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Bill Swerski's Superfans Predict the 2012 Season (Part 2)

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Editor: Just in case you missed part one, here's the link so you may catch up on their predictions and all the engrossing Part 1 plot lines. Enjoy the show.

Joe_20mantegna-bill_20swerski_mediumBill - Welcome everybody to the conclusion of what has become the number one segment on Windy City Gridiron, Bill Swerski's Superfans Predict the 2012 Season. And with us for this concluding episode is my favorite brother Bob Swerski...
Bob - Bob here.
Bill - And our fellow Superfans; the always dapper Pat Arnold...
Pat - Hi there.
Bill - The ever diligent Carl Wollarski...
Carl - Hello.
Bill - And the slightly confused Todd O'Conner.
Todd - And that's an understatement.
Bob - Bill, we'd all like to welcome you back to da show!
Carl - You've gotta tell us, how did you beat the rap?
Bill - My friends, you know in Chicago there's always a way. I'll just say that if the Illinois State's Attorney is enjoying da Bears preseason opener in slightly better accommodations than he otherwise thought, it's purely a coincidence. Now let's get on with the show.
All - Da Bears!!!


Bill - Before I get into our highly accurate Bears predictions, I'd like to thank Bob for helming da ship whilst I was otherwise occupied and it's great to be able to have him here with us for da home stretch of our show.
Bob - Tanks brudder...
Pat - The 5 man show is a bit harder to pull off, but with our combined experience in da game I believe we'll make it work.
Carl - Considering working with Todd is like working with a big dumb animal...
Pat - (interrupting) A big dumb animal we love.
Carl - Agreed. But I'd say we should be more than receptive to an extra body around da table today.
Todd - Gentlemen, before we forge on, I'd just like to say... Wait a minute, when did Bill get here?
Bill - We lova ya buddy... And it's come to my attention that even though Bob did an admirable job in Part 1, that we inexplicably forgot to predict a few of the games. So for those few games that we failed to get around to, allow this to be our saving grace. Da. Bears.
All - Da Bears!!!
Todd - Was there ever any doubt?

Bill - And that takes us to week 11, and our beloved will make the trip to San Francisco for another Monday Night Prime Time contest against the always tough 49ers.
Bob - You know the 9ers are coached by a former Bear.
Carl - Wait a minute, John Harbaugh took over for anudder former Bear in Mike Singletary. Two ex Bears were the last two hires by their ownership. I believe they are trying to tap into da Navy and Orange synergy and confuse da football gods.
Pat - God. Singular. And Mike Ditka doesn't get confused.
Carl - You are correct, what was I thinking.
Pat - I predict Da Heavenly Father will strike down upon the 49ers with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my Bears brothers by making them don the scarlet and gold. And you will know his name is Ditka when he lay his fingers upon thee. Bears 41, San Fran -7.
All - Amen!!!

Bill - Next up da Bears return to Soldier Field for a week 12 game versus the rival Minnesota Vikings, and in a scheduling quirk the Bears will also play the Vikes in week 14.
Bob - What a fortuitous stroke of scheduling luck. I see no other outcome than da Bears physically dominating the Viking in week 12, leaving them battered and broken, with no other choice than to forfeit that week 14 game. Let's call it; Bears 73 and Minnesota 0 for week 12 and da Bears by forfeit in week 14.
Todd - You know that technically da score of dat second game would be Bears 2 and Minnesota Zero.
Carl - Well done Todd, well done.
Todd - Ironically that's also how I prefer my steak...
Carl - I see...
Todd - Well Done! Get it?
Pat - Yes, we get it, but my concern now turns to week 14, and with no Bears on what will I watch?
Bill - There's this, and of course you can never go wrong with this.
All - Da Bears!!!
Todd - Times 2!

Bill - Between the two Viking wins da Bears will host a Seattle Seahawk team that recently signed Terrell Owens.
Pat - I can remember when a certain team, that plays in a certain greatest city in da world, had their own wide receiver issues.
Carl - It seems so long ago.
Pat - I actually feel sorry for the Seahawks, having to scrape the bottom of the wide out barrel to find someone that can catch passes.
Bob - Actually Matt Jones would be the bottom of the barrel.
Carl - True, Bears win 200 to -81
All - Da Bears!!!

Bill - Next up our Bears will be visited by the Pack.
Bob - And what do ya know, da Bears are coming off the forfeit game and will be well rested to deliver a Doug Plank style smackdown on Green Bay.
Pat - I predict a defensively dominating game by the D, with Brian Urlacher pick sixing Aaron Rodgers. With rookie Shea McClellin picking up his 14th and 15th sacks of the season. With Charles Tillman stripping his 35th ball of his career, thus passing the Sackman Richard Dent for most forced fumbles in team history. And Lance Briggs picking up about 37 tackles. And Chicago coasting to a 62 point victory.
All -
Da Bears!!!


Bill - Do you realize that our Monsters of the Midway will be sitting pretty at 14-0 at this point of the season, with home field advantage throughout da playoffs locked up, and a trip to Arizona staring them in the face for week 16.
Bob - That sounds like vacation time for da Bears.
Pat - I think the Bears will allow the players families to make the trip this week, and have some fun in da sun.
Carl - And allow the starters to have Sunday off.
Pat - If the Bears second string defense can't give fits to Kevin Colb...
Carl - I think it's pronounced Kalb...
Bill - I thought it was Coalb?
Bob - No, it's spelled K O L B, but I think the L is silent and it's pronounced Cob.
Todd - Wrong, I think his quarterbacking talent is silent and it's pronounced "Oh My God, I have to play Da Bears, so please put in dat Jack Skellington guy"
Bill - Either way it's da Bears in a rout.
All - Da Bears!!!

Bill - Week 17 and our boys will finish off da season in Detroit. What an exciting way to finish off the year. Detroit...
Carl - I think in lieu of an actual game, because lets face it, at this point no one would like to see the Bears travel to the Detroit Department of Corrections to face the Lions, I think it would be a great idea for Bears head coach Lovie Smith to have a cage match with Lions H.C. Jim Schwartz.
Bob - UFC Octagon cage or WWE cage?
Carl - How about the old school blue WWF cage?
Bill - That works.
Bob - I'm all for Lovie, but that Schwartz sure has da fire and passion. He's a d-bag, but he's one Hell of a passionate d-bag.
Todd - You know what they say, it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for...
Pat - I picture Lovie Smith like a silent assassian, ala Sho Kosugi the famed Ninja actor of the 80's. Just laying in wait for Schwartz to make a misstep.
Carl - Or he could attack him with a Harbaugh-esque Handshake of Doom.
Bob - Rough handshakes really do piss Schwartz off.
Bill - Or was it the Overaggressive Pat on the back that did Schwartz in?
Pat - I think a combination of the two, so I predict as the two approach each other in the blue steel cage for the opening handshake that Lovie will execute the Handshake / Pat combo then just walk away as Schwartz cries about the rough treatment. Game, Set, Match, Da Bears.
All - Da Bears!!!