Bears 23, Panthers 22: The Best of WindyCityGridiron's In-Game Threads

David Banks

Bears 23, Panthers 22: The Best of WindyCityGridiron's In-Game Threads

Kellen Davis' throwing mechanics are still better than Tim Tebow's.

Talk about a nailbiter - but the game ain't over 'til the fat lady sings. She was warmed up and about to burst into song, but not before Robbie Gould's winning kick. The best of what WCG made of it all follows...


That's how they roll in Canada...
DaHamsta: Slinkies are intimate objects, they do not have emotions
northernsails: inanimate, you mean?
DaHamsta: Well I screwed that up
David in Maine: Hey, what you do behind closed doors is your business....
DaHamsta: Not anymore

They were hideous. HIDEOUS.
crackedcactus: My god Pittsburg uniforms look like a bumblebee had sex with a prison uniform.

That ain't kosher (pun intended).
Maelvampyre: They just called him Ham Newton on the radio
Just Dave: Peppered ham mmmmm….
Maelvampyre: who doesn't like ham?
Just Dave: Jews?
Maelvampyre: oh they love ham but they won't admit it

Was leftcoastsoxfan channelling Lovie Smith's thoughts in Q1?
leftcoastsoxfan: quick! someone call a timeout!!
leftcoastsoxfan: we should call a couple timeouts, get our thoughts together
leftcoastsoxfan: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE CALL A TIMEOUT

That's "couch" as in "Greg Couch".
northernsails: Soldier Field DOES look like a toilet bowl. No Thanks to [Edit: couch]hole Philips

Party like it's 1793!
LostInSTL: Everyone love execution... just ask Marie Antoinette!

Toss her a football and smash her to the ground?
derlemke: My lady friend in a Steve Smith jersey isn’t happy with me right now.
suckmyditka: give her the D

Landry? oh, laundry.
crackedcactus: Damn You LAUNDRY! You made me miss a Bears TD. I gonna [Edit:martz]ing bleach you up now.

"Happy" pr0n, no less.
ECD: Rachal really opened the hole for Forte when he pulled on the trap.
stepeo: That sounds like [Edit: Pr0n]

I don't like the throwbacks anyway.
crackedcactus: Bears Uniforms made them so old school we forgot how to pass.

That's racist.
suckmyditka: When did the bears get a black HC ?!????
ES46NE10: that's not the HC, that’s the designated time-out coordinator, Ditka is still the HC

The offense needed a spark...
Just Dave: I KNOW!!! RUN THE END AROUND!!!
crackedcactus: I hate you.

I even watched the sequel. Sandra Bullock can burst through my door with a chainsaw, any time!
crackedcactus: I think there's a hostage situation somewhere in Chicago, so Lovie's not allowed to use a TO all game. And you thought Speed had a bad plot for a movie.

6 sacks in the first half...
BOBdaBEAR: Well have fun Lester
David Taylor: If Les gifs each sack this week, it may break the internet.

I can't watch a game and play Madden at the same time.
Ditka's Stache: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GB kickoff return for TD
bassist33: Hmm, you must be watching a different GB game?
Ditka's Stache: sorry nevermind... stupid yahoo

Included not because it's funny, but because I needed some relief after scrolling through so... much... bitching and whining.
DutchBear: Jeez people. The Panthers D-line is good. Our O-line sucks yes, but give Carolina some [Edit: martz]ing credit.

I believe that's how they fight - balance momentarily on the tail and deliver a kick with their rear legs.
BEARSFAN19: We need our hands team on the kickoff. They keep pouch kicking and we are getting no return yards
BOBdaBEAR: pouch kicking is a sport for kangaroos

Q3 thread: "So fart, his game has not been what Bears fans wanted to see"
Just Dave: The title of the thread told me to fart. So I did.

That's ra... damn, already used that one.
ES46NE10: pick 6 right here come on guys
suckmyditka: ain't gonna happen today
T.Moore: Don't bring that Cam Newtontude here!

