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Bah Humbug! Which NFL Head Coaches Should Be Fired


I love Christmastime - presents, food, liquid libations aplenty, playoff football (unless you're a Bears' fan this year). But, this year, for one reason or another, has been crazy busy with a nonstop onslaught of activity driving me to the edge of madness. So, I'm pulling out my Mr. Scrooge card and asking - which NFL coaches deserve to be fired at the end of this season? Jump like Santa's belly during a hard landing.

Star-divide

First, let's hit the in-season casualties: Jack "Ask my OC" Del Rio (Jacksonville), Todd "Anger Management Needed" Haley, and Tony "Got Whacked" Soparano. All three coaches deserved it, although in Haley's case, his personality probably played a pretty big role in his departure. Now, for our list of guys that should be collecting severance come February:

Raheem Morris: His "youngry" team of overachievers had a terrific 2010 season, especially considering the expectations for that team. This year, "youngry" has given way to "terriawful" as the Bucs have struggled against a tougher record leaving them at 4-10 with two weeks left. While it would be a bit of a surprise to dump him one year after a solid season, he will be entering "lame-duck" status next year and the team may not want to wait and ride it out. Also, the regression of Josh Freeman has been horrid.

Jim Caldwell: I don't want to hear about how the only coach that shows even less emotion than Lovie Smith should get another year due to the Manning injury. The Colts were by far the worst team in football for the majority of the season. If management decides to draft Luck and dump Manning, they should have a good list of candidates interested in working with the next big thing under center. The current two-game winning streak they're on means nothing, either, except that the Colts are trying to play themselves out of the number one spot.

Norv Turner: Seriously, ProFootballTalk in the matter of three weeks went from "A.J. Smith and Norv Turner gone" to "winning streak could save their jobs." If I was a Chargers fan (I'd probably be the tenth since they get blacked out more than the Northeast during snowstorms) I'd be in a blinding rage over any possibility that Norv comes back. His blueprint each year is: suck at some point during the first half of the season then save/salvage said season with a few solid wins late in the year. A.J. Smith hasn't done well lately bringing in new talent, not mention he comes across as a bit of a Richard, but at least Turner should suffer the consequences of doing exactly what his teams always do. Let the man go back to what he does best - coordinate an offense, not run a team.

Tom Coughlin: Just put him out of his misery. Coughlin seems like the kind of guy that would never just up and quit; you'll have to fire him and drag him out of the building to make him stop. The Giants are underachieving again, and while they're 7-7 and could still be in the playoffs, I think its time to turn the page and let a new coach try and get this team back to the Super Bowl. And, I pray that person is Rob Ryan, because I believe having two Ryan's coaching in the same city is a sign of the apocalypse.

Steve Spaghetti: That's Spagnuolo, the 2-14 Rams' Head Coach that is challenging the Colts for the worst team in the league title and having St. Louis reconsider keeping them in their city limits. Injuries have crushed this team, but while Harbaugh is owning that division with practically the same roster he had last year, Spaghetti's team is in the crapper, which is now an annual rite (like steriod allegations or people over-referencing Festivus).

Honorable Mention:

Mike Shanahan: Dan Snyder's capable of anything (and I seriously mean anything) and any person, no matter how many titles he one while riding Saint John's shoulder pads, that thinks that Rex Grossman and John Beck are good quarterback options is either a child of said players, or should get a brain scan to see if it has been replaced by a gigantic ego.

Leslie Frazier: I think he deserves another year, since apparently the wake of destruction left behind by Brad Childress was so destructive he had almost no shot at success this year. Frazier's like a chipmunk that stayed in Prypiat after the Chernobyl accident; he figured "hey, all these nuts are mine, score!" Instead, he'll out of there way sooner than he expected (although at least he did better than Alvin).

Chan Gailey: Great start to the season, then they realized they were still the Bills, and Fred Jackson got hurt, meaning all hope was lost. I really don't blame Gailey, but that whole organization needs some fresh blood (sound familiar). If your fans think they were better off in the Dick Jauron era, you know something's amiss.

Pat Shurmur: Decided to be the offensive coordinator in addition to his first-time head coaching responsibilities, which was just stupid. I know Cleveland doesn't have a lot of weapons (just Peyton Hillis, Montario Hardesty, Greg Little, some decent tight ends... wait, that's not bad) and a regressing second-year quarterback, but this season was awful to watch from afar with just boring, ugly games. And, being that I live just outside of Cleveland, I get to watch/hear about the horridness up close and personal. It's like living near a sewage dump that you smell everytime you go outside and pass on your way to work each day (wait, isn't that how most people view Cleveland?).

