The Bears beat the Chargers and Roy Williams actually looked like a WR: the best of the in-game thread

A strange game thread, this, with under 1800 comments (and some of them weren't even calling out lame nicknames for receivers whenever they managed the highly unusual feat of making a catch) but there was still some fun to be had, and to see what you came up with you only have to peek behind the jump.

Bonus feature: laugh at how pathetic and whiny Lions and Eagles fans are in their in-game threads!

This was just askin' for it:
C-Razzle: UNLEASH THE WIND!!!!!!
badsamaritan: Just farted, mission accomplished.

To be honest, we've always suspected this.
Allie: I'm starting to feel guilty for watching football. We're doing our thanksgiving dinner tonight since my dad has to work 3-11s this week. I keep getting told I don't have anything to do but still feel guilty. Sometimes being a girl sucks.
Spongie: Since when do women complain about not having to be in the kitchen? :-D
Allie: No one ever said girls were logical

For those of you who remember HBCG.
Allie: 3rd and 25? if they convert this I'mma riot
Bears-Cubs Bulls: Wonder what you rioting looks like?
Allie: a white cane and a lot of swearing

After Henry Melton shot through the line to tackle the running back immediately after the handoff...
Hugh Heavens: Dare I say that was Tommy Harrisesque
Allie: did he limp off?

Team! Teeeam!
Sound_Automatic: our hester > their hester
Cubfansince1957: Our team > their team. Our water boy > their water boy. Our jock straps > well, I wouldn't know about that.

The game was at Soldier Field, wasn't it?
Cubfansince1957: Bird down on the field. I thought they flew south for the winter?
Sound_Automatic: it's an away game
Cubfansince1957: See what happens when you participate in the game threads? you learn [Edt: stuff].

We've learned to have low expectations for Roy Williams.
BearNecessities: Holy [edit: poop] 2 in a row....This can't end well

Roy Williams' breakout game wasn't entirely good news for every Bears fan...
ed_brown: every time Roy makes a catch I get disconnected from WCG?
(a short time later)
ed_brown: it happened again. Roy catches one and WCG won't reload for 5 mins

It's not been in vogue since, oh, the mid '40s.
Sound_Automatic: I hate the bacon collar commercial with MJ
Cubfansince1957: Yeah, Michael looks stupid in that. And it's hard to make Michael look stupid.
Jack's Elsewhere: He has a Hitler stache

Hamsters are more erudite than I'd thought.
dsenchi: That's not pi? [Edit: Male bovine excrement]
Shuggs: It isn't 3.14854848595066
DaHamsta: Neither is Pi

NotJayCutler had a few thoughts on the game, too.
NotJayCutler: Philip Rivers is warming up in Crocs.
NotJayCutler: Teabagging Robbie Gould's helmet.
NotJayCutler: I know what you're wondering, and yes, Norv Turner looks like a terrible coach in person.
NotJayCutler: The key to getting over pregame jitters is lapdances.
NotJayCutler: I am become touchdowns, destroyer of Chargers.
NotJayCutler: After the game, I will be signing autographs at Boobies.
NotJayCutler: I'm gonna play the rest of the game with my pants off.
NotJayCutler: Oh, did we win? Boners for all.
NotJayCutler: So I'm watching this debate and not one of these dicks has talked about thumb healthcare.

Finally here's some examples of whining from Pride of Detroit and Bleeding Green Nation in-game threads in their recent losses against the Bears:
Whiny Lions fan 1: Schwartz forgot to bring a bucket of cash to the game. The refs reminded him of that.
Whiny Lions fan 2: A penalty on the bears???? Wow…shocking.
Whiny Eagles fan 1: WHAT THE [Edit: Fudge]!!!! no flag?!
Whiny Eagles fan 2: How is that not interference?
Whiny Eagles fan 3: John Gurden[sic] is so bias[sic] to the Bears

What a bunch of pathetic crybabies, right? I'm so glad I don't have to read through in-game threads full of such childish comments. Not at all like our noble Bears fans...
Non-whiny Bears fan 1: Wow the defender was ALL over [insert name of Bears receiver here]!
Non-whiny Bears fan 2: I have a feeling that they wouldn't have reversed [a call that initially favoured the Bears] if it were the Chargers instead
Non-whiny Bears fan 3: a little touchy and it's a [Edit: fingerpainting] PI call. I've seen Knox get mugged constantly and yet that's just good D. [Edit: Make sweet, tender love to] these refs
Non-whiny Bears fan 4: holding teen[sic] yerd[sic] penulty[sic] [Edit: LET'S COPULATE] YOU STUPID INBRED REF
Non-whiny Bears fan 5: every announcer on fox hates the bears

Yessir, our fans are nothing if not knowledgeable and classy all the way.

 

Well, there we have it, like a midget (4'10" and under) who's had a jar of honey spilled over his head: short and sweet.  Next up, Hanie leads the offense against the Raiders.  Be here for the in-game thread if you can and if you do, for the love of Ditka, please set your braincells to "funny" rather than "pathetic and whiny". I have to wade through all these comments and one is definitely more entertaining than the other.