So much has happened with our Bears since the end of the season that revisiting the game threads from last season seems like a strange, half-forgotten dream. The staples of last year's games - Lovie's random timeouts and use of the challenge flag, Tice's strange offense, Kellen Davis, J-Webb - now all gone. Read on for one last hurrah.
N.B. Click on the links to visit each original "Best of" post.
awfullyquiet: He looks like chad kroeger.
T.J. Shouse: I don't know who that's a bigger insult to
UrsusMaritimus: Roses are red / Violets are blue / I have a knife / Get in the van
DaHamsta: Why not go for it, it's not like the points matter
Digs D-League: Punt coverage needs preseason snaps too
badsamaritan: They've had the entire first half.
Maelvampyre: time to let the air out of wanda
Just Dave: And that is EXACTLY how every open thread should end.
Steven Schweickert: MICHAEL BUSH TOUCHDOWN TOUCHDOWN BEARS PRESEASON OLHASIFHJASKLHFKLASSKLFHJ
T.J. Shouse: RIP Steven, who had an anyerism after a Bears preseason TD
Steven Schweickert: *aneurysm
T.J. Shouse: Hey he's back
Spongie: As a zombie
runningman: Grammar zombie
frenchbears113: It's amusing how homoerotic we all really are
T.J. Shouse: And its only preseason!
T.J. Shouse: Wait, did we just call a TO with the clocked stopped?
crackedcactus: Lovie tried but the official wouldn't accept it.
CloudyFuture: How come that e trade baby never ages…..
T.J. Shouse: Every few months they kill the old one and bring in a new one.
Chitownproduct: And now I can die in peace after seeing Cutler to Marshall in a Bears Uni.
T.J. Shouse: really? seems a bit extreme, but ok, I'll get the gun
Bears-Cubs Bulls: listened to the 1st half on the radio and it sounded wretched. Any positives?
LostInSTL: Lovie didn't lose any challenges
Bears-Cubs Bulls: excellent
DaHamsta: Xavier Adibi
whoyouthoughtiwas: you fall on the keyboard or something?
T.Moore: jersey shore cancelled… all is right with the world
Jack's Elsewhere: We have "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" (pic)
David in Maine: Ugggghhhh My eyes!!!!
ThorCo: what the hell is that
ES46NE10: time has not been kind to you, matthew stafford
ThorCo: you has tweeter? you follow me? I tell jokes
Ditkavsworld: No you don't.
T.J. Shouse: Yes he does. 'member the one about Nickelback being good? Hilarious.
Game 1: Colts, W 41-21
@FauxJohnMadden: The Bears open their season with a tribute to Mike Martz by allowing Jay Cutler to be sacked on the first play.
CurtisEnisFan: Maybe we just needed to get that one out of our system. And by "that one" I mean poor Kick Off Return coverage, false start, sack, and incompletion.
mac30: where is forte?
Just Dave: Holding out for a second half contract
CurtisEnisFan: Just a specimen.
bassist33: Now? Here? I usually need some type of video or magazine to help me with that.
Game 2: at Packers, L 10–23
Llation: Lovie's new mantra: We get off the bus.
dicksingletary: jwebb's face looks like The Rock taking a dump
@NotJayCutler: I won't apologize for my behavior Thursday night, but I will remind everyone that Jason Campbell is the alternative.
@CoachLovieSmith: I wish that fake field goal play was 2 men so that Ray Lewis could double murder it.
iowaBear: Can we invite psycho Lions fans in here just so we can watch Kev take out the BANHAMMER!?
Kev H: Do you hate me? Do you know how much work that actually becomes?
Game 3: Rams, W 23-6
LostInSTL: David catches a pass!!!... We’re going to the Super Bowl…. woooohooooo
LostInSTL: or Davis...
frenchbears113: He hasn't earned the right to be called by his actual name
Kay Paradiso: Webb got bulled something awful.
ES46NE10: Webb is something awful
Kay Paradiso: Insofar as Webb. He’ll get beaten inside sometimes, especially by fast guys who can swim over him (which isn’t the easiest thing if you’re small, Quinn isn’t small).
frenchbears113: How do you explain the constant mental lapses?
Kay Paradiso: That is the constant mental lapse.
lmfsilva: This stream is so behind I think I'll start seeing Power-T formations soon.
Game 4: at Cowboys, W 34–18
(Matt Forte limped off after his first carry of the game.)
tfrabotta: Oh God Matt I missed you...
Ditka's Stache: You'll miss him some more now
T.J. Shouse: Jezzus, go out for a smoke and come back to a Hester TD? What dimension is this?