Hit up your contenders in the comments, and Happy Festivus everyone!

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What? You no fire Lovie Smith

Damn trolls….

Jay Cutler is our QB, and I for one am proud of that

by Erik Christopher Duerrwaechter on Dec 23, 2011 2:43 PM CST via iPhone app reply actions  

I demand Martz's head on a pike outside of Soldier Field.

but will settle for run out of town on a rail tar and feathered.

Cacti are prickly.

by crackedcactus on Dec 23, 2011 9:44 PM CST up reply actions  

Let's imagine...

Lovie had enough and decided to call it quits and join the NBC SNF crew to make the creepy stare duo. Tomlin should definitively go. Bellichick too. And those Harbaugh guys? Complete amateurs.

Now, back to serious land. Caldwell was managing what was left of Dungy’s tenure, but lacks the ability to be anything but a caretaker. Norv is in the same boat as Andy Reid – For how long can you have a dominating team and not win a Superbowl without getting fired? At least Reid went to one, as Dan Marino once said about himself, before looking at Esiason with the eyes of someone who is about to ask a very private talk in the parking lot.

by lmfsilva on Dec 23, 2011 2:47 PM CST reply actions  

Norv Turner is an interesting guy

Great offensive coordinator, but that doesn’t necessarity translate to being a great head coach. The other factor is – how much does luck (bad) come into play? Was Jimmy Johnson really that great a coach, or was he just in the right place, at the right time? This year aside, Turner seems to have done a great job in grooming Rivers. I would take him as an OC, in a heartbeat.

by JimmyMack on Dec 23, 2011 11:11 PM CST up reply actions  

the only coach who deserves to keep his job is going to be the one who wins the SB

fire everyone else and tell their dog that there is no room at the kennel.

. "Most football teams are temperamental. That's 90% temper and 10% mental."
--Doug Plank

by ed_brown on Dec 23, 2011 4:03 PM CST reply actions  

I would love to watch ESPN try and Big Board the move of changes after this.

It’s like there are 31 coaches and only 30 chairs (we all know Al Davis would become Zombie Davis, HC of the Raiders.)

Cacti are prickly.

by crackedcactus on Dec 23, 2011 9:46 PM CST up reply actions  

Of the guys on the first list...

I think that Spag at least sticks around for next season. That team was devastated by injuries, including their starting QB. And they have been for a couple of years. I think Spag gets one more year to get it all together before they just say Plork It and clean house.

Of the guys in the second list, honestly none of them really deserve to get fired. But Shanny might, knowing Snyder’s propensity for tinkering. Frazier’s in his first year, and you generally don’t see HC differences until year 2 (Harbaugh notwithstanding). Same with Shurmer, though he needs to get his head out of his anus.

As far as Gailey, I think he’s going to end up a lot like Norv Turner. He’s an AMAZING offensive coordinator, one of the best in the business. I’ve never seen anything like what he did with KC in 2008. That being said, he’s still trying to figure out this Head Coaching business. Plus, he lost his best player at the worst time. The Bills IMO are better than they were at any point during the Jauron years. He’ll stick for at least one more year, if not longer if he does something with it.

by Doshi on Dec 23, 2011 4:10 PM CST reply actions  

I would LOVE to pick up Spag for the DC position.

The man can game plan anyone. Look what he did to Tom Brady.

Cacti are prickly.

by crackedcactus on Dec 23, 2011 9:47 PM CST up reply actions  

Jeff Fisher

"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Mark Twain

by phastphil on Dec 23, 2011 6:26 PM CST up reply actions  

Virginia McCaskey's younger son.

Or JA’s cousin.

It’s our lot in life to suffer.

Cacti are prickly.

by crackedcactus on Dec 23, 2011 9:48 PM CST up reply actions  

If Martz leaves

What are the odds of Haley becoming OC here? He was the WR coach here once upon a time.

by MrPants on Dec 23, 2011 6:19 PM CST reply actions  

Garrett may not be back if Dallas misses the playoffs.

