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The Bears Need to Bring Back Todd Collins and Here's the Best of the In Game Thread.

"In the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt."  -Bertrand Russell  (thanks Spongie)
"In the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt." -Bertrand Russell (thanks Spongie)

The Bears need to start Todd Collins on Sunday vs Washington.  It might be the only way to stop Mike Martz.  If we throw the crappiest excuse for a quarterback onto the field on Sunday we may actually run the ball.  If Mike Martz knows that the forward pass isn't really much of an option we could be forced to commit to the run.  Now before I get 32 replies telling me how delusional I am, let me point out that I am being sarcastic.  At least a little bit.  I do think we need to do something to shake things up.  And no more shuffling the offensive line so Frank Omiyale can look even more confused and out of place.  I'm still not sure why he kept sliding toward the guard when the rush was coming from the outside.  My one sentence analysis of the performance we witnessed on Sunday? The Bears played showed up for took the field were present at the game on Sunday.  That's about it.  But you guys took the time to show up for the in game thread and I took the time to read through all your crap to give you this crap for my weekly edition of the best of your crap from the in game thread.  Enjoy!

For over all strangeness in a good way....

Arbusto:  Hello, my name is Arbusto, and I'm addicted to Bears.  All kinds of Bears: Urlachers, Peppers, Cutlers, Aromashadus.  I like Bears at lunch. I like Bears for an afternoon snack. And I really like Bears with dinner.

 

There were a lot of early on optimistic comments (including yours truly) so I’m not picking on you but I love this because I have an answer.... Short answer; maybe?

pygreg:  Maybe this new o-line is finally the solution  Am I crazy to have hope?

 

We continue with the theme...

Nando21:  "Hope? Hope can get a Man killed in here".  Name that quote?

 

David in Maine:  Jay Cutler?

 

We have established this.  You DO need new glasses.

Maelvampyre:  I need new reading glasses or get the flipping (edit) NFL package

 

Great observation......

MPG:  well, god love peanut, but he really does have trouble in coverage. which is kind of important as a corner.

 

Just 'cause I too dislike the Golden Domers.....

Pygreg:  Dear Golden Tate,  This is the NFL, not Notre Dame. You can’t just outrun us because we’re not the D2 schools you usually play.

 

Nice exchange....

touchdown bears:  WTF (Wartburg Track and Field)  Williams  I think he has a welcome mat in front of him

 

BearNecessities:  gate 74?

 

Nando21:  open between the Hours of Noon and 3 p.m.. Hours Change at random!

 

'Cause it stands best on its own....

SJS_illini:  Logic?  HERE?  (chortling madly)

 

Great analysis.....

SJS_illini:  Williams doesn't "DO" blocking.  He does finesse slaparound.

 

Exchange of the night.  Pretty hard to outsponge the Spongie.....

Spongie:    Incidentally, my brother (which whom I routinely chat on messenger during games) just pointed out that Pizza Hut in the UK is twice as expensive as it is for you lot.

 

SJS_illini:  With.  With.

 

Suggestion of the night....

Gaak:  We need a new Oline  Bring in Lovie, Tice, Martz and Jerry Angelo along with Ted "The Legend" Phillips

 

Niiiiice......

touchdown bears:  Gees  I’ve seen monkey poop sh*t (self edit!) fights at the zoo that were more organized than this

 

When it was asked what the Bears do to prepare each week we have....

SJS_illini:  A circus  followed by a trip to the petting zoo, then group pedicures.

 

Great idea..... disturbing visual....

touchdown bearsC'mon  This team need to put its hands on their shoulder pads and pull, maybe then they’ll get their heads outta their asses

 

 

Nice correction....

tfrabotta:  Chris Williams  it’s okay to hit someone on the screen

 

SJS_illini:  Chris Williams  It’s okay to hit someone on the screen get in someone’s way.

 

This reminds me of the scene in Wayne’s World where they are talking with Alice Cooper.....

Nando21:  "Fish Hawk"  A "Seahawk" is a nickname for the Osprey, part of the Raptor Family. Other nicknames for the Osprey are "Fish Hawk"

 

I have wondered this for years with Hester.....

tfrabotta:  why is he catching the frigging (edit) ball inside the 10

 

In response to Lovie's facial expression (singular)....

Juperee:  Confused?  I always thought he was just constipated.

 

You may be on to something here....

