Monday Afternoon Chicago Bears Haiku
by Kev H on Sep 13, 2010 11:00 AM CDT
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PrintFor some strange reason, I had a request at the end of last week to answer a question in the form of a haiku. Then, this began to interest me, so I've written some haiku about the game yesterday. I'll give you a little sampling of it now, and you can check out the rest after the jump
Warm day with the sun
Fans in blue and orange garb
Football has come back
Field re-sod and new
Detroit is scared and shy
Fifty-four destroys
Need to punt the ball
Mannelly snaps to Maynard
Coffin Corner Kicks
Lions back to pass
Backus becomes a turnstile
Pep ends Stafford game
Deep in Lions den
Briggs runs fast through the linemen
Fumble at the one
Ball is on the turf
Tommie grabs and stumbles over
Next time just fall down
First play for Olsen
Catches then fumbles the ball
Hands made of charmin
Bears Territory
Screen to Forte out of play?
Inconclusive View
Last down and goal line
Wall of Lions proud and tall
Kick the effing ball
End of game prevent
The Megatron makes the catch
No, wait, just kidding
Dallas game next week
Their O-line made of swiss cheese
Kev predicts five sacks
What do you think? What's some ancient japanese poetry among fans?
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to quote Mr. Garrison from South Park
“A Haiku is just like a regular American poem, except it doesn’t rhyme, and it’s totally stupid”
"Kick the effing ball."
Haha, well done and so true. How you DON’T take the lead that’s offered to you is beyond me.
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 13, 2010 11:49 AM CDT reply actions
Exactely!
What kind of Moronic Psycho-Babbly was that regurgitating out of Lovie’s mouth about the defense protecting a 5 point lead vs a 2 point lead because blah, blah, blah,
…. HEY!
Lovie!
Ya need to first friggin TAKE the Lead, before ya worry your knucklehead about PROTECTING the Lead!
… and here’s the killer that came out of his “pie-hole” …. “I’d make that call every time”
Is this the “Epitome of Stupidity!!!!”
Is this man is truly beyond redemption???
pbanachi
Exactly.
Step one to protecting a lead…
Taking said lead.
Lovie tried to go for style points and it almost cost the team.
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 13, 2010 12:26 PM CDT up reply actions
offense stumbling
but the D was vintage Bears
Romo’s a dead man
by Steve Ronkowski on Sep 13, 2010 12:35 PM CDT up reply actions
wouldn't that also be
the offense was vintage Bears?
by Bearly Intimidated on Sep 13, 2010 3:46 PM CDT up reply actions
Outstanding.
This is by far the Greatest collection of Chicago Bears related Haiku’s dedicated to week one of an NFL season in the history of the world.
In the 8th grade Mike Ditka won his school's Science Fair with a model of a working volcano. There were 17 other working volcano's made that day, but only one named Mount Ditka.
by Lester A. Wiltfong Jr. on Sep 13, 2010 12:17 PM CDT reply actions
Geez, you talk about cherry-picking your stats... ;-)
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 13, 2010 12:24 PM CDT up reply actions
The Number Four looks Bad!
The O gave up Four sacks.
The O had Four Turn overs
The O went Zero for Four in red Zone TD’s … (or O%)
The O had close to Four Hundred yards, … but scored only in the teens :(
We can’t count on our D knocking out the starting QB every week.
It was a nail-biter, to the last play, of the fourth quarter, to the worst team we will play :(
We’ll find our with The Boys how this season might go, … if not, … for sure with the Pack.
Go Bears!
pbanachi
This is good, don't get me wrong...
but the super fans posts are superior in content by far.
David Taylor's personal hype man. Check out his website unless you're a loser. http://www.cheekymonkeyart.com/
by Ditkavsworld on Sep 13, 2010 12:33 PM CDT up reply actions
You schill.
How many people do you hype for?
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 13, 2010 12:47 PM CDT up reply actions
I'm more offended
that he sucks up to everyone but me.
If I did what I love for a living, what would I do in my free time?
Writer at windycitygridiron.com {-/-} http://www.twitter.com/kdoggers
Your ban hammer scares me.
David Taylor's personal hype man. Check out his website unless you're a loser. http://www.cheekymonkeyart.com/
by Ditkavsworld on Sep 13, 2010 12:53 PM CDT up reply actions
Why? You feel neglected?
The natures of the contracts or the clients I may or may not represent is of no concern unless, said individual deems the hype man reveal his true intentions.
