Dang! I Miss Another One and We Lose! Best of Your In Game Thread....

"How exactly did you want this call to go again?"

Well.  Hmmmm...  Yes, we lost.  I'm sorry but I was in Florida visiting an old friend and missed the festivities travesty that was the Bears on Sunday.  We must have been terrible based on the comments I have read both here and in the local media.  I have the feeling that many won't read this and just jump to the comments to see who made it, yet as a contributing writer I want to take a minute to make a plea to an audience that I have come to admire and enjoy.  Here's my soapbox speech:  Quit being a bunch of jag-offs that respond to trolls.  As I read through this thread I was appalled at how many bans were issued or threatened to be issued for trolls who admittedly deserved it, yet shouldn't come to expect it from the quality of posters we have at this site.  Many regulars on this site dropped their standards and engaged in petty diatribe and this thread was one of the hardest I have ever had to dig through for the gems I am used to.  But enough of my diatribe, you people were great as always (my sarcasm meter eventually sploded) and there were some very funny things in this week's contributions so join me after the jump for your "best of the in game thread"...

 

We open with this.  I wish I could follow it up with some kind of Hint from Helouise.....

Arbusto:  cheetos make typing hard.

 

Nice reference

bsmechanic:  Yeah, but the snow in Chicago is made from the vapors of Polish sausage. Ditka. Bears……

 

Here was the best description for someone who couldn’t actually watch the game...

Bears-Cubs Bulls:  omg that field looks rough

 

Allie:  how can you tell?

 

And later in reference to the field....

Allie:  show the lines. not much else you can do. sisphysis had an easier job than those guys. they were showing them on gameday live at 1030. a battallion of guys w/ shovels.

 

Because we had to have at least one good defensive play...

David in Maine:  Mr Urlacher says hello to BJGE....

 

Chitownproduct:  So Lach destroyed Law Firm? Love that nickname lol

 

And I thought I was confused....

no.fair.weather.fan.here:  I cannot even tell what yard line they are on...

 

Arbusto:  The one with snow on it.

 

This one stands best alone....

Allie:  someone should tell best buy that if you have to explain a joke its no longer funny

 

Asked and answered all very succinctly......

Allie:  more annoying all the praise heaped on woodhead or the fact that he actually goes by "danny"?

 

SJS_illini:  Yes.

 

And while we’re discussing the Patriots offensive line.....

Allie:  c'mon man  he could’ve made me a sammich while he waited to throw that ball

 

And later on....

Nih1lus:  where were the safeties?

 

SJS_illini:  Making Allie a sandwich.

 

Allie:  bring me a diet coke too

 

Arbusto:  And buying her an open heart necklace.

 

Allie:  just kill me now

 

Because I didn’t know that he played for the Patriots....

tfrabotta:  Offensive PI what the frick (edit) just pushed off of Urlacher

 

After a misspelling concerning the Bears fans ability to "loose faith" we have this retort....

suckmyditka:  how can faith be "loose"? stupid whore faith

 

Arbusto:  Well isn't faith there for all to be had. That seems fairly promiscuous to me.

 

For the best introduction of Wanda into the game thread we have this....

dakoose:  I like Olsen,  but does any Tight End go down so easy?

 

Allie:  wanda?  oh. wait.

 

torch:  This is game 13 Nothing left on Wanda is tight

 

It had context but this way is much more fun and it explains a lot....

Arbusto:  That's ok I may be getting high. Caulked the windows this morning and the chemical smell is still in the air…

 

For the fan club we get this....

Maelvampyre:  damn we are going to have to hit the showers at the half

 

Spongie:  Wanda must really be getting it…

 

Because I’m fairly sure that goes directly against Lovie’s fundamental defensive philosophy....

ThorCo:  How about you tackle then force the fumble

 

Sarcasm....  Yes, that’s what I’m talking about....

SJS_illini:  But blocking is illegal!  Just ask the Bears line!

 

Because even I enjoy a fine sense of irony in the face of bitter defeat...

SJS_illini:  I guess this is where the luck runs out. Fumble called and run back by… Spikes’ replacement.

 

If you remember it, then this is very funny.  If not it’s an inside joke....

Maelvampyre:  Challenge it Love, make your wife a happy woman!!

 

Because it was a spot on observation and yet it still made me giggle (he said butt)....

The Kaiser:  Knox's Butt Cheek Was on McCourtey’s foot. He wasn’t down. We’re going to lose this.

 

In response to some mild trolling by an Eagles fan and I love the criterion.....

Kev H:  I didn't ban him yet. I want to see if he’s funny, first.

 

torch:  Huh I can’t hear you over the sound of the butt (edit) kicking we gave you, reverberating through time

 

Later...

Kev H:  Oops, I accidentally banned him.  No, wait. Oops implies I feel I made a mistake.

 

Just putting it out there....

Maelvampyre:  atdhe link sucks big time too

 

Allie:  that aint the link thats the game

 

You know it’s getting bad when you have this....

T-train:  I just broke out the Yukon Jack.......

 

Ah, witty banter....

Maelvampyre:  wanda and i are hitting the showers until the 2nd half Garza is getting man reamed today

 

Spongie:  Does that means he knows how Wanda feels?

 

Maelvampyre:  yes quite so, very asstute of you Spongie!

 

Spongie:  Astute. Astu… oh, I see what you did there :-D

 

Poor Peanut, the hits just keep coming...

Kev H:  Tillman could be benched. It will have no discernible effect on this game.

 

And the squirrel theme returns...

Spongie:  Punting flaming squirrels as halftime entertainment? I’d watch that.