Is that anything like "choking Captain Picard"?
Shuggs: I want to strangle Stevie so much....argh.

I <3 Allie.
Allie: the only thing uglier than this game is this thread. christ what a bunch of babies are in this place.
Allie: hope the whiners miss the jump. if we have to lose lets at least be funny about it.

Many meatheaded comments followed Gould's missed FG. Why would anyone listen to gridiron analysis from a baseball guru?
baseballguru589: Bears deserve that. Field goal did nothing there, should have gone for it

Could be. I don't get the turning on your own team and crying like a baby because the opposition refuse to roll over and let your team walk all over them, either.
DutchBear: The thing I don't understand with (gridiron) is when a team isn’t playing well, the crowd is silent.. Must be a culture thing. I’m used to screaming my f-ing lungs out to cheer on my team, as long as they’re in the game.

I <3 Allie. #2
reppinchitown: Believe it or not, but Hester has been our MVP today
Vortex51: It what world ??
Allie: its a little early to be be this drunk, dude

Tom Coughlin would love to know, too.
Vortex51: Sheesh not feeling to good on the time. Lovie is horrible with clock management
suckmyditka: How is he supposed to magically stop time??

This should be a thing.
T.Moore: The 5th Phase: The [Edit: Dilfy] Field

It puts the lotion on its skin...
lmfsilva: crap. keyboard died again. I feel like a kidnapper copying letters and pasting them.

The last-gasp game-winning drive may have come at a terrible cost. Or, well, a cost.
T.J. Shouse: Gotta find me a cross roads demon, asap

I <3 Allie. #3
Allie: we are offically the worst nickname giving website ever. good lord.

We've joked about this before, but she could well be my long-lost half-sister.
NolesBearsHeatChelsea: damn! packers struggled to beat the JAGUARS at home lol
Allie: why do i have a feeling that if you heard a packer fan making fun of the struggle we just had to beat the panthers at home, you’d be pissed….

Time and tide wait for no man...
gafferland: Now I can go back to nursing my hangover
youngbear85: this game will give me hangover
leftcoastsoxfan: this game took ten years off my life
ed_brown: better you than me. I don’t have a spare 10 years

Two zingers for the price of one!
75bearsfan: How exactly did we win that game? Wow...
crackedcactus: Luck and a prayer. Wait that's Indy and NYJ.....

?
crackedcactus: I'm celebrating from the middle of a pumpkin patch.

??
crackedcactus: I have udder faith that Romo will [Edit: martz] it up somehow. It’s funny cause I’m being stared at by cows. They must hate pumpkins.

Heh.
Bullforlife: Was Earl hurt at the end there? Anybody have a status on him?
suckmyditka: "in a relationship" I think


A few from fake Twitter accounts...

@NotJayCutler
- Turnover isn't just something I yell during sex.
- Is this a bad time to talk about a contract extension?
- I just figured that if we're wearing throwbacks, I should play like Cade McNown.
- Don't worry, Romo. You'll love Arizona.

@CoachLovieSmith
- On that one play, Shea McClellin out-performed every first round pick from Jerry Angelo ever.
- Cutler is now playing with a neck fracture, because it's less annoying than years of Chicagoans calling him "soft."
- Things on the east coast that the media over-hypes but everyone finds very underwhelming: Hurricane Sandy, the New York Jets, the Yankees,

@FauxJohnMadden
- BREAKING: National Weather Service projects Mark Sanchez to be a bigger disaster than Hurricane Sandy.
- If a football comes flying through your window this afternoon, don't be alarmed.. there's a good chance Tony Romo threw it.
- Just like the last Cowboy to wear #88, Dez Bryant can't avoid a white line when it matters the most.
- Larry Fitzgerald concussion test: Q: "Who is the best QB in Arizona?" A: "We have a quarterback?" "Ok, you're fine."


We go to visit the Titans on Sunday, where Chris Johnson will be looking to get back to 2k form. Let's hope for a more complete performance from the offense!

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