Bears 34, Cowboys 18: The Best of the In-Game Threads

"Whoops..."

A big game on the road against a playoff-calibre team and we crushed them. The commentators and analysts weren't always effusive with their praise, but what did our members think? The best of your jibber-jabber follows...

It puts the lotion on its skin...
chiguy8506: hester, pep, briggs or Jay-C. who to wear hmmmm
badsamaritan: Are you Buffalo Bob?

Slipping it in.
Dils: Forte better get 25 carries tonight. He’s the engine
bassist33: I'll take a good split between he and Bush. He might be ready, but it’s better to not overdo it right away. Besides, Bush adds a hole other dimension.
boydvv54: i see what you did there..

Sexy and he knows it.
beartopia: jay cutler clint eastwood lmfaoo
DaHamsta: I don't think Cutler talks to chairs...
ES46NE10: yells at turnstiles. close enough

Cheer up, perhaps the Mayans were right.
FreedomRide: C'mon, Bears: make it a perfect Week 4. Beat the Cokeboys!
crackedcactus: Perfect week 4 woulda had GB lose.
Doshi: Slackers and Queens won. It can’t possibly be a perfect weekend when that happens.
Kev H: But if the Vikes hadn't won the Lions would’ve won. That would’ve sucked more.
ES46NE10: meteor never comes through

That sounds like quite a humane method of execution...
Allie: I wish they’d rotate Oct around so it was “lets raise money for cancer research” month. Like, I’d like easier ways to donate to childhood cancers, instead i just get boobed to death

How does JoeCB1991 know?
JoeCB1991: That Resident Evil 6 logo in the last commercial break looks like a man blowing a Giraffe.

Sounds like it didn't end well!
Allie: i'm sure romo is a nice guy but something about his face makes me want to punch him….
DaHamsta: Matt Ryan seems more punchable to me. Romo not really
Allie: he sorta looks like my ex

I am Spongie, and I approve this message.
crackedcactus: SOB. Let's give them some Bush
badsamaritan: Sonuva Bush!

Matt Forte limped off after his first carry of the game.
tfrabotta: Oh God Matt I missed you...
Ditka's Stache: You'll miss him some more now

Makes a kind of sense, in a visual onomatopoeic kind of way...
Just Dave: What color do we wear for prostate cancer, Brownish green?
beartopia: Packers

Jay didn't get sacked on the first offensive play of the game, so...
badsamaritan: All told, this is the best start we've had on offense all year.
Allie: excuse me while i cry

I'm not sure that's exactly what he was after, but full marks for accuracy.
Chitownproduct: Man, where the hell has Bush been the last 5 years...
AngryGiant: Oakland

He caught three!
ES46NE10: This world where Kellen Davis can catch a pass frightens me
Kev H: To be fair, Kellen Davis catching a ball requires superhuman effort by Jay Cutler.

That's what $1.3 billion buys you.
JoeCB1991: Their stadium looks like a toilet bowl from above

A visiting Eagles fan was impressed with #15...
anuj: Ok, name a player. I want Brandon Marshall for the Eagles!
T.J. Shouse: No
T.J. Shouse: Wait, give us Andy Reid for Left tackle
anuj: Deal! Just remember he doesn’t like to run the damn ball so don’t run it his side.
T.J. Shouse: He just needs to pretend that the pass rusher is a pizza and eat his face.
anuj: If you offer him a cheesesteak, he will maul any DE for you

Because we're eternally childish.
runningman: This might be the first time that Bush didn't get penetration

And nary a ThorCo in sight.
ECD: Should have been a TD drive damn it, that “heavy” set is like trying to polish [Edit: dilf], you will never get a diamond, no matter how hard you try.
David in Maine: But if you try hard enough, you’ll get a Nickelback song….

I have no idea what this was about, but bassist33 gives good thread.
bassist33: Village People: Fun to open with a crack? Too easy

You don't get this quality of analysis from the studio crew.
JoeCB1991: That was Dez Bryant running the wrong route right? What a dumbass. He messes up so much for them.
beartopia: his security escorts must be snorting crack and clubbing with him
Allie: i still have no idea what happened. easiest nfl pick i’ve seen. not even a white shirt in the picture.
T.J. Shouse: Dez Bryant forgot to stop

He seems more jolly when fat.
beartopia: I can't see a skinny Rex Ryan I'm sorry. he needs to get fat again

Toking one for the team.
T.J. Shouse: Jezzus, go out for a smoke and come back to a Hester TD? What dimension is this?
ES46NE10: go out for another smoke. like nine of them

It's not a game thread without a discussion of Jay's hair.
Chitownproduct: Jay's hair still looks good, even without a doo rag. I’m jealous.
Kay Paradiso: Girls love the feathery hair. Seriously, I’m not going to say it’s not dreamy.
badsamaritan: For real, best hair in the NFL.
T.J. Shouse: He has a fluffer on the sideline
Just Dave: Do you actually know what a "fluffer" does?
T.J. Shouse: Yes, I do, and I still think he does.

