Amalgamated highlights of the past two weekends' worth of playoff games. Jump!
Baltimore 20, New England 23
Whole lotta bad.
David in Maine: Steven Tyler with the National Anthem?
ChiTownSupremes: Steven Tyler is so bad it was making Ray Lewis cry.
I'm sure I read someone clamouring for him to be our OC...
WisBearsFan34: Is Ron Turner calling the plays for Baltimore???
Kev H: Cam Cameron. It is sorta the same thing.
Well, when you put it like that...
dsenchi: Bill belichick is less of a douche than I thought
T.J. Shouse: So he's what... Jock itch cream?
Is that like a Cleveland (or Cincinnati) Steamer?
lmfsilva: What a Bonehead. Or is it Woodhead?
frenchbears113: Either way, it sounds disgustingly sexual!
WisBearsFan34 : It's not like his name is Dutch-Rudder!!!
The brother claims I left the TV remote in the fridge once.
GtM: the most obvious spot. always forget to check there, gee golly
Steven Schweickert: Like leaving your keys on the table. Or like I’ve done before, in the fridge. Don’t ask.
frenchbears113: Strange as that is, I've done that before too
GtM: happens to the best of us
Steven Schweickert: Have you ever been texting someone and started frantically looking for your phone? … Yep.
Fake twitter roundup of the AFC Championship games, courtesy of David in Maine
FakeRogerGoodell: Flacco is spanish for “soft like bitch”.
FauxJohnMadden: Julian Edelman plays the “Kardashian” role for the Patriots due to his familiarity with many different positions.
FakeRogerGoodell: Joe Flacco is the egg mcmuffin of soft QB’s.
FauxJohnMadden: Tom Brady must have a concussion. That’s the only way to explain why you’d talk crap to Ray Lewis after a 2 yard run.
NotJayCutler: I’m thinking a sweet mustache is just what I need for next season.
FakeRogerGoodell: If Gronkowski can’t return then who’s gonna bang underage porn stars in New England?
FauxJohnMadden: In a few years Billy Cundiff will kidnap the Ravens mascot and Joe Flacco before Jim Carrey cracks the case
New York Giants 20, San Francisco 17
Come to think of it, has anyone seen her since?
C-Razzle: Cutler and Cav are expecting
BOBdaBEAR: don't. tell. Allie.
Frankly, the NFL should mandate this as part of the touchdown-scoring process.
Jessica312: I kind of think excessive celebration penalties are stupid. Why is it bad to be excited about a touchdown? I’d be doing the hammer dance out there.
A couple of the best fake tweets, with thanks to the contributors.
FauxJohnMadden: BREAKING – Roger Goodell plans to fine Dashon Goldson for that shot on his defenseless teammate.
NotGusJohnson: After those two #Niners collided, Roger Goodell hit the usual combo on his phone and FedEx sent another large fine to James Harrison.
FauxJohnMadden: Hearing Ed Hochuli have to explain the new overtime rules could be better than the actual game.
Highlights from the previous weekend's divisional playoff games.
That's pretty heavy...
lmfsilva: Wow. [Edit: Dilf] just got JaMarcus Russell heavy
Best of the fake twitter comments (with thanks to the contributors).
FauxJohnMadden: Saints with 5 turnovers today. Better known as a Rex Ryan snack
FakeRogerGoodell: The Saints have turned it over more than Kim Kardashian.
FauxJohnMadden: Jake Delhomme has to be happy that T.J. Yates learned how to throw a picture perfect interception under his tutelage
FauxJohnMadden: Aaron Rodgers missing a wide open receiver is almost as surprising as Joe Flacco finding one.
BradBiggs: Brandon Meriweather suddenly signed to play safety for #Packers?
TuckerMax: Id have more confidence in the Packers if Aaron Rodgers wasn’t constantly getting punked by random people buying insurance
I sense a theme...
chitown-tony: why dont the packers have cheerleaders?
David in Maine: They can't get outfits to fit cows....
WisBearsFan34: It's hard for them to graze once the tundra is frozen...
tfrabotta: Would you want to see 300lb women busting out of their uniforms???
JoeCB1991: All the cheese they eat makes them gassy. Don’t want that when they are jumping around
Zing!
Dils: I love that teams that value defense are mattering in the playoffs because this video game crap needs to stop
CloudyFuture: Lovie Smith... is that you?…..
And just because!
Final game of the season in a week and a half. See you there!