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The Chicago Bears Should Sign Randy Moss Now!

CHICAGO - OCTOBER 24: Olin Kreutz can smell what The Rock is cookin'.  Can you?
CHICAGO - OCTOBER 24: Olin Kreutz can smell what The Rock is cookin'. Can you?

O.K. not really, but there has been so much speculation about this topic I thought it would make a catchy title.  However, if you began reading this article based solely on wanting to discuss the topic of signing Randy Moss I apologize.  You should now go read something else.  If you want to know why the Bears are losing games however, I think I have found the answer.  I should give a helmet tip to SJS Illini for his article "What's a in a Fan, Anyway?"  Good read.  I must warn you if you want a real, professional breakdown of your Chicago Bears go buy a newspaper or read something on WCG by someone not named David.  If you want my take, read on.

Many people on this site and others around the interwebs have delved into the reasons for the Bears struggles this season.  Several have questioned the play calling by Uncle Mike.  Many have wondered if our quarterback makes the goodest decisions. (Grammar be damned.) Almost everyone who can draw breath and gives a rip about Chicago sports will acknowledge that our offensive line is questionable at best.  But that isn't the real problem Bears fans.  Join me to find out what the real culprit is.

I've given this a lot of thought.   I've looked at game film of the games we won and the games we lost.  I've broken down footage of nearly every play and analyzed pages of statistics searching for patterns that would explain the reasons for our struggles, (Well, ok not really, but let's pretend I have for the sake of argument) I have read every article by Lester Wiltfong Jr. TWICE and I have come to the conclusion that I know what the problem is.  It's me.  

I'm the reason the Bears are struggling this season.  I think it started off when I picked the wrong jersey to wear the day of the Giants game.  Normally I grab a random jersey and go but that day I actually thought about what jersey to wear.  This obviously threw off the team mojo for the entire game as evidenced by the multiple sacks given up that night.  I think I added insult to injury (literally) when I kept screaming for them to pull Cutler before he got hurt which obviously led to the self-fullfilling prophecy of Jay Cutler actually getting hurt.  Again, a poor call on my part.  

Next came the Seahawks debacle.  This one is clearly on me and here is why.  The whole game I wondered who was going to step up and help out with the corner blitz.  I was too patient with the offensive line.  I didn't curse nearly loud enough and when I did it was at the wrong moment.   But my biggest mistake was begging them to get Greg Olsen more involved in the game. I kept shouting "Where's Olsen?"  over and over.  I think Mike heard me.  Greg Olsen showed up.  At tackle.  He was badly mismatched and we looked awful.  

But I think the Washington game is probably my biggest disappointment in myself.  Before the game I was saying to myself that I was developing an ulcer over professional football and I should just take it easy for a week and try to be a little less "me" for a game.  The game took place on my father's birthday.  I would be watching it at his house amongst family so what better day to try and remain calm and keep it in perspective.  I entered that game flat.  No emotion.  I didn't even check in to the in game thread (I know, I know).  I couldn't have messed with the team's "awesomeness vibe" any worse than if I'd donned Redskins garb and chanted "McNabb".  The team clearly picked up on the lack of emotion I was generating.  They reflected my level of fandom that day by playing just as flat and lifeless as I was acting.  

Well, no more of that and my digestive system be damned.  From here on out I'm bringing the fire every week even if it eats a hole in my stomach.  From now on out I'm doubling my efforts as a fan.  And I'm counting on you people to help.  Get involved in the "In Game" threads.  Let me know when I'm supposed to get angry and who's head I need to be calling for.  Make me the best, most effective fan I can be and I promise to use my powers for the good of everything Bears.  For the three losses?  I beg your forgiveness.  Mea Culpa.  But please make sure you join me next week because I need all the help I can get.  And so do the Bears.  (On a side note I'm also the reason why the Iowa Hawkeyes won't be contending for a national championship this year but that's another post for another site.)