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The Best of the Week 17 Bears-Lions In-Game Threads

Jeff Backus had a serious, serious body odo(u)r problem.


Remember the season finale? So much has happened since December 30th that you'd be forgiven for forgetting that we went to Ford Field and knocked off the Lions. Going through these comments was somewhat bittersweet, knowing what would transpire three hours after our game ended, but the WCG community still managed one last hurrah.

You'll miss it when it's gone.
Kev H: Ah, phew. The first drive timeout. I was wondering.
Maelvampyre: Lovie's egg timer must have gone off

No context provided. Also, Kev wants to drink dirty dishwater.
Kev H: Why does Pitbull want me to drink dirty dishwater so badly?

You'll miss that when it's gone, too.
mac30: where's the lovie challenge?
Maelvampyre: the second egg timer has not gone off yet

After a season and a half of learning from game threads how referees only ever penalise the Bears, Kev offers a daring hypothesis.
ECD: Oh martz you refs.
Kev H: Yeah, martzing refs being tied to calling the rules as written. Jauronheads.

I like my eggs soft-boiled.
mml35: damn, least its only 3
Just Dave: Playing from behind. time to abandon the run…
Maelvampyre: No, that is dependent on a third egg timer

They would be awesome. AWESOME.
ECD: Jay Cutler is now 4-4, 135 yards, and a TD after that play. Damn…
DaHamsta: This is in the dreaded 1st quarter. Imagine his 4th quarter numbers

Imagine a game between the two!
JoeCB1991: In other news, Sanchez just threw a pick 6
Maelvampyre: that's not news. that’s a footnote
DaHamsta: I want to see Tebow. He’s at least interestingly bad.

True, dat.
crackedcactus: Eli making the Eagles look like 2009 Lions...
dsenchi: You could just say that he's making them look like the Eagles

That's why we paid da man.
boydvv54: i don't know why they keep having Forte go up the middle. at most he gets 2 yards
Kev H: Typically not. On 3rd and 2 he usually gets about 1.5.
Kay Paradiso: Which, if you're bad at math, doesn’t move the chains.
Kay Paradiso: #movedachains

Would he still be allowed on the flight home? Assuming the game was in NY. I couldn't be bothered to check.
ECD: Giants are absolutely frying the Eagles, are up 21-0 already.
jetcitybearfan: The way the Iggles are playing, they may fire Andy Reid at halftime.

Trending now...
Kay Paradiso: Who the hell missed that tackle. Slap a man.
Bear Naked: #slapdaman

So, he has big feet?
Maelvampyre: Unga needs to be in there on short yardage
Ditka's Stache: Does Unga actually exist? Has anyone actually seen him? He is like bigfoot

Cheaper than the real thing?
T.Moore: Cam Newton is a fake douchebag
Kev H: Would you prefer he be a real douchebag? I’m not really sure what the complaint is here.

Black. Two of them.
MPG: Hey hey. Let's keep it clean.

Hamsters are better at logic than most people suspect.
bassist33: I have no problem using first half TO’s as long as they prevent us from stupid penalties or bad plays.
Just Dave: I though it we saved all our 1st half time outs we got a bonus second half one.
Just Dave: I get innovative when I'm drinking.
Kay Paradiso: I'd actually like that to be a rule. Or six for the entire game.
DaHamsta: No, we would have none for the second half

Lovie must not like peppermints.
DaHamsta: They get a peppermint if they have some left at the half
Maelvampyre: and a shiny new penny

No context given. Or needed.
lmfsilva: "not nearly enough" well, that’s one way to put it.
Maelvampyre: TWSS

Context most definitely needed!
bassist33: Nikki Minaj needs to disappear.
LostInSTL: Where exactly are you gonna hide an ass that large?...
Kay Paradiso: I have a box.
torch: twss. oh, wait…
Just Dave: Oh SNAP!
Kay Paradiso: I want to finish that thought off. I have a box she'd fit in... that my fridge came in. But I got distracted and pressed post.

This advertisement is brought to you by...
LostInSTL: Mikel lacks good vision… his downfall…
Maelvampyre: one word: Lasik

Following a bad screen pass to Marshall that left #15 limping...
Kev H: If that doesn't turn out to be a setup play I will do my best to try and drive to Chicago and slap Mike Tice in the face.
dsenchi: You mean Detroit?
Kev H: Chicago is closer to me. I was just going to wait until they got back to town.

Who wants Mael to commentate on Bears games?
BEARSFAN19: Forte exploded thru that hole
Maelvampyre: Indeed! Like a bout of colitis!

I feel sorry for the donkey.
bassist33: Let's go Packers!! Ugh, I feel dirty…
dsenchi: It's ok its for a noble cause
bassist33: I still feel like I just woke up in a hotel room with a fat Wisconsin prostitute. and a donkey

Stafford fumble, Stafford interception...
brunokm: TIM JENNIGS
C-Razzle: You forgot a very, very essential "N" in that name.
brunokm: Had to type in a hurry before Stafford turns the ball over again

Well, when you put it like that...
Robert Rence: Stafford apparently believes in Christmas. Because he’s gift-wrapping this game.
Just Dave: Now will your team please lay down?
Robert Rence: Root for my team to lose to the Packers? I’d rather root for NASA to be completely dismantled.
Kay Paradiso: Do you work for NASA?
Robert Rence: No. But I wish I did.
Kev H: So you could lose your job?

