Bears 23, Rams 6: The Best of the In-Game Threads

"Just the one roast pig for me, thanks."

I have to hand it to WCG, you were outstanding this week. I was chuckling a lot going through the 2,500 or so comments. On to the best!

Props to the Orange Shy Guy for remembering his game thread history.
frenchbears113: My damn cable and internet still havent been setup so I have 90 minutes to figure out how to watch this game...... Damn TWC!
DaHamsta: Raid a Friend's house
frenchbears113: I was planning on raiding my girls parent's house
Steven Schweickert: You're supposed to be getting her to and from the airport.

Oh, you can.
CloudyFuture: have to use the iPhone to post in game thread…..Wife using PC to play SWTOR…..
JoeCB1991: I wish they would have made KotOR III instead...
MidWayMonster54: Its Star Wars though , so can you really go wrong ?
lawyeti: mesa think you can

They'll never expect it!
Just Dave: Play action! First play! lets get creative!

I hear it's pronounced St. Louie...
chiguy8506: anyone else have a good feeling right now
lawyeti: yes but i just left stl an hour ago so that might be it

Needs no comment.
T.Moore: Face full of Bush for you!

No context given.
frenchbears113: What was that?
C-Razzle: J'Marcus wanted a pizza.

frenchbears is a harsh taskmaster.
LostInSTL: David catches a pass!!!... We’re going to the Super Bowl…. woooohooooo
LostInSTL: or Davis...
frenchbears113: He hasn't earned the right to be called by his actual name

Heh.
Just Dave: Marshall is dangerous with balls. Yes he said that.

Gives them a shove for extra impetus. Can't remember who pointed that out.
lmfsilva: was that Webb blocking another pass rusher into cutler AGAIN?

You'd think there might have been a game on, too!
CurtisEnisFan: I know I’m late, but I still have 50+ full minutes FOX’s closeups on Jay Cutler’s every breathe/facial expression. Let the games begin.

A query sadly left unanswered.
C-Razzle: If we can't get sacks from Hunter, we're in trouble.
Just Dave: ?

Bow-chicka-wow-wow.
crackedcactus: Feed blockier then 56k porn
Kay Paradiso: It's next to impossible to watch videos on 56k. Trust me. I try.

I'm wondering the same thing!
ECD: Great penatration on that play
memlarry: 56k porn and great penetration. What's up guys?

That actually sounds kind of fun.
crackedcactus: Kinda hard to tell who moved first when both lines look like Minecraft charecters

Bad timing.
Just Dave: Orakpoed. Its another word for injured.

Can't argue with that.
Kay Paradiso: Webb got bulled something awful.
ES46NE10: Webb is something awful

Yet another reason to dislike Stafford?
ES46NE10: going up against bush doesn’t matter since I started Matt Stafford who apparently wants to net me zero points this year, the turd

We'd all like more of that.
Ditka's Stache: Give the balls to Bush

Oh, snap.
David Taylor: The end around is the perfect play for Hester. He’s proven how good he is at running sideways.

Blasphemy! Stone him!
CurtisEnisFan: I just swore to every deity I could think of.
ES46NE10: i didn't hear from you. what gives?

Someone who wasn't watching the game would believe it. As would those who were.
C-Razzle: Did Jay punch out that ball?
jmvda: no... he was punching Webb

Heh.
LostInSTL: "How do you feel about your offense's execution?" “I’m in favor of it!”…

WCG game thread halftime movie reviews.
boydvv54: Why does the Liam Neeson keep taking his family to [Edit: martzing] Istanbul!!! Doesn’t he know they’re just gonna get taken…..AGAIN!
CurtisEnisFan: He's a terrible parent.
LostInSTL: Maybe he DOES know... and takes them anyway…
Just Dave: He has a particular set of skills? And he wants to use them?

