clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

WCG Watchability Index Week 9: Officiating The Madness

New, comments

This week we'll be using the Triplette system of game ranking. It's fair use, so feel free to use it to rate anything you'd like in life, whether it be what eating 30 pancakes is like, or how bad the AFC South is.

Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

Above you will see a picture of Jeff Triplette.  He is generally considered to be the worst NFL referee.

Don't just trust my opinion, though.  A google search provides about 15,600 results for "Jeff Triplette Worst Referee"

USA Today: "NFL referee Jeff Triplette *still* doesn't know the rules of football"

Pro Football Talk: "Referee Jeff Triplette having a hard time remembering the rules"

Doug Farrar - 3 FRICKING YEARS AGO: "Jeff Triplette continues to amaze by calling bizarre false starts on Philip Rivers"

I'm not even kidding you right now, Jeff Triplette's real-life job is "restructuring consultant."  I can only imagine that every single one of his clients self-immolated shortly after receiving his help.

That aside, he seems the absolute best measure we could use to rank how bad this week's games are.  Here's the scale.

Triplette System

Where you do something incorrectly, then you change it but it's still incorrect, and then you hope to god that someone doesn't point out how badly you messed it up.

tiny trip
A solitary Triplette indicates that your game is, inherently, pretty watchable. Unless upon review it isn't.
tiny trip
tiny trip
Two Triplettes indicates a league-average game. Inherently, these are pretty unwatchable anymore. Mostly because of the involvement of Triplette.
tiny trip
tiny trip
tiny trip
A three Triplette game is a real stinker. Kinda like that time he effed up the whole fair catch signal on that Seahawks/Rams onside kick.


If you're part of a game that's got more than three Triplettes, quite honestly, you should maybe consider folding your franchise and going home forever. Let's go.

This Week's Games

Cleveland at Cincinnati (Straight up, it took me three tries to spell that just now)

Thursday Night Football - 7:25 PM CST - NFL Network

Rating:
3 Triplettes

Is there any version of this game that doesn't end in Cincinnati playing down to Cleveland's level, but then ultimately pulling out the win? Also, Johnny Manziel is starting in this game, so expect one broken down play where he does something well and an awful lot of balls badly thrown to the sidelines.

Miami at Buffalo

Sunday, 12pm CST

Rating:
3 Triplettes

The Dolphins largely righted the ship after canning (get it, like tuna, eh whatever) head coach Joe Philbin. They then, of course, ran into a really legitimate team in New England and floundered. (Fish puns) Do they get back to the winning way against Buffalo? And does that even count? It does if you don't want to live on the sea floor of the AFC East.

Also, the Bills are some real offensive pieces away from doing some damage. You just wait and see.

Green Bay at Carolina

Sunday, 12pm CST

Rating:
1 Triplette

The Packers met a legitimate defense last week, and got trounced by the Broncos.  

The Packers meet a legitimate defense this week, and get trounced by the Panthers? Let's hope so. May animal themed teams become the bane of their existence soon.

St. Louis at Minnesota

Sunday, 12pm CST

Rating:
2 Triplettes

Minnesota is the hottest 5-2 team going that nobody cares about. If this were a 90s teen comedy they're the girl who wears glasses and flannel and ponytails and nobody thinks is hot, but then she transforms for the big dance but it turns out she actually was the girl nobody liked and then the popular girl Packers win the crown and she goes home dejected. 

It's a story I've seen a thousand times.

Washington at New England

Sunday, 12pm CST

Rating:
2 Triplettes

Mark my words, the Patriots are gearing up to put on a damned clinic. If they don't win this game by at least three touchdowns I will be very surprised.

Also, if you like your language not safe at all for work (NSAAFW), then I highly suggest you see how they're trying to preserve their trademark.

Tennessee at New Orleans

Sunday, 12pm CST

Rating:
2 Triplettes

Last week Drew Brees dug deep within himself and threw for 1,000,000 touchdowns against the New York Giants. The Saints will effectively find a way to ride that to a 23-16 win this weekend.

The Titans fire Whisenhunt. He won a bunch of games with Kurt Warner approximately 20 years ago and then gave up on winning. Which is cool, there's probably a college job for him somewhere.

Jacksonville at New York Jets

Sunday, 12pm CST

Rating:
5 Triplettes

The football gods are really testing our patience with this one.

Jacksonville, continual champions of suck, goes to the Jets, who've dropped their last two but are secretly in a playoff race, except you wouldn't know it by watching the team because they are not very good.

Oakland at Pittsburgh

Sunday, 12pm CST

Rating:
1 Triplette

Pittsburgh is usually a tough opponent, against most odds, and the Raiders are turning into a franchise who sorta knows what they're doing. This might have some enjoyable passing.

Atlanta at San Francisco

Sunday, 3:05pm CST

Rating:
3 Triplettes

The Falcons, I think, are a good team.

The 49ers are, without a doubt, NOT a good team.

Look for this game to feature at least 4 combined turnovers.  Oh, wait, did I mention that BLAINE GABBERT is going to start?   

Scratch what I said before. Look for this game to feature at least 6 combined turnovers.

New York Giants at Tampa Bay

Sunday, 12pm CST

Rating: 
6 Triplettes

Remember when Eli Manning threw for 6 touchdowns against the Saints?

Neither will he, because the Buccaneers will win this game behind a thoroughly pedestrian performance by Winston.

Denver at Indianapolis

Sunday, 3:25pm CST

Rating: 
3 Triplettes

The Broncos defense may actually murder Andrew Luck this weekend. We could legitimately see a quarterback ripped in half, y'all.

Peyton Manning will also throw for, oh, I dunno, let's say 280 yards and 3 TDs, but have at least one dumb pick.

Philadelphia at Dallas

Sunday, 7:30pm CST

Rating: 
4 Triplettes

I got nothing. This should be full of bad football, so if that's how you get your jollies, well, I tell you, Collinsworth has a lot to say about how the Cowboys need Romo.

Chicago at San Diego

Monday, 7:30pm CST

Rating: 
1 Triplette

It gets 1 Triplette because it's a Bears game, but it's adjusted Triplette score should really probably be about a 9. Also, keep an eye out for me, because I think the offensive line depth chart has me right behind Omahmeh or however it's spelled.

Bad week, man. Bad week. Let's just hold each other and whisper that it'll be ok.