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*Bill Swerski's Superfans Predict The 2010 Season (part 2)


If you some how missed part 1 click here so you can catch up.  And shame on you for missing part 1.

Bob - Welcome back.  As you can plainly see I am not Bill.  I'm his slightly larger yet better looking brudder Bob.
Carl - Bob.
Pat - Bob.
Todd - (frantically speaking) For the love of Ditka, where the hell is Bill?
Bob - Bill either has a bad case of gas or he's suffering from anudder heart attack, which ever the case may be it's in the hands of the paramedics now.  I'll be taking over for the remainder of this prediction special.  Much like the great 6th man Toni Kukoc of Threepeat number two fame...

All - Da Bulls!

Bob - ...  I'm coming off the bench to provide what ever we need.  And If what you need is a quick recap of the previous seven weeks picks, we'll provide that right now.  Bears.


Pat - Bears.
Carl - Bears.
Todd - Bears.
Bob - Bears.
Pat - Bears.
Carl - Bears.
Todd - Bears.
Bob - That's one too many Bears Todd.
Todd - For what?
Bob - Your 'Bears' was the eighth.
Todd - Eighth what?
Bob - Eighth 'Bears', so far we're 7 games into the schedule, up to 7-0, and yours was number 8. 
Todd - 8 what?
Pat -
Let's move on Bob.  (Bob, Pat, and Carl all shake their heads, Todd just looks confused) I'd like to make a bye week observation.  Had the NFL had a bye week in 1985, I think Mike Ditka would have used that time to go to Green Bay and visit the office of then Packer head coach Forrest Gregg and kick him square in the family jewels.  Why?  Why not.
Carl - I like it.  That would make a heck of a reality TV show.  Ditka traveling around the world kicking Packers or ex-Packers in the sack.
Pat -
Or maybe go all Paul Blart on them, and squirt some of Ditka's legendary hot sauce in their unsuspecting Packer eyes.
Carl - I would love to see some hot sauce shot into the eye of former Green Bay thug, Charles Martin.
Todd - I unequivocally hate that man.  I'd pony up $39.95 on pay per view for a show like that.
Bob - As much as I like the pitches fellas, we need to move this little shindig along.  In the 9th week Da Bears will travel to Toronto to play the Buffalo Bills, and with the extra long Canadian field Jay Cutler will shatter all single game passing records.  I see at least 800 yards through the air and minimum of 10 touchdown passes.  Book it.

All - Da Bears!

Bob - Week 10 and we finally get to play the Vikings, and we all know the little drama queen Brett Favre will be on the field.
Pat - Who?
Bob - (looks at Pat a quizzical look on his face)  Brett Favre?  Media darling and Wrangler Jeans pitch man?  He will for sure be the only story covered by the national media.  Instead of focusing on the no doubt about it 8-0 Bears, the national boobs will only want to talk about Brett Favre, Brett Favre, Brett Favre.
Pat - Who is the Brett fella you keep referring to?
Bob - (aghast) Brett Favre?  Mr. Pain in the ass to the Bears for the last however many years Brett Favre?
Carl - (surprised)  Oh!  Bill must not have told you.  Pat went to see a uh, what do you call it, a Hypnotisologist, and had all memory's of Brett Favre removed from his brain.
Bob - So he really has no idea who Brett Favre is?
Pat - Who?  Did the Vikings pick up some rookie?
Carl - He has no idea.
Bob - Good for him.  I like it.  And after old man Brett meets up with a Pisa Tinoyouknowwho, he won't remember his own name either!  Brett is broken, and Bears win going away, 48 - 2.

All - Da Bears!

Bob - Bears in Miami next and...
Todd - (interrupting) then Ditka could line up all those undefeated 1972 Dolphins and kick em square in the testicles.
Bob - While I can appreciate your enthusiasm Todd, we've moved on from the sack kicking portion of our show.  However if anyone has a way to make that happen I'm all for it! 
Carl - I predict we give our defense the night off for some clubbing on South Beach, yet win 74-21.
Pat - (astonished) Three touchdowns from Miami, are you kidding me?
Carl - Two words for you my friend.  Ricky.  Williams.  Any player Da Coach will trade an entire draft for has to be able to score a few touchdowns against no defense.
Bob - A plausible explanation if I ever heard one.

All - Da Bears!