Exactly that.
CurtisEnisFan: Bush needs to get up the field on that dump. This is where I’m like, “Ok, we know you want to be known as an all-around back, but there you need to use your force x acceleration and get the F upfield.”
ES46NE10: that's exactly what is going through bush's head word for word

I sense a lack of faith in J-Webb. It's faint, but definitely there...
LostInSTL: WOW... J Webb blocked on that Marshall play perfectly!!!!!!
CurtisEnisFan: #HOPE
FtWayneSoxFan: Normally he just yells LOOK OUT!
Just Dave: Blind squirrel, nut
boydvv54: #fluke
CurtisEnisFan: #WithTheHelpOfTheNation

You ask for specific, you get specific.
beartopia: Webb is garbage omg. Gets pushed back everytime
Kay Paradiso: That's part of being a Tackle. Be more specific.
beartopia: he looks like an uncoordinated headless chicken on every play whether we execute or not

The more you know.
Kay Paradiso: Insofar as Webb. He’ll get beaten inside sometimes, especially by fast guys who can swim over him (which isn’t the easiest thing if you’re small, Quinn isn’t small).
frenchbears113: How do you explain the constant mental lapses?
Kay Paradiso: That is the constant mental lapse.

A cunning plan...
crackedcactus: Can we gets play360 kid in as LT?
Edward_Thefirst: absolutely nobody would hurt a kid, at least not in national television. get the little blonde one out there

A cunninger plan...
ES46NE10: nothing stupid here please
FtWayneSoxFan: Double reverse pass from Hester

That sounds entirely plausible.
emdub: Breaking News: Forte upset Bush got that carry, is talking to his agent as we speak.

memlarry's photoshop of Julius Peppers as the new God of War deserves a look: link (pops)

Didn't realise you're allowed to keep them that late.
crackedcactus: Lovie confused why Rams are using TO when not first quarter

Or he had money on it!
Just Dave: Glad we took the time out so they could make that kick.
crackedcactus: Lovie's a true sportsman

Next: silent black and white film, with piano music and captions.
crackedcactus: My bears feed decided to go stop motion for variety

Awfullyerudite.
Kay Paradiso: Audibalizes. Vernacular of the lexiconical age.
Beer Down!: You with your big words… and your small, difficult words…

After some meatheaded complaining from at least one of the usual suspects who only turn up to bitch and moan in game threads. Overall quality was very good, though. I can't complain.
frenchbears113: Spongie is going to have a miserable time going through this

And it wasn't even the meanest thing Allie would say all game!
Allie: i hate stockton with the fury of a thousand suns

Dislike.
JoeCB1991: Jay Vick!
tfrabotta: yuchh..
Allie: vomit

Is there a smell of cheese in the air when the wind blows the wrong way?
C-Razzle This just in: Chicago is still beautiful.
Allie: its seriously gorgeous lately. always forget how perfect chicago is in the fall until it rolls around again
ES46NE10: still too close to wisconsin for my liking. stupid geography

Poor Cleveland.
ES46NE10: [Edit: Martz] all of the other 31 teams. except cleveland, cleveland is doing a pretty good job [Edit: martzing] themselves

How far behind was lmfsilva's game feed?
lmfsilva: This stream is so behind I think I'll start seeing Power-T formations soon.

And even then, if Bradford had lined up opposite him...
Jaysky: Did webb give up the 2 sacks to long?
MidWayMonster54: The only guy Webb ain't let hit Cutty is Sam Bradford .....

... o_O
DaHamsta: Let's not get too excited. 9 minutes are still left
stepeo: I would hate to hang by the dangly bits for 9 minutes
ed_brown: I saw that in a movie once

The lad does seem to like his food, by all accounts. Or, at least, tweeting about it.
T.Moore: Release the Kracken time?
C-Razzle: No. Webb would just eat it.

I've never seen Allie be so mean, nor so apologetic.
Allie: i keep reading your screen name as “high plain DILFER”. i’m so sorry
ES46NE10: flagged for unnecessary use of the D-word
HighPlainDrifter: That is just plain... MEAN
Allie: i'm sorry! but its a total gut check when i see your name come up
HighPlainDrifter: Somewhere, both myself and Clint Eastwood are talking to empty chairs.

Burn.
crackedcactus: Borderlands is awesome. Love it. Main baddie has a horse he calls Butt Stallion
ES46NE10: I hate that guy, he's going to beat the Titans today

Our defensive line are warm and welcoming and like to socialise with opposing QBs.
crackedcactus: Group hug at Bradford's place!

What's better than an out-of-context quote regarding a boy that makes someone look like an awful human being? An out-of-context quote that makes a rival NFCN fan look like an awful human being, of course.
Robert Rence: Not only would I hit him... I’d slap him for 10 minutes straight.

