Oh Please No: Van Halen Apparently Wants to Play Super Bowl

220px-david_lee_roth_smashbox_2008_mediumAnd so it begins.

It seems like every year around this time, when we're all waiting so very patiently for guys to put on half of their normal work clothes and run into each other repeatedly, that we get stuck with the "Who will play the Super Bowl halftime show" game.

Ever since JT and Miss Jackson (if you're nasty) released the 'Breast that shall not be named' there has been an increasing trend to make sure that the halftime performance showcases older musicians who are safe, relatively popular, and haven't been mistaken for sexy or provocative for twenty years.

This would be another one of those cases. According to David Lee Roth, Van Halen would really like to play the Super Bowl. I would really like for that to not be a thing.

Says Roth, from the article linked above:

Playing at the Superbowl is a veritable holy grail of musical recognition, a highly prized rite of passage for (game-changing) artists. Not a spiritual rite with snake pits or Hebrew school or anything, but it’s up there," Roth wrote. "We are not on Commissioner Goodell’s dance card at this time, but we would be most honored to dance the halftime away in New Orleans."

Hopefully not. Another aging rock band? No thanks.

Is this a spectacle that is truly needed? A loud, overly complicated 15 minute medley of songs that are often unintelligible to the television viewer? The audio of the Super Bowl halftime show tends to vacillate between band playing in a tin can, and person breathing heavily and awkwardly into a microphone after attempting to dance too hard.

Some other alternatives to half-time shows:

  • Commercials. Near constant commercials.
  • Highlight package of the year.
  • Football Follies. Those never get old.
  • John Madden eating.
  • Punt, Pass, Kick Competion between the bottom two teams in the league.

This is clearly written in jest, but the sentiment about the halftime show spectacle needing to be retired is valid. What do you think? Keep the musical performances? Who would you like to see? Do you have something else they should do instead? Perhaps we could write a petition...

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