I Leave You Guys Alone For One Game and We Almost Lose.... Best of the In Game Thread!

My wife's family celebrates Christmas early.  Really early.  So I missed this one.  Both live and on the thread.  So every comment was fresh and new to me with very little context.  This makes for a very interesting read.  I have no idea what happened during this game other than we got down early but came back late.  When I read the line for this I was amazed at how much we gave up in the first half, and by how little we gave up in the second half.  Hopefully this teams eyes are wide open from here on out.  No overlooking anyone again.  But one thing I NEVER overlook is the clever comments made by the likes of you good folks.  So join me for the best of YOUR in game thread.....

When someone mentioned that Roach was the starter we get this. Way to jinx it stranger....

Kev H:  It is indeed.  AND SO BEGINS THE ASCENSION OF ROACH—THE ANIMAL THAT WILL OUTLAST US ALL.

When someone pointed out KVB’s replacement we get more foreshadowing with this witty quip:

awfullyquiet:  McBride, IIRC got a sack and quite a few hits on Cutler in Week 1...

But then again, that was week 1.

 

CloudyFuture:  And against a horrible  Bears offensive line….Oh wait….

Clever....

BOBdaBEAR:  THIS WEEK IN PRACTICE:

Cutler watched "how to tame your dragon"

RBs watched "Unstoppable"

Oline watched "The Blind Side"

and WRs listened to "I believe I can Fly" (lack of Tvs…)

Defense replaying danieal mannings hit on Bess…2nd consec road shutout

On another note, I may not be able to watch the game (NJ) but I WILL see the fireworks display by the martzfense

This was epic but it’s exactly why I love the game thread so bear with me.....

Da Hamsta:  LOGISTICS

 

BOBdaBEAR:  hell yea

 

SJS_illini:  Logistics? Psh. The Bears offense will show UPS what logistics looks like, right? Right?

 

BOBdaBEAR:  thts kinda what i meant, dude

 

SJS_illini:  I'm sorry.  It’s hard to tell what someone means when "hell yea" is all I have to work off of.

 

BOBdaBEAR:  its a game thread, whaddya want, a dossier?

 

SJS_illini:  "Fornicate (edit)  yeah" gives a little more info than "hell yea."

 

BOBdaBEAR:  depends on the setting...

 

SJS_illini:  I'm not about to debate the semantics of "Fornicate (edit) yeah" versus "hell yea" in the middle of a CHI/DET football game.

 

BOBdaBEAR:  handshake?

Again I didn’t see much of the game but this sounded Yoda-like and made me think of the tree falling in the forest thingy...

Da Hamsta:  Ok, lets get out tackling more sound

Nice comebacker....

CloudyFuture:  Holy Cow is stanton pale….

 

the hellbilly:  he had a pint of blood taken out before the game for the rehab after the game.

I have no idea what this means but I love the attempt to clarify it....

awfullyquiet:  I'm glad they clarified Peanut's cover skill as 'Based on Size'

 

Maelvampyre:  i'm sure his wife agrees

And then we have this fine contri..... Huh? 

Kev H:  NZI Don’t be too eager, Hankmel

Punctuation is so important.  At first I took this the wrong way completely....

MidWayMonster54:  Favre is down and out !!!!

 

the hellbilly:  good. attention harlot (edit).

Everyone has internet feed complaints but this is a funny reply to said complaint....

Arbusto:  It's cattle manure (edit) that you can’t get an illegal feed to the game?

 

Cihcago030:  Yes.  If Time warner cable won’t provide it, someone should!

 

Kev H:  Where do you live? I would imagine the NFL is screwing (edit) you more than Time Warner.

Well played.  Well played indeed....

Basketball Smurf:  Quote from Ryan "that guy has ability from the waist down, and he knows how to use it"

 

Maelvampyre:  i would never make that observation publicly

Great overall observation in any context whatsoever at this point....

Kev H:  Isn't just about any day a career day for Stanton?