Bob - The Eagles are next up, and I just don't like the color green on an NFL team.  We not only beat them on the field but we make them put on those horrendous blue and yellow throwup, er, throwback unis they wore last year so they can take their beating in a more embarrassing fashion.

All - Da Bears!

Bob - Traveling to Detroit next, and what do you think Pat?
Pat - I do expect the Lions to be much improved in 2010.  I can easily see them winning 3 or maybe even 4 games, but not this week, not against the mighty Bears.  I think Brian Urlacher will hit Matt Stafford so hard Eric Hipple will feel it.  Bears 66 Lions 6.
Carl - (shudders) You realize that equates to The Number of the Beast?
Todd - The Number of the Beast is 51, and it is retired by the beloved Bear.

All - Butkus!

Bob - Do the Patriots really want to play us?
Carl - Doubtful.
Pat - I predict a certain rotund, gap toothed, appliance nicknamed, defensive tackle of yesteryear will be activated for our goal line offense.  Fridge scores.  Bears win.  46-10.
Todd - If I may interject.  One other surprise activation, Jarrett Payton, son of the late great Walter Payton will get the call, and get a TD, for a final of 53-10.

All - Da Bears!

Bob - An easy win should be had with our trip to Minnesota, I see Chester Taylor scoring 4 times while Adrian Peterson fumbles 4 times, and with no Brett Favre...
Pat - (interrupting) Who?
Bob - Bears win in a rout, 99-0

All - Da Bears!

Bob - Another green clad team comes calling in the New York Jets.
Carl - Why do we have to play both New York teams?
Pat - Because we're equal opportunity ass kickers.
Bob - What is it with the green teams, having Godawful looking throwback uniforms?
Pat -
Quick fashion tangent...  All of the throwback wearing Eagles and all of the throwback wearing Jets vs. Todd.
Todd - Yeah.  (Todd puffs out his chest)
Carl - Huh?  Todd I love ya like a brother, but I think all those east coast football players would smash you like a bug.
Pat - Excuse me, but I did say "fashion tangent"...  All of the throwback wearing Eagles and all of the throwback wearing Jets vs. Todd...  who was wearing a Mike Ditka sweater vest circa 1985.
Carl - Oh, why didn't you say so?  Todd wins easily while wielding a power greater than Green Lanterns ring.
Bob - What is with the green today?  Next up the season finale...
Todd - (interrupting) We didn't give our Jets game prediction!

All - Da Bears!

Bob - As I was saying, the seasons ends on the frozen tundra of Green, ugh, Bay. 
Todd - I predict Bears 38 Packers 36.
Pat -  Are you kidding me?
Bob - Blasphemer!
Carl - Does this have anything to do with that couple from Oshkosh that fed you bratwurst last year when we visited Lambeau?
Todd - ... ... ... maybe?
Carl - Todd, you can't let your love for all things sausage cloud your judgment.
Todd - I promised I'd try and slip in a close prediction this year, and I did.  But now that that's outa the way.  Bears roll on 38-6.
Bob - 6!
Todd - Yes, one for each beer and onion smothered brat that beautiful, yet slightly delusional, Wisconsin couple gave me that day.  (looking directly into camera) And I'm coming back to Lambeau again this year Mildred, tell Ingamar to fire up the grill!
Bob - ...  oh well...  38-6 it is...

All - Da Bears!

Bob - I believe after running the table to go to a perfect 16-0, our Monsters of the Midway will go on and better the undefeated year of the Dolphins...
Todd - (interrupting) Then squirt some hot sauce in Larry Csonka's eye, followed by Mercury Morris...
Carl - (interrupting, and thrusting a sausage at Todd) Take this Italian sausage and let us finish the show.
Bob - I see no reason...  wait a minute I'm getting a text from Bill... (reading his cell phone)  "good news"
Pat - Whew...  it must have been gas.
Bob - "heart attack minor"
Pat - Or a heart attack.
Bob - "not nearly as bad as the last one, but a touch worse that the 3rd one, getting released in an hour or so, tell Todd to save some sausage for me, and keep the beer coming, I'll pick up a deep dish pizza on the way over to complete our spread"
Carl - That Bill...  (tearing up) always thinking of his friends...  Tell him to make it two pizzas with extra meat.
Bob - We'll that's all the time we have, hope you enjoyed our show, and Bear down.

All - Da Bears!!!