The Chicago Bears need a TALL red zone target!!!

What up!  What up!!!  WHAT UP!!!  what up...  Yes, Da Meatball Kid is back!  Long time no see!  You know you missed me, ADMIT IT!!!  ROTFLMAO!  Where have I been you ask?  DUH?  The Yahoo message boards, where else?  How did I hack into your little Bears site this time?  HA! HA!  This doofus in front of me on the Metra was logging into WCG and I spied his log in info!  (Cuz I'm Smart And Stuff!)  He has no idea I'm gonna sabotage his stooopid article breaking down the fade route...  Really?  Um, WHO CARES!  I know and you know what you really want to read.  It's still sort of about the passing game, so how ticked can this guy be, but just like I told the B&B show on the Score, the Bears need to sign a tall wide receiver!  REALLY TALL!

As you can see by my picture of choice, I think the Bears should sign Yao Ming.  He's looking for work after retiring from the NBA and his signing could bring the Chinese audience to the NFL!  Win Win!  He's 7'6" and would dwarf all the defensive backs in the league.  Who the hell is gonna out jump him for the ball in the red zone?  He's so big he could put D.J. Moore and Tim Jennings in his pockets and still jump up for the TD.  I just don't understand why the Bears haven't looked to sign a basketball player yet?  But I do have to admit something...  Yao Ming isn't my first choice in retired NBA superstars...  I'd much rather have the recently retired Shaq!

Shaquille O'Neal just signed on to be a studio analyst with TNT, but had Jerry Angelo been listening to me when I called into the Score a month ago, the Bears could have jumped on my idea and had there big WR.  I really should have a consulting gig with the Bears.

I just think with the animated way Shaq plays basketball, always jumping around and yelling, that his fire and passion would really translate to the gridiron.  The Bears would not only have a 7 foot target but also a passionate athlete that I know would care about the game.  Win Win!

But I know...  I get it...  not all Bears fans are as open minded as yours truly.  Some say; 'a basketball player could never transition to the NFL', um, sure buddy.  NEVER.  So for those of you that aren't quite as out the box thinker as I, I present to you another option.  He's 6'6", he's 222 pounds, he's only 28 years old, he's a freakish athlete, and his last season he caught 65 balls.  Matt "Mother F'N" Jones!  So he's been out of football a few years, SO WHAT!  He was only busted with a little coke, not that big a deal...  He'd provide a better option than the other players that have been bandied about on these message boards.  Plaxico Burress: old, dumb, and done!  T.O.: old, injured, and done!  Randy Moss: old, lazy, and done!

Bottom line is this, the Bears need size at receiver!  Let me end with a story.  A story about a big tall dude I played with in high school.  It was before our sophomore year, and we had an exchange student come to us from the Sudan, I couldn't pronounce his name, so we all called him Dude.  Dude was almost 7 foot tall, and our coach was also the basketball coach and he had Dude play football too.  We'd put him in when we got close to the end zone and have him run to the goal line turn around and catch the lob.  TD!  Un. Stop. Able.

So there it is.  I could go on, but my stop is up next!  Until I hack into this site again, See Ya Suckers!

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Windy City Gridiron

You must be a member of Windy City Gridiron to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Windy City Gridiron. You should read them.

Join Windy City Gridiron

You must be a member of Windy City Gridiron to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Windy City Gridiron. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker