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You can buy some weird Chicago Bears stuff on Etsy

Etsy. For when you want to get someone's weird homemade stuff.

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Not pictured: he also has Bear sleeves.
Not pictured: he also has Bear sleeves.
Jonathan Daniel

If you've ever been to Etsy, you know that it's a place that you can buy people's homemade or vintage items.  Also, if you've ever been to Etsy, you know there is some strange stuff there. As of press time, there are 104 pages of Chicago Bears items. 4,366 tagged item listings.  I looked at all of them because I like you guys quite a bit.

Fans are dedicated. It's short for fanatics after all.  But some of these items are crazy. Let's check out some of the weirdest below.  If you are interested, click the links to get to the items.

Vintage 1994 Chicago Bears Bizarre Super Hero T-Shirt NFL Salem Unique Large - $35.00

This is...odd. In a way, I sort of vaguely remember this t-shirt, but at the same time...I find it hard to believe anyone bought enough of them for this one to still be remaining.

Marilyn Monroe Chicago Bears White Jersey Hard Case for iPhone 4/4s - $9.95

Finally, for the person who has never been able to merge their football allegiance with their love of 50's starlets.  This is actually also available in black.  Also, I'd find new and ingenious ways to mock you if I came across you actually using this.

8x10 Print of English Bulldog wearing a Chicago Bears Hat - $20.00

People apparently really, really love putting English bulldogs in hats.  A quick google search for "English Bulldogs wearing hats" garnered 375,000 results.

Custom Chicago Bears Moccasins - $60.00

Y'know, for when you just want to relax, and don't want to wear your dress moccasins anymore.

Chicago Bears NFL Crochet Winter Owl Hat - Baby, Child, Adult - $14.00+

Note to creators of homemade NFL themed animal hats.  If the name of the team just happens to be an animal,TRY NOT TO USE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ANIMAL.

Chicago Bears Fabric Hand Sanitizer Cozy/Holder/Dispenser for Cold/Flu Season OR Dog Poop Holder/Cozy/Dispenser (HD-12) - $5.00

This trailblazing entrepreneur realized that there are two vastly different markets that could use this.  Better yet, buy two so you have something to clean your hands with after you pick up that poop.

ChiCago BEars stuffed owl orange and navy football Bears fan collectible - $20.00

Another owl?  What the hell? This poor guy's eyes beg out to have mercy granted.

Wine Cork Christmas Chicago Bears inspired ornament/bottle tag NFL team gift - $3.00


To start, this kind of looks like a pig.  Also, it looks like it is made of dried poop.

Chicago Bears Baby Hat - $25.00

By the time you actually read this, this will have wormed its way into my nightmares.  It has been nice knowing you.


And finally, for my personal favorite:

INSTANT DOWNLOAD - Buy 2 Get 1 FREE - Digital Necktie and Bow Tie - Chicago Bears Colors - Dark Navy, orange and White 24 Printable Images - $3.00

This is...I can't...I don't even...I can't...

For your $3.00 you will receive 24 separate images files of neck/bowties in vaguely Chicago Bears colors, for your personal or small commercial use. Heck of a deal, in case you've been looking for comically sized digital ties for your artistic endeavors.

What kind of weird stuff have you guys seen in the world?  Link it up in the comments below!