Bears fans have started to realize that Phil Emery's draft picks can be just like Sour Patch Kids: first they're sour, then they're sweet.
The problem with this setup is that it requires a level of faith, a belief that your GM isn't out to screw you over.
So, has Phil Emery earned this trust? Does he deserve to have our support?
No, seriously. I'm asking.
I had no clue how to find an answer to this question, until I was flipping through a recent issue of a popular trade publication and came across this handy quiz, which I've edited slightly for clarity.
Take it yourself and find out whether or not you trust your GM.
1.) When it comes to your (General Manager), your friends:
a. Are always encouraging you to (find) someone else.
b. Don't quite know him well enough to judge.
c. Love him and say nice things about him.
2.) It's Friday night and your (GM) is:
a. Not responding to your (draft advice on Twitter).
b. You have no idea.
c. With his (work) friends, sending funny pics (from the war room).
3.) Have you ever caught your (GM) in a lie?
a. Yes - a little white lie, like, that he (may be trading out of a pick, probably just as a smokescreen to the other GM's).
c. Yes - a big lie, like, that he was staying in for the night, but really he was (drafting Shea McClellin despite not fitting the scheme. Or did he fit the scheme? I don't know schemes).
4.) When a pretty (NFL Prospect) walks past your (GM), he:
a. Full on (drafts them).
b. Checks them out, but still pays attention to you (and who you think he should go for).
c. Keeps talking to (himself about whatever, probably athleticism) and doesn't even notice (that prospect).
5.) You're at your (GM's) house and he tells you he's going to jump in the shower. While he is showering his cellphone rings and the caller-ID says it's (the Ravens, and they want to trade up to Chicago's pick and they're offering this year's 3rd and next year's 4th). You:
a. Tell them (Phil) will call them back, you trust (he'll make the right decision).
b. Imitate his (silky smooth) voice of and tell them (you'll make/not make the deal).
c. Don't answer. (Instead, you call the Bengals and get a little bidding war going. See? See this Phil? THIS is what I've been saying. A good GM doesn't just "use" the picks he has, he magically turns them into more, lower picks. In this one fictional scenario of my own creation I turned a first rounder into, like, three top-tier guys. Come on!).
Kinda lost track of things at the end there, but the rest of the quiz is still valid.
Unfortunately, you'll have to consult next month's issue of Cosmo Girl to figure out what your answers mean.
You're strapped to a conveyor belt that's moving you closer and closer to a saw blade that is ripping apart the logs on the conveyor in front of you (BTW, you're in a sawmill) while Phil Emery fights that one henchman that actually knows martial arts while also aiming his crossbow at the control panel which will shut down the saw. However, on the opposite side of the mill a raccoon and a Japanese body pillow are in similar peril. Emery has to pick between you and the other two. You yell out to him: