"...where I can't be the only person ever to have rearranged fridge magnets into the names of deviant sexual practices at a friend's house party."

Marshall understands trade, takes parting shot at Dolphins QBs - Was it a parting shot? They (over)drafted Tannehill 8th overall, so it looks like their front office agrees that they don't have a QB...

Bears add DTs John McCargo, DeMario Pressley - Part of a tryout that included Trey Lewis and last year's Mr Irrelevant.

USAToday's Team Report - Your weekly round-up of the team's news.

Follow WCG on Twitter. We won't misdirect you to a party of lemons.

Bears rookies gather for orientation day - Get fitted for equipment, take physicals. No word yet on which one will be afflicted by the Bears Rookie Curse by writing a rookie offseason column for the official website (previous victims: Marcus Freeman, Corey Wootton).

Tillman looking forward to competition - Welcomes chance to practice on a daily basis against Brandon Marshall.

Alshon Jeffery prioritizes Bears’ offseason program - Declined invitation to NFL Rookie Premiere in LA. Unfortunately, it's mandatory.

Bears WR coach eager to work with Jeffery - Darryl Drake: “It takes years to understand and learn coverages." Neglects to mention that he doesn't seem to have been able to teach how to do it.

Each NFL team’s most promising UDFA - Insert Godfather of Soul pun here.

Some advice for rookies: get in your playbook Matt Bowen: "It all starts with knowing where to line up." Remember when a probably game-clinching TD was called back because a veteran in his 7th year didn't? Uh-huh.

NFL.com: Best remaining free agents - "Fat Albert would surely effect a complete turnaround in character for the Bears" chatter to begin in 3, 2, 1...

ProFootballFocus: 2011's Best OT Performances - JWebb Nation declares SHENANIGANS, votes him to Pro Bowl as requested.

NFL.com: Million-dollar arms: Six top QBs - Adam Rank can't count, as he actually lists 10. And, oooooo, you're not going to like it.

Football Outsiders Walkthrough: Concussions - One writer's thoughts on the concussion issue. Actually, I just wanted to include this because he uses the word "quim" when talking about the new Avengers film.

Know thy Enemy: Vikings' stadium bill passes Minn. Senate - Guarantees the Vikings' future in Minnesota for three decades. I was kind of looking forward to the incongruity of vikings on the Pacific coast.

Beastie Boys fan Sam Householder requested this to end the week. I was originally going to go with Sabotage.