 

Johnathon Thopmson:  That is exactly what is going on  Fornicating (edit) squirrels, it’s all their flaming (edit) fault.

 

There is wisdom in this statement....

iowabear:  Games like this are easier to take if you don’t have those inexcusable losses to the Redskins and Seahawks.

 

Let me answer this one.... Yes.

VegasCubsFan:  Is it bad when I think the commercials are more entertaining than the game?

 

To quote the quoations of another poster posting a previously tweeted tweet...

Kev H:  Tweet of the Day from Brad Biggs  Charles Tillman passes off Deion Branch to the Invisible Safety and it’s a 59-yard touchdown.

 

BOBdaBEAR:  darn, we need an invisible safety that can cover

 

Sophistry, I love it and its many forms....

frenchbears 113:  Huh.... I guess feces does wear cleats

 

DaHamsta:  do, it is plural

 

Danno Davis:  I wonder what the singular is.

 

Spongie:  Might be a regional thing… I, too, would categorise "feces" as singular. Somehow, this discussion seems appropriate for this game.

 

Allie (voice of reason):  can't you just call it "poop (edit)" like everyone else?

 

SJS_illini:  He's not like everyone else.  He’s English.

 

Spongie:  Technically, Irish!

 

SJS_illini:  Eh, you folks across the pond are all the same.  (dismissive wave)

 

Perhaps the most well thought out, well conceived explanation for the loss but first....

Kev H:  The offensive line The Patriots have a solid one playing a solid scheme for years+ The Bears have a non-talented one playing a complicated scheme for about three months.

 

HappyHuman:  It's the Bieber hair!  Shave Brady’s head and he’ll be powerless, like Samson!

 

We have this comment with an international flair....

Claudio Oliveira:  Dude..  I think the Bears players will not sit for weeks.. I can feel my butt (edit) being kicked here in Sao Paulo, Brazil..

 

Story time with Uncle H.  I love a good story....

Kev H:  Haha.  Before the third quarter Lovie and Belicheck get together. Lovie says "hey, how about you spot us a receiver 40 yards down field."  Belicheck, interested in proving that he can stop it, says "Sure"  Cutler still gets sacked.

 

More of your daily serving of sarcasm.....

Lovie’sMith:  That Bears pass rush is terrifying.

 

Maelvampyre:  hell yes, wanda and i hide under the covers every time it fails

 

HasClothesLikeAPenis(edit)head:  Good news, USA has an Indiana Jones Marathon going

 

Rope a dope.  Like Ali.  Yes, now it all makes perfect sense....

T-Train:  I get it now!  The Bears are trying to lull the rest of the league! They’re throwing the game horribly and then they’ll squeak out the rest of the games to win the division and then in the payoffs, they’ll cut loose.  Or……..maybe I’m just enjoying this Yukon Jack a little too much.  Either way, it’s on to Minnesota (or Detroit or wherever the game has to be played next week.)

 

WOW... ROTFLMAO..... Nailed it...

gafferland:  My dispensary in LA Just added "Watching the Bears" to the medical conditions for which marijuana provides relief.

 

Again with the witty and biting sarcasm...

Lovie’sMith:  Thankfully the coaching staff did a good job or this would really be a blowout  OK 4 more TDs and we’re back in it!

 

Simply outstanding analogy...

GallopingGhost:  We scored!  It’s like finding out you have a dread disease but then getting hit by a bus crossing the street…

 

More Tillman love....

Bearing Down 21:  Tillman = Can't Cover for poop (edit)

 

Lovie’sMith:  He covers poop (edit) good. It's the moving parts that cause problems.

 

Maelvampyre:  exposed was only the beginning…he would have needed anal cauterizing after what I was going to say

 

And now for something completely different.....

Maelvampyre:  i'm hoping the wind holds up long enough to launch Wanda into the lake

 

This man speaks the truth...

Spongie:  Bears fanhood and manic depression have a lot in common…

 

For the best play off a misspelling/typo...

chiguy8506:  i envoy u

 

Kev H:  You messenger him?

 

SJS_illini:  Carrier pigeons, apparently.

 

BearNecessities:  with an attache case ?

 

Isn’t this what practice is for?  Now we know why the D looks underprepared....

Allie:  if only we could play against our own o-line

 

This makes for an interesting debate... sorta...

GallopingGhost:  This is why everyone hates the Patriots 4th quarter, up by 29 and Brady is still in there passing. Running up is in no way against rules or "wrong" but it’s just rude and unnecessary in the NFL.

 

BearNecessities:  wish we had a team that could do that though

 

Lovie’sMith:  I'll have what he's drinking

 

Because I think most people missed the late, late reply....

Allie:  can't believe there are still nearly 7 minutes left oh my god. end the agony

 

Maelvampyre:  i heard that on my honeymoon

 

Because at this point in the game it certainly couldn’t hurt....

Cubfansince1957:  I think it's Tom, errr, Todd Collins time now.

 

Maelvampyre:  i'd rather see phil collins in there

 

Cubfansince1957:  I can feel it coming in the air tonight.  It’s called a butt-kicking.

 

Unbridled optimism is such a rare commodity...

Cubfansince1957;  Actually, take out the whole first half and we're winning, 7-3. Awesome!

 

Descriptive and a fitting end...

CloudyFuture:  Well maybe  Lovie will bury the game ball and it wont be so bad…..

 

Maelvampyre:  yeah and i can tell you where he needs to bury it he will need K-Y

 

Well that's all I have for this week except to say we're still the best in our division and still one of the best in our conference.  A crucial game coming up next week vs Minny in ?  So show up (where ever this game will be played) and bring your "A" game and maybe wind up here next week for the best of your in game thread....

 

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