Wild Card Weekend: the best of the CIN-HOU, DET-NO, ATL-NYG and PIT-DEN in-game threads

Plenty of people kicking around on WCG during the Wild Card games... we seem to like to rip on the Lions, and why not? See what you came up with after the jump.

Cincinnati 10, Houston 31

True.
David in Maine: Oooohhhh look... a WR that prevents an Int…..
frenchbears113: What sort of heresy are talking about?
BOBdaBEAR: Adriel. Jeremiah. Green.
frenchbears113: Sounds biblical and #1 receiver-ish!
David in Maine: Hey... the Bears have receivers that inspire religion too... Usually they make us scream "Oh God"….

Why not, indeed?
frenchbears113: I mean for God's sakes they let Canadians play football so why not midgets?

If I could, I would have WCG commentary in my games of Madden.
BOBdaBEAR: Time to test Andy's mettle here. 92 yards to go…to get within one score
T.Moore: Aaaaand INT

Detroit 28, New Orleans 45

I wish we could have that playbook.
lmfsilva: Detroit's playbook: The biggest compilation of phrases ending with "to Megatron" outside Transformers material.

Be fair, he was only looking to deal coke and dope!
David in Maine: FauxJohnMadden: Darren Sproles is a ball of speed. Not to be confused with what you could purchase from Sam Hurd.

There are probably a number of us who would also like to go back in time and smack Juperee in the mouth... er, in a manner of speaking.
juperee: i cant believe i thought it was cute a couple of years ago wheb the lions were starting to improve. I thought "well good for them." I'd like to go back in time and smack myself in the mouth for that one.
Beer Down!: I don’t think the draft was set up to be abused in the way the lions did it…

You don't get this sort of thing on EA Madden commentary!
lmfsilva : FauxJohnMadden: NBC should call his half-time segment "Bob Costas bitches about something pointless."

That would be quite entertaining sideline viewing.
tfrabotta: Schwartz about to have a brain aneurysm at any moment

Then again, who is?
tfrabotta: Nice Dunk. But he’s no McCown..

ECDS is spreading! :D
tfrabotta: Can't wait till we can use a TE next year
BearNecessities: And maybe even audible
tfrabotta: let's walk first before we can run... let’s block the DLine
BOBdaBEAR: and maybe, possibly keep Jay upright?
Beer Down!: You guys are way too optimistic =D

I can only hope LostInSTL doesn't become ElectrocutedInSTL...
LostInSTL: Sproles is everything that Wolfe was not!
tfrabotta: Cue DaHamsta
LostInSTL: Waitin for it... kinda like testing a 9V battery on your tongue!

More likely than not.
ECD: Sproles... Yet another player the Bears should have signed last year!
Digs D-League: They wouldn't have known what to do with him
LostInSTL: he wasn't injured... or being cut for bad play.

Oh, snap.
Just Dave: I want french fries with Inigo Montoya….
tfrabotta: Inconceivable!
Just Dave: Don't kill my father....
LostInSTL: prepare to die...
David in Maine: Wasn't that what Martz said to Jay at the start of the season?

No context provided. In many ways, I'm relieved.
lmfsilva: This sure gets the blood pumping... TO MY LOINS

I'm glad to have Just Dave back.
Just Dave: the rather rotund female in the corner appears to be ready to regale us with a merry tune….

Harsh, but NorthStarr has a point.
tfrabotta: POD claiming 28 uncalled holding penalties on the saints is the reason they are losing
Just Dave: Detroit fans are officially the worst in SBN.
iowaBear: as bad as the Iggles fans? that’s a race to the bottom right there!
tfrabotta: They deserve to go back to 0-16
NorthStarr: They deserve Matt Millen, again.

Taking one for the team?
Jessica312: what i would give to have megatron on our team....
TR MacReady: unspeakable acts

I wonder how many of their players live there in the offseason?
David in Maine: FauxJohnMadden: Have to feel for the Lions. It’s bad enough to lose. It’s even worse to have to fly back to Detroit.

Remember that saying about losing in sports not building character so much as revealing it?
tfrabotta: Some Guy on POD just wished the flood wiped out the superdome…

Atlanta 2 (!), New York Giants 24

I blame that "Cougar Town" series for this.
ECD: Is anyone interviewing Marc Ross, the Giants’ DPP right now? I think the Seahawks interviewed him last week, but other than that I’m not sure
Kev H: I don't know. Let me call and ask him. He said no.
GtM: did you tell him that it would be awesome if he did interview with us?
Kev H: Yeah but he’s still pretty mad at me for sleeping with his wife.
GtM: c’mon man, keep it in ur pants. we’re tryin to build a championship team here..
Kev H: That's the thing about these middle-aged women. I get older, they start to not look half-bad.

Why is Rocky's wife "Adrian"? Isn't the female version "Adrienne"?
Kev H: Realistically, the Packers don't gain that much from playing in Lambeau any more than the Bears do from playing at Soldier Field. For starters, they only play half their games there, and secondly, it’s not like they’re training like Balboa in Rocky IV - if it’s shitty outside, they’ll practice inside like most other teams.
iowaBear: They're also not playing Ivan Drago hopped-up on steroids!
David in Maine: Just a guy who LOOKS like he is....

And a few from FauxJohnMadden...
FauxJohnMadden: In Mike Smith’s defense, the QB sneak play almost always works on Madden.
FauxJohnMadden: Hakeem Nicks just did the Dirty Bird since the Falcon players apparently don’t want to score today.
FauxJohnMadden: Falcons coach Steve Martin: "We only need 12 safeties now guys! Don’t give up!"
FauxJohnMadden: 2-24 is not only the deficit the Falcons face right now, it’s also the projected passing line for Tim Tebow.

Pittsburgh 23, Denver 29 (OT)

A few fake tweets for your perusal.
FauxJohnMadden: Tim Tebow has a suspicious sore on his lip for being a virgin.
FakeRogerGoodell: Only Kim Kardashian puts more men in the box than this Steelers defense.
FakeRogerGoodell: James Harrison’s mother will lose her home when you see the size of this fine. #babyjeebus
FauxJohnMadden: Fun fact: Dick LeBeau is so old, he was actually present at the birth of Tim Tebow in Bethlehem.

You harsh, monsieur!
frenchbears113: That is the most pathetic pass defense I've seen all year and I've seen Zach Bowman play!

Now, this is how we're certain that Ike Taylor has absoltutely zero chance of improving the Bears.
ECD: So... anyone else think we should pass on Ike Taylor in FA?

After the Tebows win in overtime, we're left with this disturbing mental image...
tfrabotta: Josh McDaniels is at home watching with his pants around his ankles


What japery! See you for more witty banter in the next round of the playoffs.