, Hunter stays, but it's subject to change.

Cornerbacks:   Charles Tillman, Zack Bowman, Nathan Vasher, Trumaine McBride, Corey Graham, Rod Hood, D.J. Moore, Rudy Burgess, Marcus Hamilton, Woodny Turrene

Everyone out of the first five stays, with the obvious exception of Trumaine McTackleMiss. Corey Graham makes it, even if he doesn't have a real spot. I like D.J. Moore, at least more than Burgess, Hamilton and Woodny Turrene (how exactly is his name pronounced?) Obviously, Chris McAllister would complicate simplify things, enough that maybe "The Interceptor" can go Intercept someone's unemployment check.

Safties:   Kevin Payne, Al Afalava, Danieal Manning, Josh Bullocks, Craig Steltz, Dahna Deleston

Kevin is in. That is a MasterLock. Al "The Carpet is" Afalava should actually be a starter at this point. Manning, despite being a poor starter, is a decent nickelback, and a Packer-destroying badass of a return man. Dahna Deleston, despite his cool name, is probably gone. That leaves Bullocks and Steltz. If we could somehow steal Al Davis' zombie cloning supermachine (the one he's kept himself alive with for the last few millenia), we could splice Steltz's brain into Bullocks' body, but barring that, Stelts is too slow and Josh Bullocks is too...Josh Bullocks. I'd go with Steltz, which means that Lovie will go with Bullocks.

Other:    Robbie Gould, Brad Maynard, Patrick Mannelly, Richmond McGee

Pretty straightforward. McGee goes, the best special teams in the NFL stays.

Well, there it is. You may not think it's perfect, but I do, and I'm the one who wrote it so go cry into your Cade McNown/Cedric Benson/David Terrell jerseys.