BearNecessities:  everyone of the ballcarriers should drop at the 21, so we can play outside the red zone

 

I can’t believe no one answered. Of course not... unless you have sensitive neighbors.

the hellbilly: will anyone complain  if I step outside and scream obscenities at the top of my lungs?

 

In reference to Lovie’s half time report and his comments we get....

Allie:  not in modern football  he still thinks every game should be about field position and turnovers.  Which, ya know, is nice. But I’d rather have a guy who gave a darn (edit) about POINTS.

 

Spongie:  Heehee, Allie said "Darn" (edit) :-D

 

On a similar topic....

the hellbilly:  Please tell Lovie that the objective is not to suck. I don’t think he knows.

 

How the worm turned.....

SJS_illini:  Well shoot (edit)... Attention O-Line. Blocking is a good thing.

 

You know it’s bad when you get.....

leopoldjones:  have we pased the trade deadline yet

 

In answer to how our O-line looked.... I highly doubt it but.... well, maybe...

CloudyFuture:  My 5 year old cousins can do better….

 

When a question came up about the "tuck rule" we get a great new nickname...

BearingDown21:  You can thank Tom "Justin Beiber" Brady for that.

 

For a fantastic observation about changing up our O line we have this gem...

Allie:  Shuffling the chairs on the deck of the titanic may make you feel better, but it won’t change the fact that you’re still screwed (edit) (oh and Allie said "screwed" heehee).


In sheer frustration we get this surprisingly only once edited rant

CloudyFuture:  RUN THE FARGING (edit) FOOTBALL SOMETIMES MY FREAKING FRACKING FRICK IN FRACK!!!!  

 

I really enjoyed this...

Lovie’sMith:  This O-Line couldn't block Betty White!!!

Bl3ACH:  they would have 2 hold her

 

Pithy and clever.  Plus well timed but I can't bring back the moment.  And he’s Iowegian....

iowabear:  God Awful O-line  Pete and repeat were sitting on a wall, Pete fell off, who was left?

 

When asked how we were doing midway through the 3rd we get this great adjective....

SJS_illini:  Two words.  Offensively Sucktasteriffic.

 

Ummmm...what wank, or just the wanks in general? (and a rec to all for no innuendo)

Allie:  I'll be glad when that Cowboys/VIkings game is over The wank has been insufferable over "who needs it more".

 

And she continues with

 

Allie:  i'm rooting for a tie and at least 3 more showings of the football to the groin video where favre goes down like he’s been shot.

 

Pretty sure that’s not going to happen but nice optimism.....

Cosmis:  If there is a God then he will smite Mike Williams. for…having a generic name?

 

Nice show of frustration.....

the hellbilly:  I'm gonna start breaking furniture

Later

the hellbilly:  I"m just like, wow how the heck (edit) is this team sucking so much air (edit) all at once? I’m getting physically ill watching this display of fecal matter.

 

Well played......

T-Train: Oh, that's what a real rushing tandem looks like.  A power back and a finesse back. Who woulda thunk?

Spongie:  Oh, that’s what a real rushing tandem looks like

 

Or redheaded stepchild......

SJS_illini:  And Cut takes yet another shot.  Insert rented mule joke here.

 

Well, then, ummmm OK?

Maelvampyre:  my inflatable doll is going to need a vulcanizing patch if we lose this game

 

After a suggestion that we get Turner back we have this....

JoeCB1991:  I would rather shove my head up my buttocks (edit).

 

SpongieI would rather shove my head up JoeCB1991’s bollocks (reedit). And, believe me, neither of us wants that.

 

When someone questioned why we punted in the 4th.....(and it’s favor Spongie, favor)

Spongie:  Actually, I would be in favour of punting Lovie.

 

Nice nordic reference....

62bearsthebest:  I have my flaming arrows ready when you push the long boat out into the lake

 

Sorry it took me so long to realize Wanda was your blow up doll.  But these are a few of a bunch of funny posts....

Maelvampyre:  Wanda had just done her mr Bill imitation...…oh noooooooooo!I can’t watch.


Wanda is covering her eyes now...


we're back  I had to find a bicycle pump

 

And we end with the "voice of reason" summing up how we all felt....

Allie:  You overrate my reasonableness.

 

 

That's about it for this week people.  Nice work.  Please keep coming back for more or I'll be out of work.  Even when the Bears play bad you guys bring your best.  Join me again next week and hopefully we'll even have our academy awards section.....