ES46NE10: go out for another smoke. like nine of them
7:51 PM PDT Dane Noble: 4TH QUARTER OPEN THREAD, jump
8:07 PM PDT Bear Naked: oh my gawd i think dez ate a little to much buttered corn-on-the-cob before the game
8:10 PM PDT Bear Naked: oh mah gawwddd dat secondary…
8:13 PM PDT Bear Naked: oh mah gawwwdddd am i alone in this thread or what.. :’(
8:15 PM PDT Bear Naked: oh mah gawdddddd kellen davis feels like playing today
8:18 PM PDT Bear Naked: oh crap this is the thread for the 3rd quarter…
8:21 PM PDT mikej000: Fade To Black
@CoachLovieSmith: I think Peanut might have more catches this year than Kellen Davis. #MNF
Cutler6fan8: Picked by Moore!!!!!
David in Maine: DJ Moore gets a pick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
crackedcactus: Damn you Spoilers! Dallas hasn't run the play yet!
Game 5: at Jaguars, W 41–3
DaHamsta: Izzy held
Just Dave: Isn't that your fondest dream?
tfrabotta: I'm not sure what is gonig on with Carimi and his pass blocking but I am officially "Chris Williams " concerned.
DaHamsta: Complete dominance. Can we just skip the first half of games?
Brendan Hess: The offense already does. Zing!
Game 6: Lions, W 13-7
torch: Am I the only one who stands for every Devin return?
T.J. Shouse: I would but I'd drop my beer and my pants
AngryGiant: You wear pants?
T.J. Shouse: no. They sit in my lap. I put my beer on them.
crackedcactus: Paea eats Stafford. Now he needs to learn to strip
suckmyditka: no thanks
bassist33: I'm in!
GtM: if brandon marshalk were a woman.... I would make love to him
T.J. Shouse: What if you were just really drunk?
MidWayMonster54: Thats all it would take for me .......
suckmyditka: he's very attractive
Dr. Handsome, D.D.S.: Ha! As if Jay would let you hit dat!
Bullforlife: POUND THE BUSH! POUND THE BUSH! POUND THE [MARTZING] BUSH!
bassist33: I hope you weren't yelling that out loud while typing it.
Bullforlife: I was and woke up my neighbors I think...
bassist33: Welp, looks like you're moving again.
JoeCB1991: Pick 6 would be nice
Bear Naked: I could use a pick 482918583939384848838929292999999999999999
T.J. Shouse: Seizure? Nap? Cat?
Game 7: at Panthers, W 23–22
DaHamsta: Slinkies are intimate objects, they do not have emotions
northernsails: inanimate, you mean?
David in Maine: Hey, what you do behind closed doors is your business....
DaHamsta: Not anymore
crackedcactus: Damn You LAUNDRY! You made me miss a Bears TD. I gonna [martzing] bleach you up now.
crackedcactus: I'm celebrating from the middle of a pumpkin patch.
crackedcactus: I have udder faith that Romo will [martz] it up somehow. It’s funny cause I’m being stared at by cows. They must hate pumpkins.
Game 8: at Titans, W 51–20
Larry Mayer: J'Marcus Webb gets flagged for illegal hands to the face against Kamerion Wimbley in the end zone, costing the Bears a safety. I could make a joke about the Bears offense finally producing some points, but Mike Tice is much bigger than me so I won't. The Bears still lead 7-2.
Bullforlife: I wonder what it would take to get Cook on a trade.
Just Dave: Time travel. The trade deadline passed
Bear Naked: cannot wait for black [Edit: roosters] 2
Just Dave: Woah. What?
B.B.BH: WOah Woah more info then i needed
bassist33: You might be interested in the Hester package.
Bear Naked: black ops 2. sorry myb
Bears-Cubs Bulls: auto text on a cell phone? What are you doing in your downtime bro? Those things learn from past usage…..
TheMan1: I'm going to let my kid dress up like Tillman for trick or treat next year:
Kid: Go to the door.
Homeowner: Aw its Tillman
Kid: Punch the candybowl out of their hand.
Homeowner: Da Bears
Game 9: Texas, L 6–13
Comment From Hunter: How is the o line going to stop jj watt
Larry Mayer: Hopefully they'll get the security guard who wanded me like his life depended on it. Watt won't get close to Jay Cutler if that's the case.
DutchBear: Jay [martzing] Cutler does not slide...EVER
DutchBear: Which I actually like but might not be the best thing for him
Bear Naked: its like a dirty fetish that you love, but arent proud of
suckmyditka: I really don't like Hines Ward
Just Dave: He doesn't like you either
Robert Rence: He's got the death sentence in twelve systems!
Maelvampyre: Perhaps running the ball should be explored
crackedcactus: They tried. Twice.
Maelvampyre: Yep, twice is a good solid effort.
BearNecessities: Coming away with a loss tonight would be such a waste of this defense
T.J. Shouse: pfft, we’ve been doing that for years!
