Bears 13, Lions 7: The Best of WindyCityGridiron's In-Game Threads

Our Bears beat down the Lions at home in a game that was far more comprehensively dominant than the final scoreline suggests. Our members beat down the Lions in the in-game threads, too. The best follows...

Technically, true...
Allie: best first drive of the year, finally
AngryGiant: You mean it was better than Indy? Cutler threw a TD pass on the 3rd play of the drive.
bassist33: To the wrong team!

Just getting started.
T.J. Shouse: that was a big hole
Just Dave: Naughty.

Why does Lovie burn timeouts?
Just Dave: He's just so darn unsure what to do with them. So he uses them randomly. Kinda like a drinking game. Every time someone says "fish" I’ll call a time out. Damned Marinelli and his obsessing with fishing.

Not sure what to say here.
Shuggs: Gang tackling....MUHAHAHAHA
Syndor: I watched a video with that same plot!

So that's why Hester's not getting kick returns in!
JoeCB1991: Kick it to him you cowards
T.J. Shouse: They're trying. Their special teams are just that bad.

I think that's a hieroglyphic for "a hole" (or a GregCouch-hole; either works)...
Geo4MVP: this is like a fantasy so far, watching our D and O clicking together…
bassist33: I know what the D is but what’s the O? Definitely getting the clicking together. giggity

After the traditional early use of timeouts...
leftcoastsoxfan: all will be forgiven if we can get this 1st down
leftcoastsoxfan: nope. eat poop lovie.

.....
leftcoastsoxfan: thats what i call a sack lunch
Syndor: Saw a video about that too.

Nothin' worse than a cold one in your lap.
torch: Am I the only one who stands for every Devin return?
T.J. Shouse: I would but I'd drop my beer and my pants
AngryGiant: You wear pants?
T.J. Shouse: no. They sit in my lap. I put my beer on them.

That leaves quite the mental image.
crackedcactus: Paea eats Stafford. Now he needs to learn to strip
suckmyditka: no thanks
bassist33: I'm in!

As if!
GtM: if brandon marshalk were a woman.... I would make love to him
T.J. Shouse: What if you were just really drunk?
MidWayMonster54: Thats all it would take for me .......
suckmyditka: he's very attractive
Dr. Handsome, D.D.S.: Ha! As if Jay would let you hit dat!

Not nearly, Allie. Not nearly.
Allie: have we landed on a Forte nickname that doesn't suck yet?

Hey boys!
crackedcactus: DAMNIT. SLants Mother[Edit: Martz]ing Slants. Where are they?
T.J. Shouse: Thats racist

But would you let him broadcast from there?
Midway Bully: Berman's voice keeps going up and down, and changing. sounds like a bootleg autotune
JoeCB1991: I want to see Berman autotuned now
T.J. Shouse: I wanna see Berman shot into space and left there.

Harsh.
crackedcactus: Holy [Edit: dilf] is Jay hurting. Throwing it like Matt Stafford

The Bears received the second half kickoff, punted to end the drive, Logan fumbled the punt catch, Bowman recovered, and Bush was running it...
7:24 PM PDT Dane Noble: 3RD QUARTER THREAD JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP
7:29 PM PDT Bear Naked: Bowwww mannnnnn On with the show, damnnnnnnn
7:30 PM PDT Bear Naked: Oh may gawd You think I would learn after what happened last time….

Whoa.
Kay Paradiso: I wanted 7 guys inline and pound it.

Awkward.
Bullforlife: POUND THE BUSH! POUND THE BUSH! POUND THE [Edit: MARTZING] BUSH!
bassist33: I hope you weren't yelling that out loud while typing it.
Bullforlife: I was and woke up my neighbors I think...
bassist33: Welp, looks like you're moving again.

I'm surprised Snydor didn't chip in with another comment about videos.
Ditka's Stache: Are we gonna let these [Edit: GregCouch]holes stay close the whole game?

I don't think we heard from Bear Naked after that...
JoeCB1991: Pick 6 would be nice
Bear Naked: I could use a pick 482918583939384848838929292999999999999999
T.J. Shouse: Seizure? Nap? Cat?

Allie wasn't wrong.
75bearsfan: Can we stop allowing the 15 yard run up the middle?
Allie: don't worry it'll be 10 minutes before detriot even thinks about trying again. they’re not real bright

I'd watch that. Also, I miss MASH.
ECD: Now everybody is getting hurt. I swear this is a bad episode of M.A.S.H.
T.J. Shouse: is Schwartz in a dress?

A kinder, gentler Allie?
Allie: something’s happened with Lovie: i’m barely even irriated with him this year!

Zing!
Just Dave: Bush one tackle away from greatness.
NormalFan: Can't blame the guy. Anyone would tackle Bush before it goes all the way for the other team…

That's how we roll.
runningman: I've been waiting all day to see Devin Hester's package. But everyone else just wanted to see Bush.

Brian Urlacher's been to Paris. HEY-O!
northernsails: ...WHY...ARE...WE...PASSING!?
Sparky The Barbarian: eight in the box. and no, that is not the title of Paris Hilton’s new movie.

Yeah. It sucks.
DaHamsta: Earl is a pearl
Allie: he's a festering mollusk of a nickname?

Today's a Tuesday!
MidWayMonster54: AA
BOBdaBEAR: AA to u too
MidWayMonster54: Yeah not sure what happened there .....
AngryGiant: that's on tuesdays


And a few from fake Twitter accounts...


@NotJayCutler
- This offense would be so much sicker if Mike Tice would let me shotgun a beer every first down.
- More like Helen Keller Davis.
- The only head injuries I suffer involve teeth.

@CoachLovieSmith
- Depends how many they throw. "@TimboSlice4lyf: How many times do you think the team will give up an easy slant route?"
- I'm gonna be conservative and say 11. "@iTrainNarwhals: how many picks is the defense gonna get?"
- "2 timeouts, 1 quarter" is my favorite video on the internet.
- I just overheard Megatron call Stafford "Madden Curse" on the sideline.
- Detroit is the team that keeps on beating itself... You know... When their opponents aren't beating them.
- If Pettigrew's hands get any worse he can play TE for the Packers.
- Next time someone misses a special teams tackle that badly, I will take them out back and put them down like a race horse.
- That closeup of Stafford was his 2012 season in summation.

@FauxJohnMadden
- Jay Cutler is happy and smiling on the sideline - he clearly has a serious concussion.
- Well it didn't take long for the Lions to resume being the Lions.
- Lions lose Nate Burleson for season with broken leg .. Madden Curse still a bit rusty.


Next up, we host Chico Rivera's Panthers in an early game on Sunday in what will no doubt be billed as the battle of the sulking QBs. Jay better be smiling after the game and WCG will be there!