 

CloudyFuture:  If watching drew stanton doing a TD dance doesnt get them fired up they deserve to lose…..

WAIT A FREAKIN’ MINUTE.... Wanda AND the girls????

Maelvampyre:  gotta take wanda and the girls to Nutcracker...

The voice(s) of reason?  Really, you guys?......

suckmyditka:  Ya know...it is only the first quarter

 

Kev H:  No. False. The season’s over. Haven’t you seen the other comments?

Great reply to Kev H.  And are you saying that comments that aren’t raunchy aren’t intelligent?  Or that when Kev H posts his comments that aren’t raunchy they are not intelligent? Oh, and every comment about Wanda is not by virtue intelligent but....

Chicaogo030:  Nice to have your insight on these otherwise raunchy gamethreads.

Weird to see intelligent comments not using the word "flipping (edit) Bears!" or about Wanda.

Just so we’re clear that we aren’t the most over-reactionary fans and he’s cool.....

Robert Rence:  T-Jack with the Pick 6 Gonna be mixing my rum with more rum.

 

Arbusto:  If you want to come over and watch an actual football game I’ve got the Sunday ticket here in Savage.

 

Robert Rence:  Games including the Lions Are not actual football games.

Ummm... great use of innuendo but, I mean, how would you know...

Chicago030:  Crosby sucks.  Badly.  Better than Wanda though.

HA!!!

BL3ACH:  (Face Palm) Does Lovie know there is no prize for the fastest one to use up your timeouts?

 

SJS_illini:  But if he doesn't have them later at least he can’t mismanage them.

 

the hellbilly:  look at your question. does Lovie know... the answer to any question beginning with that is NO. followed by lots of laughter.

Oddly enough during a long Star Wars tread thingy we get this....

Arbusto:  Being better than poop (edit) Is just poop (edit) without corn in it.

This happens to me all the time....

Arbusto:  You closed the thread As I was making a snappy and extremely witty comeback, the likes of which shall never been seen again, at least from me.

 

Kev H:  I find this to be highly unlikely. Still, kudos to you on your alternate universe comment.

After an official thanks to our guy from a serviceman who couldn’t get a link we have...

Spongie:  You take that back! He’s a Canadian hamster :-D

Tasteful and understated...

SJS_illini:  Trust me, I'm so excited I might raise an eyebrow.

With a tip o’ the helmet to the worst ad campaign ever, I’ve been asking this for weeks then the ensuing diatribe...

Basketball Smurf:  why would someone order less taste in their beer?

 

Arbusto:  Why is Bud one of the best selling beers?

 

awfullyquiet:  Still tastes like butt (edit). Then again, Miller Light also tastes like butt (edit)…

 

Spongie:  Oh, come on, people. No-one’s asked how he knows what butt (edit) tastes like?

 

snley:  Give your lady a good rim job and she'll be very appreciative

 

Kev H:  I have a theory. A large majority of Americans enjoy drinking dirty dishwater.

Welcome to the club.  Please note the poster isn’t named Johnathon.....

Chicago030:  Is it time to kick flaming squirrels yet?  Yeah. Or commit...

homopyronecrobeastiality

Completely wonderful random observation with questionable quotations usage....

Cosmis:  "Mike Martz was talking about it last night" "this guy’s leg strength in his lower body." as opposed to his other leg strength?

As fine a criticism as I’ve heard in a while....

touchdown bears:  Someone give the defense a snorkel...that way they can breathe with their heads up their backsides (edit)

Random.  No really, this is random....

Sir Buckets:  Ah, the American Country Awards.  Kill me now.

After a general discussion of the playing abilities  of Tommie Harris we have this disturbing exchange....

the hellbilly:  one of my pubic (edit) hairs could outplay Tommie

 

chicago030:  no. only wanda's pubes are of that caliber.

Again with the general grossness....

Mandingo54:  The lions are like that itch located between your rectum (edit) and your testes (edit)...that never seems to go away no matter what you do to it.

