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Finally! My Bears Draft Analysis! Sorta.....

Is ANYTHING GOING to HAPPEN in the NFL this YEAR!??!??
Is ANYTHING GOING to HAPPEN in the NFL this YEAR!??!??

Well ladies and gents, here we are once again.  Not much is happening in the world of football and slightly less is happening on the Bears.  Jay’s gonna get hitched, we may have a new punter, we'd all like Olin back but.... yadda, yadda, yadda.  What I wouldn’t give for a big free agent acquisition or a monster trade in the NFL.  A major signing or a surprising player released.  On any team in the NFL.  Anything?  The lawyers are mumbling something about concessions and mediation and then we cue the crickets.... My 10 favorite things about the Bears draft after the jump.

1.  Stephen Paea.  Not just the player.  The name.  I love the use of vowels in the last name that keep it ambiguous and nearly clearly pronounceable. I love that the guy's a fellow Polynesian and finally he and Olin Kreutz can break each others jaws while they do some sort of spear dance around a volcano and then destroy the opposition.  I think they both need to host a joint barbecue for the team and start the season off in true luau fashion. 

2.  I love the trade up to get said player.  Shows some testicular fortitude by our own beloved Jerry Angelo.  Almost makes up for the incredibly botched "near trade" for nothing that they didn't make in the first round.  Funny how Jerry looked really smart for not being really dumb in hindsight.  Yep.  Funny.

3.  Our collective masterful use of the "5w’s and an h" (think journalism) in the drafting of Nathan Enderle in the 5th.  Follow me here.  I refer to; WTF was that? WTF are we thinking with this move?  WTF did we choose this guy?  WTF is he from?  WTF would we do this?  HTF does Jerry keep doing this year after year? (The letter "F" obviously stands for forget.  Thank you Cee Lo Green’s idiotic censors.  Oh, and ain't that some Shhhh.)

4.  Our 7th round pick.  I’m a being serious.  Harvey Unga (supplemental) may well develop into the kind of lead blocker we all hoped that the great walrus would be.  Unfortunately Manumanhesucks will probably still be the lead flopper on the field.  I’m hoping Unga will provide the type of full back that can really open some holes for Forte or come in in short yardage and actually get the first down unlike another free agent letdown.  *cough* Chester Taylor *cough*

5.  The trade we never made.  Absofreakingly brilliant.  By default.  Let’s have a stunningly absurd brain fart of a moment totally payoff when we got the player we truly wanted and never conceded a thing.  Remember, it’s always better to be lucky than good.  But funny how the harder you work the luckier you get.  I really wish that applied here.  

6.  The complete lack of free agency for UDFA’s.  This should give the Bears management some time to actually "consider" some options.  The more time the brain trust has to wallow, the better.  We may actually target some real talent this off season.  Unfortunately this also applies to every GM in the NFL so now it becomes a crap shoot.

7.  Jerry Angelo admitted he screwed up the trade.  That was honestly refreshing.  A poor action (lack of?) was taken (or not?) and he owned up to it.  Maybe his head coach should be taking notes.  Beats the crap out of "Trust me" with a finger wag.

8.  Gabe Carimi and how we got him.  But mostly Gabe Carimi. Enough said.

9.  The fact that we actually had picks every day in this draft.  That made this draft much, much more enjoyable as a fan.  Sometimes holding on to a pick just gives us entertainment value regardless.  

10.  The banter on WCG during the in draft threads.  One day they may actually come to light.  And one day the winners of the "pick ‘em" contest will receive their rewards.  One day. One day.....