Throw Eben Britton the Damn Ball!

Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

The Chicago Bears have been using backup offensive lineman Eben Britton as a tight end since week four. So far Marc Trestman has only deployed him as a blocker, but it's time to give the big fella some love, by throwing him the damn ball.

Back in the 90's, former New York Jets wide receiver Keyshawn Johnson famously penned a book titled, "Just Give Me the Damn Ball!" As you could probably guess, the book was about how Johnson wanted the damn ball.

He's a wide receiver, and there's a certain divaesque nature that usually goes along with the position. Chicago Bears backup offensive lineman Eben Britton has been moonlighting as an eligible receiver since week four, and since Britton would never unleash his inner diva and call for the ball, I wanted to do my part for a fellow fat-guy.

The fat-guy touchdown is a thing of beauty. Whether it's via a tackle eligible play, a trick special teams play, or a defensive return, there's just something about a big fella crossing the goal line. Just last week the Tampa Buccaneers caught the Miami Dolphins off guard on the goal line.


Bonus points should have been awarded for the dunk!

The Bears aren't doing anything new by playing an offensive lineman at H-Back and/or tight end, many teams in the NFL do this. It's really not that innovative, it just seems that way to Bears fans, because it hasn't been done in Chicago with any regularity in over 25 years.

Back in the 80s', the Chicago Bears took the fat-guy touchdown to a new level, when Mike Ditka lined William Perry up at fullback and actually gave him the damn ball. The Fridge ran for two TDs and caught another in 1985, and he capped off his memorable season with a Super Bowl rushing TD.

Bears head coach Marc Trestman started using Britton as an extra blocker in week four. He's been used to bolster the run game, and also to help in pass protection. According to Pro Football Focus, Britton, in six games and 106 snaps, has graded at a neutral -0.2. His poorest game, according to PFF, was against the New York Giants, and they had him with a -1.4. That is the only game in which Britton graded in the red, i.e., negatively.

Overall, he's mostly graded out neutrally, which they consider anything between -0.9 and +0.9, and his lone green grade (positive), was his run blocking against Green Bay at +1.1.

Trestman has been so happy with Britton's play, that they actually released the player then signed to be the blocking TE, Steve Maneri.

I would like to see Trestman reward that happiness, and throw his 6'6" 307 pounder a bone by slipping him out in the flat just once, and throwing him the damn ball.

Fat-guy touchdowns are the best, and this gives me an excuse to show the best almost-fat-guy TD in Chicago Bears history.

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