You had to say it or it had to be said...

CloudyFuture:  Surprised no one has said it yet Its obvious that they are missing the nice Soldier Field surface……The MVP of the Bears defense……

Okie dokie then.....

the hellbilly:  I need an Oxycontin suppository.

To sum up how you all felt about the first half we have....

pierzynskirules:  fiffle ugh

 

ThorCo:  Fiddle-dee-dee (edit) it Im out I can’t type angry enough right now

Great idea....  Might just work.....

Arbusto:  New strategy Let the O-line rotate at QB and see how it feels to be sacked constantly. Maybe they’ll learn something.

For the fan club we have this gem....

Cosmis:  Drew Stanton is competing his butt (edit) off today. Someone needs to put him on his butt (edit)…

 

Maelvampyre:  Wanda! Oh sorry I hear something about butt (edit)

He’s from Arizona.  Not exactly the deep south (I keed, I keed).....

JoeCB1991:  Come on Bears...Get this win. I don’t want to be pissed off during the wedding I have to go to after the game ends.

 

Spongie:  Is it your own?

 

JoeCB1991:  My cousin

 

Spongie:  You’re marrying your cousin? I keed, I keed :-D

When discussing the Lions and their lack of luck we have this comeback....

Spongie:  Oh, I dunno… they were probably thinking "Yeah! We got Matt Millen!" at one point.

Because I wasn’t there to hear it but I love it anyway.....

nih1lus:  "its hard to find your mojo when you don't have feathers in your cap"

did they just compare the lions to pimps?

Because I LOL’ed.....

DaHamsta:  What happened to my stream?

 

Spongie:  Think of waterfalls, rushing rivers, babbling brooks. That sort of thing.

Wax on, wax off....  Love the reference.....

tfrabotta:  Vashers in!!  Go deep his way!!!

 

ThorCo:  Exploit the weakness  Sweep the leg

Now for your Academy Awards Section.  All nominees are selected by a chimp named Zeke who draws the posts from a sack and winners are chosen by random poop throws made by me.....

After much complaining about the o-line we have the sarcastic comment of the night...

CloudyFuture:  Cool only 3 players came in untouched…..

For best reply of the night we have....

Tfrabotta:  Whose the backup if Stanton gets hurt??

 

Maelvampyre:  henry ford

For best use of the English language (no editing) we have...

joewho112:  I would like to present the Tim Ryan Drinking Game (c) Everytime he says "Nobody is talking about ____’s ____," drink.When he mentions talking to the coach’s last night, drink. Whenever he starts fellating a third string QB, drink

For the best idea for taking out frustrations on a player we get....

Cosmis:  How do you not get that ball, Jay? And stick(edit) you with a soldering iron, Manu.

Best Charles Tillman comment ever.... No really EVER.....

Allie:  buy your man some new spikes then he spends more time on the ground than grass.

For best Dane reference of the night (well, first ever to be honest)....

Gaak:  Why wasn't Steltz Cut? why is he still here?

 

Kev H:  Dane wrote a very nice letter.

For best cinematographic (sp?) reference in an in game thread post and because I love Planet of the Apes....

Maelvampyre:  for the love of god i wish lovie would wipe that Dr Zaius look off his face

Comment of the game because it capped the game perfectly....

TheMan1:  Wow Lovie smiling? Someone call hell, it might start snowing

That’s them for this week ladies and gents!  The winners are Spongie’s syphillis and genital warts, Dandy Don Meridith, Mr. H, Dane Steltz, my pride, and everyone else who contributed to the thread.  We win in spite of ourselves but you guys we’re as good as gold.  Next week we take on Brady and his shredding passing attack against our secondary (may the good lord have mercy on our souls) so show up there and maybe wind up here in the Best of the In Game Thread!  I’ll be in  Florida next Sunday but I’ll do my best to be a part of the thread and hope to see you all there.  But seriously, may the lord help our secondary next week....