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WCG Watchability Index: 2015 Week 1

This year we're bringing you something new - we're going to tell you which games are the most and least watchable.

So I'm not playing this week?
So I'm not playing this week?
Mike DiNovo-USA TODAY Sports

There's a lot of football, starting tonight.  Over the next five days, there will be sixteen professional football games occurring.  Some of them will be good. Many will be bad. We're most interested in helping you out.  Is a game going to be a dumpster fire? Are you about to watch two bottom seed teams play each other?

That's where the new WCG watchability index comes in. We'll take a look at every game happening every week, tell you what's up, and rank them. But we're not going to rank them in just anyway. We'll have different indicators of quality each week.  This is silly, let's just dive in, shall we?


This week we're going to utilize what I'm calling the "Smiley Brady/Scary Brady" system.  This is how it works.

Smiley Brady Scary Brady
Smiley Brady denotes an enjoyable and interesting game. Scary Brady denotes a game that will make you question life.

If a game is expected to be particularly good, or particularly terrible, multiple faces come into play. Does this all make sense? Ok, good. Let's get to it.


Pittsburgh at New England

Thursday, 7:30PM CST

As is tradition, the Super Bowl winners open up at home against another team. This year's opening matchup features two teams that are easily hate-worthy, and with all the extra smugness that comes with teams that have won a lot of championships. Still, this is the first game of the season and the only one on. Professional football hasn't been on our TV in a real capacity for months, so we'll all eat it up like bacon.

Indianapolis at Buffalo
Sunday, 12:00PM CST
Rex Ryan makes his Buffalo debut against the concrete-loving Andrew Luck and the Colts.  I see no particular reason this game should be competitive, unless Tyrod Taylor is the QB lightning in a bottle that eluded Ryan in New York for so long.  Also, it shouldn't really matter anyways, because you should be watching the next game.

Green Bay at Chicago
Sunday, 12:00PM CST

John Fox, Adam Gase, and Vic Fangio inherit a certifiable disaster, and their debut as the leaders of the Chicago Bears is to go up against the Packers. Aaron Rodgers doesn't have a Jordy Nelson, but he still has all those other pieces. I predicted a big Bears loss in the "How to Watch" thread, but now I'm drinking kool-aid and hoping the Bears can surprise. Either way, this gets 34 Smiley Bradys, because I've been waiting for this game since January.

Seattle at Saint Louis
Sunday, 12:00PM CST
Seattle makes the 4,000 mile round trip to play their west coast compatriots. The Rams traded for Nick Foles, and then gave him money before he's ever played for them because I think Jeff Fisher maybe secretly hates himself. Seattle is still one of the best teams in the NFC until they're not, and the Rams have a defense, so this could be mildly interesting. It shouldn't matter, though, because you should watch the Bears game.

Cleveland at New York Jets
Sunday, 12:00PM CST
I...I got nothing. I would avoid this one and just watch the Bears game.

Miami at Washington
Sunday, 12:00PM CST

Washington is the biggest tire fire, as Ufford told us earlier this week. Miami signed Ndamakong Suh in the offseason, presumably for the job of hurting Tom Brady. But can he get to Kirk Cousins first?

Miami is probably pretty bummed that Brady gets to play at the beginning of the season, but they've got enough young talent to make this sort of interesting. I'm going to give it one of each because some good might develop for Miami but Washington will probably be a disaster. 

Also, it shouldn't matter because you should be watching the Bears game.

Carolina at Jacksonville
Sunday, 12:00PM CST
One team won the division with a losing record last year. The other team has like, pools in their stadium or whatever. Check your guys fantasy stats and just watch the Bears game.

Kansas City at Houston
Sunday, 12:00PM CST
Alex Smith, who was unable to throw a touchdown to a wide receiver last year, now had Jeremy Maclin and Travis Kelce. One or both of them should inevitably develop a nagging leg injury, and they will continue to hand the ball off religiously.

Hey, did you guys watch Hard Knocks? Man, that Bill O'Brien seems like a lot of fun. I imagine playing for him is like playing for that loudmouth uncle who drinks like 15 Busch Lights at your 6-year old cousin's birthday party. That said, they have a defensive line that can tee off. I hope Smith makes it out of this game. 

But y'know, Bears game is on.

New Orleans at Arizona
Sunday, 3:05PM CST
Hey, watch this game to scout Arizona, because they come to Chicago in Week 2 to take on the Bears. Will Carson Palmer suffer his season-ending injury in this game, or will he wait until a little bit later on? Also, Drew Brees will be expected to carry New Orleans to an 8-8 division winner because why not, right?

Detroit at San Diego
Sunday, 3:05PM CST
The Bears and Lions are more alike than I'd care to admit. Detroit will win this game, i'm telling you right now. That won't be fun. I'm going to give it both because this cancels out.

Baltimore at Denver
Sunday, 3:25PM CST
How will the Broncos fare with Kubiak at the helm? I actually like watching these two teams play, so this should turn out. Plus, have you seen the other games at this time?  Barf.

Cincinnati at Oakland
Sunday, 3:25PM CST
Andy Dalton begins another season of being just good enough to not really win anything, while Oakland tries to figure out how to make sure Amari Cooper touches the ball on any play, before they wear him out and try to resurrect Jerry Rice before realizing he's not dead.

Tennessee at Tampa Bay
Sunday, 3:25PM CST
New York Giants at Dallas
Sunday, 7:30PM CST
Always entertaining games between these two, and we get the SNF crew for the second time in one week. The Cowboys let Murray go, despite him being one of their main reasons for sucess last season. Will also be interesting to see if Dez Bryant has learned how to catch.

Philadelphia at Atlanta
Monday, 6:10PM CST
What the hell has Chip Kelly been up to?  Let's find out.
Minnesota at San Francisco
Monday, 9:20PM CST
This is the game you watch because you want to pretend like football will go on forever. I have no doubt that the Vikings will win this game somehow, and there is a very real possibility that every team in the NFC North gets a win this week except the Bears.

Disagree with these game opinions?  Which are you most looking forward to watching?  Let us know!