No context given. Nobody dared ask, I think.
stepeo: or bondage

TWSS.
chiguy8506: why did we resign Bell
Kay Paradiso: Gotta keep the Bush fresh methinks.
Just Dave: Wow. Impressive.

Holla!
crackedcactus: How come when OLine is getting chippy Webb is getting water?
T.Moore: Because he's weak. Water is for the weak

Take that, ESPN.
memlarry: Cutler hasn't yelled at a teammate today. I think we’re starting to come together.

You know it.
MPG: I missed the first three quarters - what’s up with the offense?
memlarry: moping

The best of the fake twitter accounts...

@NotJayCutler
- Why are people still talking about Webb? I've yelled at 10 other teammates since then.
- Tony Siragusa looks like a picnic table in that shirt. A 600 pound, sweaty picnic table.
- I was told if I complain about the refs, Roger Goodell will imprison my son.

@CoachLovieSmith
- First, I watch Kellen Davis highlight reels followed by Greg Olsen reels. Then I cry. Then I listen to Olsen's rap music. Then I laugh.
- We picked up a 4th and short, y'all. I'm just gonna retire. (mic drop)
- St. Louis's O-line makes ours look like the class of the NFC.
- If Bush got hit any further in the backfield on that play he would be Chris Johnson.
- The St. Louis offense shockingly resembles the Bears 2010 offense.
- Marshall caught one!
- @seankjensen There would not have been a chance for a pass interference call if Webb didn't hold.
- For the first time, I have seen more short yardage rushing TDs from our offense than I have seen shooting stars in one season.
- WE STOPPED A QUICK SLANT! #FirstTimeForEverything
- Nice to see Carimi keeping a cool head. Also he has really improved his diving.
- We put Devin Hester in just in time to see his Braylon Edwards impression.
- Well, I'm gonna go get wasted.
- Saints defense should be accompanied by tuba music and slide whistles.
- I'm glad our game is finished. They don't pay me enough to keep working in OT.
- Honestly, I thought the NFL was going to do everything possible to make football unwatchable with advertising. Then they replaced the refs.
- After checking our division standings, I think the replacement refs got that call right. #Seahawks #Packers
- Couldn't the NFL just pay all the real refs with all of the fines they collect from the Packers players?
- Also, they should totally put a "replacement ref mode@ in Madden. It would be loads of frustrating fun.

@TheFakeESPN
- September 24th, 2012. Never Forget.

@FauxJohnMadden
- Ominous start for the Bears.. Jay Cutler was just sacked before he stepped into his car to drive to the stadium.
- Andy Dalton pick 6... full blown quarterback controversy with Mohammed Sanu is developing.
- Bills take 14 point lead on the Browns, or what is better known as an "insurmountable lead"
- The steady rain in Cleveland is actually just tears from Browns fans watching their offense at work.
- If Reggie Bush survived dating Kim Kardashian, a knee injury should be no big deal.
- Tim Tebow loses 4 yards then Mark Sanchez throws end zone interception. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2012 New York Jets!
- BREAKING: The Kansas City Chiefs are now on the clock for the 2013 NFL Draft.
- The Jets should put Mark Sanchez at corner, if anyone knows something about interceptions, it's definitely Sanchez.
- It only took Carson Palmer one play to become reacquainted with his friends in the Steelers secondary.
- BREAKING: President Obama to declare the Saints defense as a national disaster.
- Q: Who dat gonna beat dem Saints? A: The Redskins, Panthers and Chiefs.
- Joe Philbin just iced a field goal block! We've seen everything this week!
- The way the Chargers are playing, it's a good thing the game is blacked out locally.
- Demaryius Thomas still isn't quite used to a quarterback hitting him in the hands with the football.
- Unlike the Detroit Lions "Hail Mary", Peyton Manning's version of the "Hail Mary" goes 15 yards.
- I'm pretty sure Bill Belichick just took Tim Tebow's name in vain.
- Darrelle Revis to miss remainder of season after Tim Tebow's healing attempts fall short.
- It's so loud Jon Gruden's erection for Aaron Rodgers had a false start
- NFL Statement: "The result of the play stands as called; The Seahawks are going to Wrestlemania."

Good jorb, guys. Next up, we face the Cowboys on Monday Night. Be there and be awesome!