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What a difference a week makes: catching up on the best of the Lions & Vikings in-game threads

No game for our Bears this week, so this seems like a good time to catch up on the in-game threads that we missed in the week before the Buccaneers game. First up was a Monday Night night game at the resurgent Lions, followed by game against the ailing Vikings on the Sunday night. Jump to see your most entertaining comments from both, starting with the Lions matchup and the eleventy million false starts our offensive line were flagged for...

A commentator in the making?
Arbusto: I want somebody to comeback to the comment "If Stafford’s upright, 2 tds to Calvin Johnson" with "If Stafford’s on the ground, it means he’s been injured again."

I don't know which is better, the typo correction or the pun!
T.Moore: I used to like Gruden when he was with the Bucs . Now He’s unbareable
DaHamsta: Should I, oh what the heck. UnBEARable

I've never been to the Motor City, but I've seen Robocop.
Jonathan Thompson: Whenever an article starts with... "My fondest memory of Detroit is seeing the sign stating out of city limits…" I take that as a sign that the city is a massive [edit: dilfhole].

Pithy, sir. Pithy.
Kevin Marroquin: lol im out of here [edit: fudge] this
gafferland: I guess I don’t blame you. I mean, how can the Bears recover from this 0-point deficit.

There's money to be made here...
JoeCB1991: This game makes me want to have a picture of Jerry Angelo inside of my toilet so I can [edit: dilf] on his face

You harsh, woman.
jbragg: Please stop calling our linemen "blockers" that's clearly a term they don't understand.
Allie: gotta call em something and on basic cable they can’t get away with what i call them "Those fat [edit: love machines]"

Humour is but statement of fact...
Minds_Eye024: why would you run to their best defensive player each time?
gafferland: Why wouldn't you? -Lovie

I'll trust Allie on this. She probably pays more attention to Jay's personal life than than I do.
Jessica312: Jay needs to do his own thing. [edit: Fudge] Martz
Allie: I'm not sure that is his thing

Dulce et decorum est, pro Ursa mori.
Spongie: I hope nobody’s playing a "Bears Offensive Lineman False Start" drinking game tonight. There could be fatalities

With friends like these, who needs halftime entertainment?
Kev H: I tried so hard to get a nurse friend of mine to give me valtrex samples, so I could casually leave them in my buddies’ medicine cabinets
gafferland: When I lived in SF this crazy roommate moved out and we found a bottle in her room. We used to put it in people’s coat pockets surreptitiously at the bars. You haven’t experienced comedy until you’ve seen your friend quizzically pull out a prescription bottle of Herpes medication in a crowded bar.

Y'know, I thought there'd been less about Wanda than expected...
Jonathan Thompson: BEAR THE [edit: FUDGE] DOWN
Maelvampyre: i tried but my prostate is enlarged

Welcome to the WCG in-game thread halftime roundup!
JoeCB1991: Besides the Megatron TD, I am pleased so far
Doshi: 3rd and 1? 4th and 1? Challenge? Lovie Smith?

Things dropped off badly after halftime. Ditto for game thread funnies. Still: I, for one, would like to welcome our new inflatable overlords.
Maelvampyre: nausea is setting in
Allie: just now?
Maelvampyre: i'm becoming self aware

A foreshadowing of things to come...
DutchBear: Either Harris is still feeling his hamstring or he's just not a 92 overall Madden safety

Six days after the demoralising Monday Night loss to Detroit, we got to go up against the struggling Vikings. After 3,000 or so comments in the first game, only 1,850 were posted for the Minnesota game and the tone was much more fun overall, as you'd expect...

Motivational cat is motivational.
JoeCB1991: Cutler should throw the ball as hard as he can into the groin of anyone who lets him get sacked tonight. Maybe it will encourage them to protect him
Shuggs: No, that would be intentional grounding.
Spongie: Intentional groining.

We still haven't had an answer. Ménage à trois?
David in Maine: Game-time Checklist: Squirrels: Check. Lighter Fluid: Check. Lighter: Check. Mike Martz Voodoo Doll: Check. Emergency Patch kit for Wanda: Check.
BOBdaBEAR: Why do YOU have a patch kit for Wanda??? What’s going on here? I think a certain inflatable female has some serious explaining to do…
Spongie: Whoa, whoa. Jonathan Thompson’s disturbing at the best of times…
Jonathan Thompson: Oh herroooooooo
Spongie: Ah, so she doesn’t get rone-ree…
Jonathan Thompson: She never rone-ree when I'm around

What's better than an out-of-context quote that makes someone look like an awful human being? An out-of-context quote that makes a rival NFC North fan look like an awful human being, of course.
Robert Rence: Girl Hitler is hot.

F*** it, I'm going vintage.
crackedcactus: Sexy Rexy can stay at home in Washington. I like him right where he is.
CurtisEnisFan: So does the NFC East.

Does Wanda has competition?
Jonathan Thompson: I’ve got my Donovan’s Mom blow-up-doll buttered up and ready to go.

Speaking of whom, after we sacked McNabb in his endzone...
AussieCub: Safety! that might be challenged
Kev H: By Lovie?

David Taylor: Funny. We benched Harris and Merriweather, and we finally got a safety.

Barber scored on an easy short run. What a difference a week makes!
Spongie: I haven’t seen the Bears’ OL open a hole like that since they tried to pass block last week!

Whether you call it fibre (fiber) or roughage, it's good for you.
Doshi: Can't stop. This [edit: dilf] is AWESOME!!!

Call me biased, but I do think we have the best-looking base uniforms in the NFL.
David Taylor: I like our 2010 throwbacks! I just wish we’d break them out more than 7 or 8 times a year.

Down with this sort of thing! So to speak.
torch: If these Cialis commercials have taught me anything, its that if your wife is hot in her 50s, you’ll get ED.

Not as much as Jay does, sir. Not as much as Jay does.
wildbilly: I love to see Jay stepping up in the pocket. Hell, I love to see a pocket!

These two together are like a more disturbing version of Waldorf and Statler:
Maelvampyre: Virginia McCaskey is looking particularly fetching tonight.
Jonathan Thompson: Already hit it. Don’t touch my kool-aid bro

How did we miss this TWSS opportunity?
guy incognito: Let’s pound it down their throats this half.

Courtesy of ChiSoxRox, an amusing little cartoon about Lovie. It's funny 'cos it's true.

Just sayin'...
C-Razzle: With that Gould kick, I win my fantasy :)
Spongie: My fantasies usually involve less gridiron kickers and more nubile young women.

crackedcactus: Holy Crap, is Kluwe punting AT Lovie?
northernsails: wouldn't you?

No word on whether he rides the dog like it's a small horse.
Doshi: Well, my source of television goodness is being taken away from me.
juperee: Wait, are you that Etrade baby??!!?

And the final word goes to...
lmfsilva: Finally a game where it doesn’t seem I’m playing Tecmo Super Bowl against someone who’s looking at my controller. All. The. Time.

Next up: the Eagles. Whether or not we contain the NFL's own "Dream Team" [sic], we'll be sure to have fun in the in-game thread. See you there.