Brett Favre to Return to Football!  Sorta.....

As has been reported, Panthers QB Cam Newton was injured and is out for the season. When the team originally approached Brett Favre to gauge his interest he appeared reluctant . He publicly stated he wasn’t interested in a return at this point, citing his concussion as his reason. After several weeks had passed Favre was again approached by the Panthers but this time stated he felt “good” and had not ruled out a return. This was followed up by a call from Ron Rivera as well as visits by Joe Beason and DeAngelo Williams. Favre then issued the following statement; “I am considering a return to the NFL. At this point my head feels fine but I’m still having problems with my shoulder. I think I’ll need a couple of weeks to consider my options.” It is now being reported that after a physical Brett Favre will be signing a 10 million dollar contract with Carolina Panthers to play the remainder of the season. Brett stated he will require “no time” to be game ready. When asked, his wife Deanna stated, “I’m feeling joyous about this move. It really is exciting for us and our family right now.” When asked about his wife’s comments Brett could only say “Thats my wife”. When asked how he thought this would impact the Panthers John Madden stated, “Man with a Hall of Famer at Quaterback I feel that the once worst team in the NFC South can become the best team in the NFL when you have a shifty WR in Steve Smith and a good RB core to go with a Offensive line most QBs could only dream of. I feel that Brett Favre will get the most out of his team and easily contend for the Super Bowl.”. It would appear Brett Favre is once again poised to lead the Carolina Panthers on their way to a historic season.

As has been previously reported, Titans’ rookie QB Jake Locker was injured and is out for the season. When the team originally approached Brett Favre to gauge his interest, he appeared rather delighted with the HD-video capabilities of his new phone. He publicly stated he wasn’t interested in a return at this point, citing age as his primary reason. After several minutes had passed, Favre was again approached by the Titans but this time stated that he felt younger and had not ruled out a return. This was followed up by a call from Jeff Fisher as well as visits by Cortland Finnegan and Kenny Britt (more on that later). Favrer then issued the following statement: "I am considering a return to the NFL. At this point, my arm feels fine, but I’m still having problems with my head (mainly the brain area). I think I’ll need until the end of training camp to consider my options. It is now being reported that, after a physical, Brett Favre will be signing an incentive-laden contract with the Titans to play this season, with a “special reward” being offered if the Texans make the playoffs. Brett Favre stated he will require a couple of nights at home to be game-ready. When asked, his wife Deanna stated, “I’m feeling neglected about this move. It really is frustrating for me. And ONLY me, I hope…” When asked about his wife’s comments, Brett Favre could only look at his smartphone and say “$#1T!.” When asked how he thought this would impact the Titans, John Madden replied, “WOW! All we’re gonna need is one pick and then BOOM! All of Nashville’s gonna be clammorin’ for his release. Speakin’ of release, have you seen how slow this dude’s gotten? Even Vince Young would be a better fit.” It would appear Brett Favre is once again poised to pwn the Titans on their way to a horrifically forgettable season.

UPDATE: The “special reward,” as we have recently learned, is a Rolodex containing the cellphone numbers of every female reporter in the US. No word on how this is intended to be procured…