David Taylor's personal hype man. Check out his website unless you're a loser. http://www.cheekymonkeyart.com/
by Ditkavsworld on Sep 13, 2010 12:53 PM CDT up reply actions
But doesn't the quality of your hype for David Taylor
decrease with each additional client you take on? Or are you just so full of hype that we should call you Lovievsworld? ;-)
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 13, 2010 1:05 PM CDT up reply actions
The key to a great hype man is
versitility. And if you ever call me Lovievsworld I shall…. Well this will happen to you.
David Taylor's personal hype man. Check out his website unless you're a loser. http://www.cheekymonkeyart.com/
by Ditkavsworld on Sep 13, 2010 1:19 PM CDT up reply actions
I encourage the diversification of his portfolio.
-------
www.cheekymonkeyart.com | facebook.com/cheekymonkeyart | twitter.com/cheekymonkeyart
by David Taylor on Sep 13, 2010 1:25 PM CDT up reply actions
And I appreciate it.
Also please look into diversifying your bonds with WU-Tang financial.
David Taylor's personal hype man. Check out his website unless you're a loser. http://www.cheekymonkeyart.com/
by Ditkavsworld on Sep 13, 2010 2:27 PM CDT up reply actions
This man speaks the truth!
In the 8th grade Mike Ditka won his school's Science Fair with a model of a working volcano. There were 17 other working volcano's made that day, but only one named Mount Ditka.
by Lester A. Wiltfong Jr. on Sep 13, 2010 1:57 PM CDT up reply actions
Thanks Kev
I thought the one haiku I requested would be enough. This is fantastic!
by ClawsClawsClaws on Sep 13, 2010 1:00 PM CDT reply actions
Yeah, no problem.
I do what I can. Perhaps I should make you my groupie hype man like Ditkavs World.
If I did what I love for a living, what would I do in my free time?
Writer at windycitygridiron.com {-/-} http://www.twitter.com/kdoggers
I didn't know you were in the market Kev
and it’s all one word….. Ditkavsworld. If you like we can discuss the possibility of me being added to the WCG staff as personal hype man that way the rest of the writers/editors don’t feel like they are being neglected.
David Taylor's personal hype man. Check out his website unless you're a loser. http://www.cheekymonkeyart.com/
by Ditkavsworld on Sep 13, 2010 2:26 PM CDT up reply actions
No thanks.
I am my own groupie hype man.
And I know it’s not Ditkav’s World, but my brain refuses to separate them properly.
If I did what I love for a living, what would I do in my free time?
Writer at windycitygridiron.com {-/-} http://www.twitter.com/kdoggers
Lol Do you realize how long it took me
to realize that was a “vs” in the middle? Well, it was much longer than I like to admit.
"The time has come to get deeply into Football. It is the only thing we have left that ain't fixed." - HST
So what you're saying is
no you don’t want to give me a job.
That’s racist.
Well done with the nam. K e vH
David Taylor's personal hype man. Check out his website unless you're a loser. http://www.cheekymonkeyart.com/
by Ditkavsworld on Sep 14, 2010 6:20 AM CDT up reply actions
It's less racist
and more classist.
And the actual spacing is supposed to be “K e vH”
If I did what I love for a living, what would I do in my free time?
Writer at windycitygridiron.com {-/-} http://www.twitter.com/kdoggers
Hahaha,
I didn’t realize it was going to take unnecessary spaces out.
Let’s try this “K________e_______vH”
If I did what I love for a living, what would I do in my free time?
Writer at windycitygridiron.com {-/-} http://www.twitter.com/kdoggers
That's better. And touche sir....
David Taylor's personal hype man. Check out his website unless you're a loser. http://www.cheekymonkeyart.com/
by Ditkavsworld on Sep 14, 2010 12:43 PM CDT up reply actions
...
Lions come to town
Ref calls no catch for Calvin
Bears claim victory!
IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO FIRE LOVIE!
ode to lovie
lovie stands pensive
expression akin to sloth’s
while game slips away
(if anyone has a picture of a sloth’s expression, please feel free to post it – sorry I don’t know how-)
"Stay thirsty, my friend."
Well since you asked so nicely.
David Taylor's personal hype man. Check out his website unless you're a loser. http://www.cheekymonkeyart.com/
by Ditkavsworld on Sep 13, 2010 2:22 PM CDT up reply actions
Extended family of yours?
David Taylor's personal hype man. Check out his website unless you're a loser. http://www.cheekymonkeyart.com/
by Ditkavsworld on Sep 13, 2010 3:26 PM CDT up reply actions
Ohhhhhh, that could be fatal......
David Taylor's personal hype man. Check out his website unless you're a loser. http://www.cheekymonkeyart.com/
by Ditkavsworld on Sep 14, 2010 6:21 AM CDT up reply actions
Nicely done Kev
A+ for effort.
If you can't laugh at yourself you must not be very funny.
I remain a pessimistically hopeful Bears fan.
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