Game 10: 49ers, L 7–32
Dils: Just think... 5 years ago we would have killed for a QB as good as Jason Campbell. Sad but probably true.
T.J. Shouse: no, its definitely true
C-Razzle: We still want John St. Clair.
Dane Noble: #Banned.
Bear Naked: lovie smith time out right about now
David in Maine: Before the game starts? Interesting strategy!
T.J. Shouse: Aldon Smith sacked our left tackle and our quarterback. He should get 2 for that.
crackedcactus: So. I just jumped to 2nd Q. How bad?
Bear Naked: i want my mommy. I WANT MY MOMMY
crackedcactus: So....anyone got jokes?
75bearsfan: Yes... 1) Bears offense 2) Bears defense 3) Bears coaching
crackedcactus: Do they all walk into a bar?
ECD: Don't look now but we’ve got Jared Allen next week. Fantastic.
Maelvampyre: Webb's got his number
Robert Rence: 3.5 from last year, right?
Game 11: Vikings, W 28-10
Ditka's Stache: That was a Hester type run after catch
Allie: i know, right?
BigGeorgeTX: Too bad it was the wrong direction.
Allie: hence what makes it hester-esque
Mirabelle: There is enough ugly at this game with all the mustaches. No need to show Clay Matthews face too. That’s got to be a violation of FCC rules.
ThorCo: I have norwegian relatives that have troll dolls that look exactly like him
Game 12: Seahawks, L 17-23 (OT)
bassist33: Evidently Conte has the flu. Steltz out there last series
badsamaritan: Did Lynch give it to him? Even his germs move fast.
Dane Noble: 3RD QUARTER OPEN THREAD IS UP. GO FIND IT
Allie: link or didn't happen
DaHamsta: We demand Peppermints for finding this link
@CoachLovieSmith: We really need someone who can catch out there..... Anybody?! Keep it down, Kellen Davis, I can't hear myself think.
Game 13: at Vikings, L 14–21
Bear Naked: jeezus. i would NOT like to be tony siragusa's shirt right now. he looked like he was gonna have a heat stroke.
@CoachLovieSmith: Pretty sure every player on our roster touched AP on that play. Which is an XBox Live achievement.
@CoachLovieSmith: Stupid Vikings tackled Hester before he took 8 yards off that return.
Larry Mayer: Other than the great view from the press box, this place is a dump!
Game 14: at Packers, L 13–21
T.J. Shouse: It'd be only fair that when Rodgers retires he morphs into the fat Packers fan from the State Farm commercials.
DaHamsta: Made the late jump
Beer Down!: we were having our extended 3rd quarter thread...
DaHamsta: Half way into the 4th quarter
Game 15: at Cardinals, W 28–13
haslone: So who's our next OC? After Tice is fired…
ES46NE10: norv turner. Turner II: Terrible Offense Boogaloo
ES46NE10: why is this still the 3rd quarter
ECD: Because we have 1:54 left in the 3rd quarter. That’s why.
ES46NE10: blast. accursed chronometry
mml35: The old lady is making meatloaf again....:/
mml35: I see a few nights on the couch over the multiple cook books bought for her this Christmas
Game 16: at Lions, W 26–24
Kev H: Ah, phew. The first drive timeout. I was wondering.
Maelvampyre: Lovie's egg timer must have gone off
Kay Paradiso: Who the hell missed that tackle. Slap a man.
Bear Naked: #slapdaman
bassist33: Nikki Minaj needs to disappear.
LostInSTL: Where exactly are you gonna hide an ass that large?...
Kay Paradiso: I have a box.
torch: twss. oh, wait…
Just Dave: Oh SNAP!
Kay Paradiso: I want to finish that thought off. I have a box she'd fit in... that my fridge came in. But I got distracted and pressed post.
bassist33: Let's go Packers!! Ugh, I feel dirty…
dsenchi: It's ok its for a noble cause
bassist33: I still feel like I just woke up in a hotel room with a fat Wisconsin prostitute. and a donkey
suckmyditka: how the [martz] is that H2H
Kev H: It's the part where their helmets touched each other.
@CoachLovieSmith: It's been real Chicago. Thanks for all the support. Especially the excess support when we're in the red zone.
That's my final Best Of as it will not be returning in an official capacity, maybe one of you (Dave?) has time to spare and would like to put something together each week as a fanpost.
Looking ahead, the real games kick off with the visit of the Bengals on Sunday. Woohoo!
More from Windy City Gridiron:
- Chicago Bears Fantasy Football: Start 'Em and Sit 'Em versus the Bengals
- Julius Peppers restructures contract, $2 million in cap space created
- Pleased to Meet You: Week 1, Cincinnati Bengals
- The Bears Den: September 04, 2013 - Week 1 news and notes
- Chicago Bears cut Offensive Tackle Jonathan Scott; re-sign Tight End Kyle Adams