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Arguing with Packers Fans 101

I'm spending my summer up here in the wonderful Northwoods of Wisconsin. The lovely forests, placid lakes, and rolling rivers make for an excellent set of surroundings, but there is one drawback: Packers fans. Take a quick stroll below the fold to get my advice gained from years of experience bellying up to Wisconsin bars on how to deal with one of the more obnoxious fanbases in professional sports should you choose to engage them.

Here's my simple four-step method that has kept me from getting roughed up or tossed out of any establishment despite being a certified FIB*.

1. Be willing to admit the obvious

Yes, the Packers have won more Super Bowls. Yes, Aaron Rodgers is better than Jay Cutler. In other news, the sun rose in the East today. If you're itching for an argument, better to pick a battlefield where there is actually a topic worthy of debate

2. One word: scoreboard

If you're going to concede the greatness of Rodgers and the Packers' championships, you should also mention that the Bears have the most wins in the NFL and that we currently enjoy a healthy advantage in the head-to-head contest against the Pack. Championships are nice and all, but history gives the Bears a clear advantage most other categories. There is a reason it's the marquee rivalry in the NFL - the Bears and Packers are the top two franchises in the history of the league. Unforunately for Packers fans, the Bears have a leg up on the Pack in most measures of success.

3. Just wait for them to say something stupid

If Bears fans are eternal pessimists, Cheeseheads are the exact opposite. I actually ended up spending ten minutes aruging with a guy who was attempting to persuade me that Jordy Nelson (2,500 yards over four seasons, 21 TDs, no Pro Bowls) was a way better receiver than Brandon Marshall (6,200+ yards over six seasons with 34 TDs, 3 Pro Bowls, holds NFL record for most receptions in a single game with 21). Crazy talk to anyone with a brain, but cheese curds do strange things to your mind. Once they drop a doozy like this one on you, you can always just start laughing in response.

4. Packers best team in the NFL? No.

If you talk to any Packers fan long enough, they're going to try and drop this one on you. Unfortunately for the Packers, however, they are simply not in the same class as the Giants, Steelers, and Patriots - teams that have had recent runs with multiple Super Bowls to their name. The Pack had a good regular season last year, sure, but one-and-done in the playoffs a best team in the NFL does not make. You can start talking about how the Pack are the best team in the NFL when they have something to back up that talk with. If they try this line, just mention how they got run over by the Giants and wait for the excuse-making to start.

If all else fails...

If you're in a bind and things are getting iffy for you, you can always change the topic to, "Man, *&$# the Vikings/Lions." If you are talking to multiple Packers fans, just drop in the claim that Favre was way better than Rodgers will ever be and watch them start to tear each other apart. In fact, I highly recommend this latter option - it's quite entertaining.

Feel free to share your stories of obnoxious Packers fans and how you have gotten them to shut up in the comments.

*Rumored to stand for something unfit for anything but an open thread, I have always understood this acronym to mean "Friendly Illinois Brethren"