Bears 41, Colts 21: The Best of the In-Game Threads

OK, the Colts aren't world-beaters, but you can only play the team that's in front of you, right? They say good teams dominate the teams they're expected to dominate, and dominate them we certainly did. What did our members make of the game, though? Sure, you could read all the comments in the discussion threads, but the instant and possibly drunk thoughts have their place. That place is after the jump.

Pamela Hand?
dsmikey: My Balls Tingle. The only thing more exciting than the first game of the season, is the first time you sleep with a supermodel.
emdub: Trust me. It never gets easier.
emdub: Er harder. You know what I mean.

Hopes are always high as the season kicks off.
emdub: HERE WE GO BEAR DOWWWWWN!
frenchbears113: LET'S DO THIS THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JoeCB1991: The season has begun!
Allie: well that was a great start
CurtisEnisFan: Yeesh

Ah, yes. The Missing Pass-blocker formation.
@FauxJohnMadden: The Bears open their season with a tribute to Mike Martz by allowing Jay Cutler to be sacked on the first play.

Honestly, TWSS.
Kay Paradiso: Now, that was some penetration...

This was before our second offensive drive started.
CurtisEnisFan: Maybe we just needed to get that one out of our system. And by “that one” I mean poor Kick Off Return coverage, false start, sack, and incompletion.
Spongie: Uh-oh. We haven’t thrown an interception or fumbled a ball away yet.

You're lucky Allie didn't riot, fella...
Just Dave: Jay looking ugly

Finally, a solution to an Earth-asteroid collision situation based on reality.
leftcoastsoxfan: Robbie Gould for president…. OF THE WORLD!
C-Razzle: Mannelly?
lmfsilva: Mannelly can be the secretary of defense. If there’s an asteroid in collision course, he’ll just snap the atomic football right into it.

No fatalities?
Allie: i caused a 4 cart pile up in walmart trying to walk and text. it was ugly

Has that line ever worked? It has now!
pierzynskirules: did it hurt?
Just Dave: When I fell from heaven? A little.

Four's a crowd...
DaHamsta: Jay takes Earl for a whirl
BOBdaBEAR: Kristin no like

...but two is cosy.
Gromowicz: Am I alone on this thread?
Just Dave: I'm here for you

awfullyobscene
Kay Paradiso: Forte is obscene.
Maelvampyre: kinky!

We felt better once the Bears' offense got going...
emdub: And Stafford intercepted AGAIN!
Bears-Cubs Bulls: excellent. the afternoon is improving by the second

It was worse than even I feared.
Maelvampyre: D needs to make Luck a lady...
Spongie: Wait, have you put an Andrew Luck jersey on Wanda?
Maelvampyre: Wanda's wearing an Andrew Luck gstring

In all the excitement about Marshall, someone's forgotten about Juaquin Iglesias and Jarron Gilbert...
Allie: 2 3rd round picks never looked so nice!

A good one is still worth including.
JoeCB1991: Wow. How did he fit that one in there
BOBdaBEAR: TWSS

Playing chess?
Allie: is this what it feels like to have an offense? because i feel like cackling maniacally
Maelvampyre: hmm, well, that's not what I feel like doing... later, Wanda, later…

This was actually quite apt at times.
torch: I'll say it: “Greatest Show on Painted Dirt!”

Weird, right?
lawyeti: did he just say "There are so many skill position players on this bears offense"

Oh, all right. Another one.
Gromowicz: Bush is OK but i think Forte would have done more on that draw.
frenchbears113: He's shiftier in tighter spaces
David in Maine: TWSS!

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?!!!!!!!!!!
BOBdaBEAR: ...not that you can have experiences from the future, but..
Spongie: I was recently talking to someone with a PhD in cosmology or astrophysics or somesuch who said she’d worked on a paper which proved that time didn’t exist. I didn’t ask any further questions in case she messed with my mind any more than she already did.
BOBdaBEAR: technically, it doesn't. it’s something we’ve invented to keep track of our passage through life…
Kay Paradiso: Yes and no. You can’t prove that motion exists without time.
Spongie: Not if it’s the fourth dimension, which I thought it was. Then again I know another chap with a PhD in mathematics who does stuff on between 8 and 13 dimensions, while I’m sitting here watching grown men smash into one another for possession of a ball, so…
Kay Paradiso: Spongie. We're going to out kick our coverage if we say anything further.

Jim Carrey's new film: Disturbing & Disturbinger.
Kay Paradiso: Chris Conte... Almost with his pick 6 there.
Maelvampyre: Conte is wearing a harness... settle down, wanda

Several possibilities, all of them entirely appropriate.
Allie: my cable box keeps trying to die on me. seriously comcast get it together here!
Shuggs: At least you receive Comcast. My antenna is Roy Williams here.

Ouch.
Jessica312: Cutler hit that dude in the helmet. Surprised he didn’t leave with a concussion

Allie clearly wasn't in the game thread for the post-Browns game "group hug session". I've already said too much.
Just Dave: CBS pushing women's tennis during a football game. MASSIVE FAIL
Allie: yes because heterosexual men must really hate watching pretty women in short skirts!

To be fair, you can understand why you'd ask that.
Duck99: Bears had 20 first downs in the first half. Is that a misprint?

Heh.
mac30: where is forte?
Just Dave: Holding out for a second half contract

Covering all the bases....
B.B.BH: Forte for the TD. Am i that drunk?
pierzynskirules: no
frenchbears113: Probably
David in Maine: Yes!

It's a new dawn, it's a new day.
beartopia: the commentators just said the other team needs to double team our wideout. I cried

Never let it be said that WCGers are an unappreciative bunch. We're also generous to opponents.
I.AM.miSTAKen: I'm really starting to like Donald Brown
GtM: He has been a big help today. Not for his team, but a good helper is a good helper, and I appreciate that

TWSS? No, wait. Ewwww.
frenchbears113: That was a floater come on guys

And possibly painful.
lmfsilva: "more hood action" sounds either dirty or illegal

Well, that'd do it.
I.AM.miSTAKen: have they always had the 3rd challenge rule? I know I smoke alot but damn how have I never noticed that rule before?
lmfsilva: well I don’t think Lovie ever got two challenges right in a game. In a season, maybe, Maybe.

No Wanda.
CurtisEnisFan: Just a specimen.
bassist33: Now? Here? I usually need some type of video or magazine to help me with that.

With thanks to David In Maine and C-Razzle and anyone else who threw in twitter updates...
@FauxJohnMadden: Mark Sanchez re-acclimates himself with his favorite receiver: a defensive player.
@FauxJohnMadden: Researching to see if the Madden Curse includes “throwing two red zone interceptions against the Rams”
@FauxJohnMadden: Matthew Stafford still trying to figure out what color jersey Lions are wearing today.
@FauxJohnMadden: “GO DAD GO!” – All 107 of Antonio Cromartie’s kids cheering during Cromartie’s pick six.
@FauxJohnMadden: “You guys want Kevin Kolb back?” – Ken Whisenhunt to Andy Reid after Vick’s pick six.

@CoachLovieSmith: Turns out our goal line woes were actually entirely Matt Forte and Chester Taylor.
@CoachLovieSmith: Also, for all of you who drafted Matt Forte in fantasy this year I just want to say, you are so [Edit: Martzed] on goal line carries.
@NotJayCutler: If I'm the '72 Dolphins, I'm worried about the Bears. I'm also probably having a stroke.

A short turnaround this week as we visit the Packers in Cheese Country on Thursday night. Will our Bears be able to race into a 2-game lead over our bitter rivals? We'll find out in a little over two days.