Caleb Hanie made his first NFL start for the Bears and lost to the Raiders: the best of the in-game thread

We may not have won, but that didn't prevent the faithful from making 2,225 or so comments for Caleb Hanie's debut as the Chicago Bears starting quarterback. Jump for your best!

From one of those random pregame discussions...
stepeo: i wear the pants! if football is on whoever is playing, i get to watch it. minds, when no football she watches what she wants
(3 minutes later)
stepeo: we are currently saying words (she just saw my post)

That's what NFL analysts are for: to share their knowledge with us.
lmfsilva: Today I learned... Keyshawn watches Lindsay Lohan movies.

That was, actually, what she said (but we all missed it).
awfullyquiet: Wright got that nice and tight.

Why is the NFL fixating on HGH testing when there're other shenanigans going on?
C-Razzle: I haven't seen Hanie get Orakpoed so we're still ok i guess.
whoyouthoughtiwas: Orakpo is a cheater. There is no way he has enough letters to make ‘neanderthal’.
VegasCubFan: that stupid neanderthal didn't even catch Orakpo's cheating. HAHA!
Allie: yes because that's what we take away from that commercial

His dedication knows no bounds.
BearNecessities: Qbs disgust Peppers
garyfencikrapping: if he played qb he would sack himself

Hands up, anyone apart from Stepeo who knows what a graverobber's gait is like?
stepeo: is it me, just watched Marinelli on the side-line. he has a graverobber's gait
dakoose: moves like the captain of a pirate's ship.

Perhaps it's merely because the game was so-so, but we sure seemed to spend a lot of time looking at the sideline...
Say Ramrod: This comment has nothing to do with the actual game. Jay Cutler has an incredible head of hair…
awfullyquiet: Really. For a blonde… It’s just so… There.
BOBdaBEAR: don't tell Allie
Allie: and killer green eyes
BOBdaBEAR: here we go

A lot of time. Probably better than watching what would happen shortly before halftime.
whoyouthoughtiwas: Caleb looks to have a hot sister.
Say Ramrod: The blonde? Yeah, not bad…
crackedcactus: it's his wife
northernsails: no, his wife is the redhead on the far right

The game couldn't finish quickly enough in the second half.
T.Moore: Why is the clock still going? He was out
Allie: everyone's trying to get the [Edit: fiddlesticks] out of Oakland before dark

Lovie doesn't win many challenges so perhaps that's how he celebrates?
David in Maine: Uh Oh.... Look out Mrs Smith!!!!!
whoyouthoughtiwas: she'll be safe. Lovie knocks himself out at night downing a bottle of nyquil.

Hollah!
Trey23: Ron winter is defecient[sic] in his intellegence[sic]

A few thoughts from NotJayCutler.
NotJayCutler: Best of luck to @CalebHanie12 today, but that doesn't mean my car is going to wash itself.
NotJayCutler: Thought about making the trip to Oakland today but I'm allergic to being stabbed.
NotJayCutler: Now that Matt Leinart is playing, who is going to spread crabs through jacuzzi sex?
NotJayCutler: Mark Sanchez should pretend his receivers are high school girls.
NotJayCutler: If only Hanie ran that fast when I want a latte.
NotJayCutler: My halftime advice to Hanie is two chicks at one time.
NotJayCutler: I just puked on my couch.
NotJayCutler: Yes, I brought my couch to Oakland.

Bonus: thoughts on Tebow from the recap thread. Well, when you put it like thaaaaat...
Where Triples Go to Die: why does everyone hate this kid?
gafferland: because he says stuff like “my love for Jesus is greater than any man’s love for his wife”
Where Triples Go to Die: that's kinky!


So, that's your lot for this week: we may have lost one but at least we're not the Eagles. Next up, a visit from the Kansas City Chiefs with the possibility of an appearance from Neckbeard. I'm anticipating a fair amount of Orton-related humour so be sure to join in on Sunday!