Resident Evil 6 again.
T.J. Shouse: Really the corpse of Jason Witten returns to carve us up?

Yeah, let's not get carried away!
AngryGiant: Peppers could probaby throw a bomb, and catch it on the same play.
ES46NE10: he's not Patrick Mannelly, come on

A hypothesis worth keeping an eye on.
LostInSTL: I think Rob Ryan is 42 weeks pregnant and that’s why he’s so cranky!

A first for the BOTIGT posts: timestamps!
7:51 PM PDT Dane Noble: 4TH QUARTER OPEN THREAD, jump
8:07 PM PDT Bear Naked: oh my gawd i think dez ate a little to much buttered corn-on-the-cob before the game
8:10 PM PDT Bear Naked: oh mah gawwddd dat secondary…
8:13 PM PDT Bear Naked: oh mah gawwwdddd am i alone in this thread or what.. :’(
8:15 PM PDT Bear Naked: oh mah gawdddddd kellen davis feels like playing today
8:18 PM PDT Bear Naked: oh crap this is the thread for the 3rd quarter…
8:21 PM PDT mikej000: Fade To Black

Well, if he's eating for two...
T.J. Shouse: Rob Ryan fill your hole with a sammwich
ES46NE10: don't worry, he assuredly will

Shoulda given him the lottery numbers, too.
Cutler6fan8: Picked by Moore!!!!!
David in Maine: DJ Moore gets a pick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
crackedcactus: Damn you Spoilers! Dallas hasn't run the play yet!

But I already ate!
Cubfansince1957: RIP THEIR HEARTS OUT AND HOLD THEM UP AND EAT THEM IN FRONT OF THEIR WOMEN!

And a few favourites from fake twitter accounts...

@NotJayCutler
- Now that the regular refs are back, can we get some regular offensive linemen?
- Just challenged K-Cav to a farting contest and I lost.
- Mark Sanchez is going to be awesome in the UFL next year.
- If Jon Gruden is going to compare me to a movie star, I'd prefer Peter North.

@CoachLovieSmith
- Bummer. I am pretty sure I have won more challenges with the replacement refs than I have in the entire rest of my career.
- All y'all excited to see us [Edit: dilf] the bed in yet another national game??? #LovieDoesIt
- Oh sure, now Jason Witten decides his spleen is healed.
- People talk about a punt hitting the massive Dallas scoreboard, but wait till they see me hit it with a challenge flag.
- Sorry y'all. I was going to save that timeout until the 2nd half but Hester had his helmet on backwards.
- These announcers love Devin Hester's package like Jerry Jones wants glory holes.
- John Gruden looks like a puppet from Team America.
- I think Peanut might have more catches this year than Kellen Davis. #MNF
- I hate coming back to Texas because Sam Hurd keeps texting me to run a couple quick errands for him. #MNF
- I can't wait for the media circus when Chicago reporters find out Cutler was actually just crop dusting Mike Tice. #MNF
- That was literally the most alone Dez Bryant has been since the preseason. #MNF
- I know what ya'll thinking. Major Wright isn't injured yet and it's the 4th game of the year?
- We'll know how many Bears fans are truly present in Dallas when we hear how loud the cheering is when we get to the red zone. #MNF

@FauxJohnMadden
- Like not letting their QB get sacked 8 times in 2 quarters? RT @NFL_ATL: T.J. Lang: Packers discussed serious actions on flight from SEA
- The Victoria's Secret inside Cowboys Stadium will include bras from size "A" to "Rob Ryan"
- ACL injuries prevent you watching the game on your couch? RT @NFL_ATL: Jets coach Ryan hopes Revis is ready for Super Bowl
- Brandon Meriweather and Aldrick Robinson with the funniest injury of Week 4. http://bit.ly/PkOMOP
- Leave it to the Raiders to make Peyton Manning look like he's 25 years old again
- Even the real refs hate the Green Bay Packers.
- Pulling Aaron Rodgers helmet over his eyes is probably the best defensive tactic the Saints have deployed all season.
- Just because the Seahawks won last Monday with an interception, doesn't mean Tony Romo can too.
- BREAKING: Tony Romo just secured the Jets starting quarterback job.

Next up: Jacksonville on Sunday, in the last game for the Beloved for two weeks. Should be a good game, as Cutler squares off against the player who sparked off the whole "Jay Cutler quit on his team" garbage of a couple of season ago. I'm sure we'll be hurling abuse back in the game threads, given half a chance......