WCG Watchability Index: 2015 Week 5 - One full weekend of UGH

Indianapolis is bad right now. As of this writing, Hasselbeck was still expected to start, and Houston is bad also. They will theoretically start someone at quarterback, and that person is guaranteed to be bad, too.

Oh, and I always try to get a cheap shot about Bill O'Brien in. Bill O'Brien seems like the guy at the college bar who clearly shouldn't be at the college bar, but he gets drunk and then hits on the girls while winking and telling stories about how much he used to party.

Washington sits at 2-2. Atlanta at 4-0. Matt Ryan will end up quarterbacking the Falcons to a reasonable 5-0 because he has Julio Jones and Washington only has broken dreams and the scorn of a significant segment of the country.

Baltimore will do enough things to lose this game, yet they will win because the Browns will out-Browns Baltimore and invent another unique way to lose a football game.

A lot of people (well, at least the one article I saw) are pegging this as Cincinnati's first loss, but I don't see it. Seattle often doesn't travel well, and the Bengals offense is rolling right now. Bengals stay undefeated this weekend.

Bears win by 10+ points.

St. Louis' offense can't run with the Packers offense, but I think their D can frustrate the Packers a little bit. Also, I think that Rodgers will get sacked several times, and this is typically a very enjoyable thing to watch.

Each of these teams has one win, and honestly I wouldn't even be surprised if they came out of it 1-3-1. That said, I'd skip it and watch the Bears game. If that's not an option, I'd watch a different game. if this is your only option, I'd maybe take the three hours for some quiet reflection on why you live in a place that would force this game on you.

Oh, snap, I take it back. If you're watching this game, you either live in the absolute wrong part of the country or you're actively engaged in a campaign to make yourself hate football.

As I write this, my mind is becoming numb, because of this 3rd in a terrible series of matchups. These teams suck. This game will suck. Rex Ryan will Rex Ryan something with the offense and after blitzing 30 times the Bills will lose because they couldn't figure out how to flummox a rookie quarterback.

I gave this a Transformers, because I think it will be dull. However, it could deal with a Ferris because watching the Lions lose is usually pretty fun. However, the national game is New England at Dallas so you're probably not even going to be seeing this anyways.

This should be a fun game, despite the fact that New England will win by 3 touchdowns, because while they're easy to hate, they usually execute football like they're made of Norse demi-gods.

I like Oakland, and I think they'll generate some pressure on the Broncos. Not sure if they can withstand the Broncos fast defense, but it should at least be enjoyable.

Two bad teams doing bad things while Cris Collinsworth raves about Odell Beckham, Jr. for 3 hours, because any wide receiver is automatically awesome and any bad plays on their part are the result of Eli Manning (even if their quarterback isn't Eli Manning)

Pittsburgh will win this game, because that's how San Diego does their business.