What a season. I hope this is your chance to relive it as a fan. These all go in order of games played so it should be a walk down memory lane. It has been a labor of love for me this year Bears fans. Reading through the game threads and pulling the comments that made me chuckle. So for this one I did it all over again. Sort of. I read through every column I wrote and examined the comments that made it into those. Then I found the ones that still made me chuckle and I had a post that was humongous. So I limited my personal comments to only those which required some context. Then I cut out a bunch of those and tried to keep it to comments that were funny in any context. And this is the result. I hope you enjoy it and if you would, cut and paste your favorites, tell us why and maybe we'll wreck the ones we really like and have our own "Academy Awards" section. Thanks for commenting in the threads, thanks for reading, and keep reading as I post three more "Best of Post Seasons" yet to come... Thanks for a wonderful year.....
wilsoneads: Has Cutler ever smiled? Outside of when he’s out drinking?
no.fair.weather.fan.here: if you played behind that line, would u?
Allie: who wants someone who smiles while losing?
JoCro: Lovie Smith?
Allie: all the more reason for total regime change.
JoCro: Ok, new plan Mannelly lines up at center. Maybe if Jay takes it 15 yards deep he won’t get hit.
TheMan1: Someone get Lovie on the headset It’s OK to smile when Forte busts a 89 yard run
Chitownproduct: If it was Sean Payton He would be doing the electric slide.
TheMan1: Anyone know when Martz's due date is?
JoCro: Field position is overrated 99 yard drives are where it’s at
SJS_illini: Cutler is one hell of a RB.
Doshi: If I were to meet Lovie Smith on the street randomly... I would strangle his buttocks (edit) to death, and everybody around me would cheer.
BearNecessities: if you did it in chicago nobody would even arrest you
T-Train: If you laid a hat in the street, people would drop money in it as they walked by.....
BearNecessities: absolutely, take him out to the 50, and let the fans stone him
Doshi: Stoning is too good for him... Drag his butt (edit) out into the middle of the danged (edit) Sahara with no water and leave him there…
BearNecessities: lace the sahara with mines and you have a deal
Kreutzski: "We like our desert.."
Arbusto: The oline looks like something I just left in the toilet.
Juicebox: whatever is in your toilet could probably block better
Torch: You leave Swiss cheese in the toilet?
Cosmis: Does anyone else Really want to punch Joe Buck in the face?
Nando21: no, but i would like a shot at lovie
Allie: if your picky about spelling i suggest staying out of game threads.
Allie: don't get cute when you need 6 inches.
Arbusto: It's easier to get 6 inches when you're cute... Just sayin’
GallopingGhost: Peppers single-handily scared the entire left side of the Packers o-line a couple plays ago.
Arbusto: "Hello, Tackling? It’s me, Da Bears. Do you remember me? We dated for about 6 months 4 years ago. It was really hot. We were doing it all over the place. I miss you. Please come back to me."
Cosmis: Favre's names was just uttered Jon Gruden has a boner.
Allie: Is Peppers married? I may just volunteer to have his babies. He. Is. Awesome.
Fridge72: The man is busy, don’t distract him with stuff (edit) like that
Allie: I’d wait til after the game.
lawyeti: at least lovie can't say "we like our time outs" cause he clearly doesnt
BabylonDon: How about a story about a healthy 19 year old blonde Bears fan Who loves to make pizza?
BearNecessities: you mean the perfect woman?
Maelvampyre: she'd have to have a flat head
Spongie: Tom Cable reminds me of the trolls in the Lord of the Rings films.
See if you can figure out which game this one came from....
ifuwannacrownem: no way can hanie play worse
LightsOutVegas: maybe if he lost the use of his arms
MPG: That was on Collins
Johnathan Thompson: I heard his Nursing home is looking for him
Basketball Smurf: he is the 3rd best QB in the nursing home Bears didn’t want to pay the other 2
Allie: Sometimes I wish SBNation had the word substitution like Fark does. That way every time someoene said Hanie it’d change to something like "boobies" or "shite". Because its starting to get on my nerves.
Arbusto: I'd agree with statements like "Boobies now!" "Bring in boobies!" "The crowd wants boobies!"
Spongie: But not "The crowd wants shite!"
Arbusto: I dunno Poop is always funny.
Allie: not when its wearing a Bears uniform
Arbusto: Do you think anybody would want to tackle A giant running turd? See, that’s funny.
Spongie: So that explains Benson’s breakout season last year.
In reference to a certain backup QB’s rating during this game...
tfrabotta: Mr. Blutarsky...0.0
MPG: well, god love peanut, but he really does have trouble in coverage. which is kind of important as a corner.
SJS_illini: Williams doesn't "DO" blocking. He does finesse slaparound.
Lovie’sMith: This O-Line couldn't block Betty White!!!
Bl3ACH: they would hav e 2 hold her
Because this was the introduction of Wanda it deserves a special highlight....
Maelvampyre: my inflatable doll is going to need a vulcanizing patch if we lose this game
Wanda had just done her mr Bill imitation...…oh noooooooooo!I can’t watch.
Wanda is covering her eyes now...
Johnathan Thompson: Balls Gotta grab them
Ditkavsworld: Chris Williams should get at least half a sack on that one.
mac30: Maybe they should make Williams a D-tackle
BL3ACH: make him a TE, he can’t block anyway he will fit right in with the group on the roster
Cosmis: Aikman on Knox "he has great speed, and he has great quickness."
Me- "Whaaa? YOU CAN HAVE BOTH!?!?" Wonderful analysis as always, Aikman.
ifuwannacrownem: if this game sucks anymore junk (edit) it’s gonna feel like i’m watching a porno.
the hellbilly: Lovie doing what he does best throwing the red flag and looking confused
Johnathan Thompson: CONVERSION!? What the hell is that!?
