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WCG Watchability Index Week 6: What games should you get behind?

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You'll see what I did with that headline in a few moments.

This guy is a damn hero
This guy is a damn hero
Mitch Stringer-USA TODAY Sports

Oh football. You never fail to disappoint.

Most times you watch a football game, you see these jabronis who always think inside the box. They throw the ball with their hands. They catch the ball with their hands. They kick the ball with their feet. Lather, rinse, repeat.

But sometimes, someone will rise to the challenge and take the game to another level.

In 2012, embattled New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez felt the need for something different. In a big, nationally televised match against the division rival New England Patriots, Sanchez knew he needed to make a special play. Scratch that, he knew WE needed him to make a special play.

That play was the butt fumble.

Thought to be the ultimate butt-related football play, it has for years stood the test as the gold standard of ways to be terrible in football while basing your play around the human rear end. Many thought that we were unlikely to see another noteworthy instance.

Then, when all seemed lost, the Browns (giggle) gave us the ultimate example of how to positively use your hind quarters to play football in their overtime win vs the Ravens. (Also, Josh McCown set a Browns record for passing, so...yeah.)

AND LO, WE WERE BEQUEATHED THE BUTTCATCH.

In case you're not familiar, you'll see gifs of each below. In the interest of not loading the same 2 animated gifs a total of 14 times, this week I've put each under a header.  The scale is of course, as follows:

Buttcatch: These games are legit. They are a thing you would want to happen.

Buttfumble: Oh. No no no. This is not good. You don't want this.

Let's dive in, shall we?

This week's games

Buttcatches


Thursday, 7:25pm CST
Away Atlanta Falcons Why is this game a buttcatch? Because it will involve the Saints losing, which is always a fun thing for me. It's been a fun thing for me ever since that time the Bears ruined their lives in the playoffs and Reggie Bush taunted while down late.
Home New Orleans Saints

Sunday, 12:00pm CST
Away Chicago Bears

I tried this last week, and it didn't work, completely. The Bears won, but not by 10+ points. So I'm doing it again.

Bears by 10+ points.

Home Detroit Lions

Sunday, 12:00pm CST
Away Cincinnati Bengals
I just feel like Rexy Ryan's got something in store for the Bengals, and maybe knock them off that high horse they're riding around on just because they're undefeated.

The combined record of of Cincinnati's defeated opponents is 8-17. Let's not give them their parade quite yet.
Away Buffalo Bills

Sunday, 12:00pm CST
Away Houston Texans Here me out on this one. So this is the deal. Bill O'Brien, who looks sort of like if you crossed Billy Zane with Kevin Costner, is going to take his dumpster team to battle another dumpster team. Barring a tie, one of them will end up 1-5. My money is that Houston plays two different quarterbacks, loses, and then starts a tackling dummy next week.
Home Jacksonville Jaguars

Sunday, 3:25pm CST
Away Carolina Panthers I don't think Seattle is as bad as we've seen, though I'm not convinced they're great. They should right their ship this weekend while handling Carolina their first defeat. if this game was in Carolina, it would absolutely be theirs to lose.
Home Seattle Seahawks

Sunday, 7:30pm CST
Away New England Patriots

Really this is a buttcatch primarily because it will be the only game on at this point.

Honest question, though. It looks like Luck is going to start. If he comes out and throws another 2 or 3 interceptions, do you have to consider benching him and putting Hasselbeck in? Would Pagano do that?

Home Indianapolis Colts

Monday, 7:30pm CST
Away New York Giants Divisional matchups can be compelling. Or, in this case, we'll see who can screw up as little as possible.
Home Philadelphia Eagles

Buttfumbles


Sunday, 12:00pm CST
Away Denver Broncos Ugh. Bad Peyton vs. Bad Browns. Don't expect a McCown repeat. I'd imagine you're probably looking at 180 yards, 2 picks, and 5 sacks from Josh because that's how Josh do.
Home Cleveland Browns

Sunday, 12:00pm CST
Away Kansas City Chiefs I don't want to, thanks. Also, Minnesota will win because I don't think Travis Kelce can catch every 6 yard pass Smith throws and do enough to win.
Home Minnesota Vikings

Sunday, 12:00pm CST
Away Washington There was a debate in some comments about whether Washington was garbage. I can confirm, they are. Jets will win, and nobody will care except maybe Showtime.
Home New York Jets

Sunday, 12:00pm CST
Away Arizona Cardinals Arizona wins this game. Prewritten conclusions are boring, they're the vastly superior team. (This is me trying to jinx them.)
Home Pittsburgh Steelers

Sunday, 12:00pm CST
Away Miami Dolphins The Dolphins have new coaches. Well, sorta. Anyways, they're not going anywhere this year, so why not pregame for the NLCS? (Or just watch the Bears.)
Home Tennessee Titans

Sunday, 3:25pm CST
Away San Diego Chargers San Diego will be in the game for about a quarter and a half, and then they'll make a mistake and have to punt one time and then spend the rest of the game 2 touchdowns behind.
Home Green Bay Packers

Sunday, 3:25pm CST
Away Baltimore Ravens If Marc Trestman calls a screen pass, and San Francisco sorta defends it, does anyone care?
Home San Francisco 49ers

What games do you want to watch? Probably the Chicago Cubs. That's fair.