Same for Rex Ryan, his mouth is starting to overload his ample ass. Andy Reid probably hangs on but he’s a possibility also. Interestingly, 2 of the best young up and coming coaches should be coaching here. I’d take Harbaugh or Chico over Lovie any day. Lovie made sure to get rid of Chico early on….

by mick11 on Dec 23, 2011 6:27 PM CST reply actions  

Jerry has a love affair with Garrett

Though Romo’s days might be numbered if he does the “Good Rex, Bad Res” one more time. Plenty of QB’s coming down the pipe. (See Matt Barkley next year).

Rex Ryan puts fans in the seats up in NY. People buy tickets just to vent AT Ryan on the sidelines.

Cacti are prickly.

by crackedcactus on Dec 23, 2011 9:50 PM CST up reply actions  

It's no secret...

I wish the Bears would pursue other HC candidates. I’m not so much of the opinion that Loive is anywhere close to the problem with the Bears, but I just don’t see him as much of a solution. I always think of him like Doug Collins was with the Bulls, not a bad coach, just a bad fit for the situation. I think one of 2 things has to happen for the Bears to have playoff success next year:

1. JA is sent away (taking Ruskell and Phillips with him) and the Bears bring in a GM who hits on 3-4 FAs and 3-4 draft picks. Lovie gets to run the system he enjoys with quality players and their talent will exceed his ability to require much in the way of adjustments, clock management skills, and TOs/challenges.

2. JA is sent away (taking Ruskell and Phillips with him) and the Bears bring in a GM who hits on 3-4 FAs and 3-4 draft picks. That GM brings along a coach who works with him to build a quality team over the next few seasons. In the interim, that coach is able to use what he does have in talent and opponent specific game-planning to make consistent playoff runs.

There's a fine line between stupid...and clever!

by LostInSTL on Dec 23, 2011 6:59 PM CST reply actions  

WISH LIST

How about Jeff Fisher with a GM that want,s to win football and are not scared in taking on better players. Guy,s that want to take a gamble and win, that,s what i would like.

by stepeo on Dec 23, 2011 10:32 PM CST reply actions  

Caldwell isn't even the coach there

Thats Manning’s job

Arizona Cardinals/Chicago Bears fan
Phoenix Suns, Arizona Diamondbacks, Phoenix Coyotes, Arizona Rattlers fan
[I have always lived in Arizona, dad is from Chicago].

Leading the NFL in swagtangibles

by JoeCB1991 on Dec 23, 2011 10:58 PM CST reply actions  

cleveland and weapons

greg little isn’t a weapon. targeted 109 times and only catching 57 passes. that’s 52 drops. little almost has more drops than catches. he’s the type of player that gets coaches fired.

" Mike Brown is the owner that Cincy doesn't deserve, not the one it needs..."

by palewook on Dec 24, 2011 6:49 AM CST reply actions  

Um sorry to say

But all non-caught balls are not considered drops. Little has more upside than anybody we got at WR.

If its free, take two.

by T.J. Shouse on Dec 24, 2011 7:37 AM CST via Android app up reply actions  

care to guess which wr leads the nfl in drops?

little.

" Mike Brown is the owner that Cincy doesn't deserve, not the one it needs..."

by palewook on Dec 24, 2011 7:44 AM CST up reply actions  

Thats why i said more upside

Little has hands issues but more potential than any WR we got.

If its free, take two.

by T.J. Shouse on Dec 24, 2011 9:57 AM CST via Android app up reply actions  

12 drops isn't really a good thing

But look at who else is on that list. I haven’t watched Little, so I can’t say much about his play, but only citing drops when others like Roddy White, Brandon Marshall (who many Bears fans have been clamoring for), Dwayne Bowe, and Jermichael Finley are on that list right up there with him, that’s not necessarily a great measure. I would like to watch his play: does he finish routes, are the drops on him, should he have more drops given to him, where was the ball placed when he dropped the ball? Those are just a few of the questions you have to ask. I realize that a WR biggest responsibility is catching the ball, but I want to see tape before I say that his 12 drops make him a terrible weapon.

by Digs D-League on Dec 24, 2011 8:51 PM CST up reply actions  

Hard to believe the Bucs were 4-2 back in mid-October.

In 2010, the only win they had against a team with a winning record came in Week 17, when the Saints sat their starters.

That said, their collapse this year has been even more complete than I was expecting.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"Perfection is not attainable,
but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence."

"We're nobody's underdog!"

"We don't play scared!"

by NorthStarr on Dec 25, 2011 7:10 AM CST reply actions  

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