You know, I thought it was a much more amicable game thread than expected...
suckmyditka: where's all the dilf talking Lion fans from last year??
Kev H: Uhm, I think I banned them all.

Left in original format.
men that Seahawks lost
damn it
we could be riding into postseason
with ease right now
Kev H: This feels like a failed haiku attempt

Because ECD makes a hundred predictions and forgets the 99 that don't happen.
ECD: This looks like a playoff team beating on a dilfy team. I’m happy, and optimistic today.
Just Dave: Don't put the cart in front of the horse...

ed_brown: so I asked my son to pick up a 12 pack of imported beer, and he brings me Corona but no lime to kill the taste.
mml35: punish him!
bnbfishin: Cut him from the will.
FtWayneSoxFan: To be fair, he's only 8.

Not really a "best of" moment, but you do realise this is equivalent to someone naming a drink a 9/11 Twin Tower, right?
chiguy8506: i only use Guinness for irish carbombs

Just Dave was wobbling from side to side and backwards, only not as much.
David in Maine: Go Cutty Go!
dicksingletary: Cutler moving better than Hester!
Just Dave: I'm moving better than Hester and I'm half lit up.

You jest, sir.
Kev H: The "letting them play" is also transferring to the lines. I’m seeing a lot of holding that isn’t being called against both teams.

C-Razzle: Who rewinded the clocks back to 2008?
boydvv54: whoever decided that rewinded was a word.

I've never understood the whole "name your son after yourself" thing that Americans do, either.
Ditka's Stache: Why do all of the Lions players feel the need to add SR. to their jerseys?
Kev H: Because the biggest legacy they'll ever have is the fact that they were able to get some lady(ies) pregnant.

They'd never expect it!
lmfsilva: Martz it. Go for broke, KD post route

Seemed that way at times, didn't it?
dicksingletary: is cutler trying to get Bmarsh 2000 yards too?

Midway Bully: Marshall has such great movement. it gives me that funny feeling
Just Dave: In your pants?
boydvv54: it's the best kind
DaHamsta: He isn't wearing pants anymore
Just Dave: NEITHER AM I!!!!
Midway Bully: Are you in my closet?

That'll do it.
suckmyditka: how the martz is that H2H
Kev H: It's the part where their helmets touched each other.

No idea.
mml35: I feel like I should be expecting the rulers soon. Catholic school flashback nightmare.

A quick, last look at fake twitter accounts...

- Ndonkeykong Suh better not kick me in the nuts.
- If Adrian Peterson is "All Day" then my nickname should be "5 Minutes, Sober".
- No clue who should be the next Bears coach. Maybe a chick with big boobs.

- Offensive penalties on their half of the field? That's so unlike us!
- Earl Bennett sighting!!!! (Everyone saw him except the Lions' secondary.)
- Phew! Almost didn't waste that timeout in time.
- Another turnover! Nice! Now let's see how we can turn this into 3.
- Detroit fails to stop Forte on the goal-line... This is why you have 4 wins, guys.
- Stafford figured out how he could get off the field fastest.
- Really nice how we've kept Detroit in the game despite their awful first half of football. This is our season, folks.
- Kellen Davis goes from zero to still zero on that missed catch.
- Marshall losing his shoe is possibly us losing our season. #SadRealities
- We just Detroit Lion'd ourselves.
- Who's ready for a heartbreaking last second Detroit field goal?
- May be my last chance to call a timeout.

They've been pretty good since that game, too:
- I challenged Emery's decision, but after review it appears I lost.
- Seriously though, it's been real Chicago. Thanks for all the support. Especially the excess support when we're in the red zone.
- It's crazy how fast your facial hair grows once you've been fired. By tomorrow I'll look like Marvin Gaye.
- Leave 2006 out if this, Dungee! Haven't I suffered enough?!
- Well, what we all learned this weekend is the best 10-6 NFC team didn't make the playoffs. Also, I'm still fired.
- If Nick Saban changes his mind and returns to the NFL, can I take over Alabama? Already got my slow, southern drawl down.
- Philly! Make ready your finest cheesesteak! And don't worry, I am totally used to being booed during home games. Everybody wins!
- I will consider any defensive coordinator job that pays over $5 million. Otherwise I will just coordinate some Cheetos into my mouth.
- Figures I am flying to San Diego the one January when it's warmer in Chicago. Not a good start, San Diego. Not a good start.
- What gives, San Diego!? I made it to a Super Bowl with Rex Grossman. REX. GROSSMAN.
- This new coach guy seems like an emotional roller coaster. Are you sure you are ready for a 3rd or possibly 4th facial expression, Chicago?

So, that was the season that was. Expect a round-up of the Best of the Best of the season at some point.