Newly signed Chicago Bears linebacker James Anderson will wear number 50 during the 2013 season. We don't like it. Number 50 hasn't been worn by a Bear since the legendary Mike Singletary last donned the uni on December 27, 1992, in a 27-14 loss to the Dallas Cowboys. We despise the Cowboys. That 1992 season was the 10th consecutive Pro Bowl for the man known for his intense stare, and the man that quarterbacked the Chicago D for 12 consecutive seasons.
I'm Samurai Mike I stop'em cold.
Samurai Mike is the man that took up the iconic middle linebacking mantle from Dick Butkus, and passed it on to the great Brian Urlacher. He was one of the most cherished Bears to have ever played in a certain city that actually birthed the middle linebacker position when the revered Bill George stood up from his middle guard defensive line spot to disrupt the just out of his reach passes from the Philadelphia Eagles. This certain city not only was the birthplace of the "Mike" backer position, but the birthplace of the 4-3 defense, a defense that the Bears have run ever since. And this city is of course the home of the most beloved and cherished sports franchise in the history of the world. Chicago, and that franchise is of course Da Bears.
Part of the defense, big and bold,
Todd put it best when we first heard of this news, "Who da Hell is James Anderson?" Once we calmed Todd down, with the aide of about 6 or 7 beers, we had to explain that this was the guy that was brought in to, in essence, replace Nick Roach. And Todd's response, "What makes him worthy of da 50?", so we did a little homework.
I've been jammin' for quite a while,
This will be Anderson's 8th year in the NFL, and he's not made one Pro Bowl. He is the Carolina Panthers leader in appearances by a linebacker with 94, but come on... I have underwear older than that franchise, and when it comes to linebacker appearances, his 94 is dwarfed by the 186 games that linebacker Doug Buffone played in for the Navy and Orange.
Doin' what's right and settin' the style,
He does hold the Panthers record for tackles in a single game with 20, but did you know the NFL record is 25, and it's held by a Chicago Bear. In 2006 against the Arizona Cardinals, yeah in "That Game", 'Lach was all over the field making play after play. James Anderson did surpass 100 tackles in 2 of the last 3 years, but Lance Briggs did that in 8 of the last 9 years. Statistically speaking, he's not worthy...
Give me a chance, I'll rock you good,
And has anyone even asked James if he likes ketchup on his hot dog? What his favorite pizzeria is? Does he even know the delightfulness of a beef sausage combo or a Maxwell Street Polish? Has he been to the Garrett Popcorn Shops yet? We just think he should earn his Chicago Stripes before putting on that number.
Nobody messin' in my neighborhood
We could see if he were a hot shot #1 draft pick like Manti Te'o, then handing out the #50 makes sense. Or if he were a free agent with the stature of a Patrick Willis, then maybe go with 50, but let's be honest, there's no guarantee this James Anderson will even be starting in 2013.
I didn't come here lookin' for trouble,
We understand that the Bears have two numbers in the 50s that are retired, 51 for Dick Butkus and 56 for Bill Hewitt, but we see no reason why the Bears can't just double up on some numbers for training camp. I mean has anyone heard of linebackers #96 Lawrence Wilson or #53 Jerry Franklin? We look at the Bears like our kids, we love them all, but let's be realistic, some of these guys are nothing more that training camp fodder. Keep #50 in mothballs, and #54 for that matter, and let history breathe a little.
I just came to do The Super Bowl Shuffle
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