Apparently, when you retire from football, you have two avenues about it - hold press conferences each of the next three seasons you actually do play to announce retiring then come back with much fanfare, or just quash any chances of it.
"No. No," Urlacher said. "My agent , when I told him ... I just want to retire. He went through every scenario, what if so-and-so calls? What if they offer me $10 million? I don't want to play. I don't have a desire to play. I'm not in shape. I haven't been doing football stuff.
"I'm sure I'll miss it when it's time to put the pads on and stuff. But I won't miss how my body feels when I'm done.''
Urlacher, Bears coach Marc Trestman, kicker (or [sic] punter) Robbie Gould, and former Bull Toni Kukoc took part in Friday's Encompass Championship golf outing as celebrity participants. Naturally, most of the comments came from the direction of Urlacher and folks wondering what's next for the recently-retired one.
Apparently it won't be coaching or television analysis.
"I don't think I would be a good coach,'' he said. "First of all, I don't want to spend the time coaching. I feel bad for them. During the season, they work 90 hours a week. I don't want to do that.''
"I don't think I would be very good on TV broadcasting games. 'He's running left, he's running right, 28 has the ball.' I don't know,'' Urlacher said. "We'll see. I've got a lot of time to think about it.''
In case you were wondering, Trestman's a 23 handicap...
"Obviously [Trestman's] been working hard with the football team," Mize said. "Hasn't had much time to play golf. But he has a nice swing, and I really enjoyed being with him."
Yeah, I guess that happens when you're an NFL head coach. Just a hunch.