DieHardBearsCubs: I believe It’s an old old wooden ship, used in the civil war era…
VegasCubFan: Urlacher just said he wants to go play on the skins so he can hit Cutler fair and square
After our bye week we have this gem....
the hellbilly: can someone please tell me WTF our offense was doing for the last 2 weeks? Binge drinking?
David in Maine: Shuffleboard tournament?
the hellbilly: our D just gave me wood...
Spongie: If that’s the run stuff, then technically Peppers gave you wood…
Gaak: Tommie Harris Gives you Wood? wow.
Ditkavsworld: Just call it autumn lumber, it sounds better.
Fridge72: If they could just figure out which plays the old Tommie was going to come out for. They could just play him those six plays a season.
Fridge72: Olsen, strikes me as the type that would constantly be hitting his thumbs if he were a carpenter.
Doshi: Cutler shouldn't be throwing that poop (edit)...
Maelvampyre: we had a chimp named Cutler in our local zoo who threw all kinds of poop (edit)…at the visitors
Ditkavsworld: In the words of the late great Col Sanders I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.
RexysMidnightRider: "it was pretty but i got bored." Just described most of my relationships
Joe Banks: Our line is looking pretty acceptable... Is like saying "after six beers, you’re wife isn’t quite so ugly"
Maelvampyre: i think that is Virginia McCaskey in Maynard's uni doing the punting today
Chitownproduct: or Betty White
Maelvampyre: would prefer Barry White
Cosmis: Forte? With a cutback? Blocking? Five yards? Arbitrary question marks?
Dils: Yep. He's a top 5 QB when he has protection
Joe Banks: Quick - buy him a box of rubbers!
RexysMidnightRider: Every time Matt Millen started a sentence with "I think..."
I would just respond with "yeah, but you picked Charles Rogers, Mike Williams, and Joey Harrington."
Cutler6fan8: Whats up with Maynard? he doesnt seem to kick very far.
RexysMidnightRider: I think you just answered your own question
JoeCB1991: Martz doesn't know the meaning of the word run
Spongie: Well, he’s a little overweight.
Cosmis: and...Manu forgot to block again…
Arbusto: That's why I keep confusing him with an o-lineman.
Maelvampyre: Wanda wanted me to let you all know she can't be here tonight.
…she’s at a PTA meeting.
After THE HIT in the Dolphins game.....
Cosmis: JESUS LORD IN HEAVEN DANIEAL MANNING JUST KILLED A MAN
the hellbilly: Piss break! This Corona is racing thru me! Somebody save my seat!
Maelvampyre: two words : astronaut diapers
BOBdaBEAR: that formation shift was planned the confusion was not
JoCro: LOL Loving Cutler’s route on the Wildcat Stroll three yards, pump fist, return to huddle
theotherDane: Other than a few O-Line miscues This is the best I think the Bears have played all season. It’s Autumn Lumberish…
the hellbilly: Andy Reid reminds me of the last dump I took.
touchdown bears: Hairy? you should see a doctor
Basketball Smurf: Quote from Ryan "that guy has ability from the waist down, and he knows how to use it"
Maelvampyre: i would never make that observation publicly
touchdown bears: Someone give the defense a snorkel...that way they can breathe with their heads up their backsides (edit)
Arbusto: New strategy Let the O-line rotate at QB and see how it feels to be sacked constantly. Maybe they’ll learn something.
Nih1lus: where were the safeties?
SJS_illini: Making Allie a sandwich.
Allie: bring me a diet coke too
Arbusto: And buying her an open heart necklace.
Allie: just kill me now
Kev H: I didn't ban him yet. I want to see if he’s funny, first.
BOBdaBEAR: darn, we need an invisible safety that can cover
gafferland: My dispensary in LA Just added "Watching the Bears" to the medical conditions for which marijuana provides relief.
Allie: can't believe there are still nearly 7 minutes left oh my god. end the agony
Maelvampyre: i heard that on my honeymoon
Been there, thought that...
RexysMidnightRider: You can watch football while sober...? It's like a whole new world has been opened for me...
Jacob Hayes: Rashied Davis...60% of the time, he catches the ball every time. Bear Down Droppapotamus, for tonight we dine like kings, and you sir are a hero among men.
Theotherdane: I'm out of vomit. Time for more to drink
RexysMidnightRider: "When I think of Brett Favre, I think of a football player..." Thanks Jaws. All this time I had no idea he played football. I just thought he was a hick who sold jeans.
Maelvampyre: we all have to draw the lines of propriety somewhere my friend
SJS_illini: My line told me to flag my own post. I said forget (edit) you line.
Maelvampyre: i've flagged my own post enough times that’s why i got Wanda
the hellbilly: Anyone guilty of a false start should be kicked repeatedly in the scrotal area (edit). Repeatedly.
Maelvampyre: but not so hard as to put them on IR
Gaak: We Won't Have An O-line Then
Joe Banks: Suggestion: Perhaps the Bears secondary can pose for a picture next to the wide open receiver before Sanchez throws it.
Fire Ron Turner: our defense is on vacation.
RexysMidnightRider: your screen name is outdated
ed_brown: you can never fire Ron Turner too many times
Bear Fan in Germany: Chris Harris, I offer you my wife.
ed_brown: got a brand new one of his own :o)
touchdown bears: You gotta like that new wife smell
Johnathan Thompson: Where are the womenz?
Maelvampyre: right here riveted to the game
Spongie: "The Game" better not be the name you give to your junk…
Bears-Cubs Bulls: Defense looking tight
Johnathan Thompson: So is Wanda. Too soon?
Maelvampyre: not so much after new years.
FtWayneSoxFan: The old "lay on the ground and wait for the QB" trick.
gafferland: Worked for Jessica Simpson