Five Things to Smile About Today (And Then Maybe Cry Over)

Good morning, Shea McClellin! You’re tied for 23rd in combined tackles among linebackers in the NFL, and there’s, ahem, no way you could post that number being out of position all the time. Maybe you're not Mike Mamula II: The Mike Mamulaing after all. It’s too early to declare McClellin a reclaimed draft pick, but it’s not too early to start speculating that he’s one of the 3-4 backers we need. Maybe.

The bad news, of course, is that a converted tweener DE is the team’s leading tackler among the linebacking corps, and that Jarvis Jenkins is leading the Bears’ linemen in tackles (that’s bad), and that you, as you enjoy your Monday, are tied with Ego Ferguson for solo tackles.

We played turnover-free football! 44% of the variation in a team’s winning percentage can be explained by their turnover differential. Clausen was given the right throws to make (when his number was called), and despite a poor performance in making those throws, he avoided turning the ball over - particularly noteworthy against a defense as ball-hawkish as Seattle's.

The bad news, of course, is that since we had zero interceptions and fumbles recovered combined, the turnover differential was zero, a figure that bowls on Thursday nights with our scoring production, apparently.

Pass defense on tight ends! Through three games, the Bears are the eleventh-best team in the league defending tight ends. (Sadly, we’re right in the middle of the pack defending wide receivers, with 459 receiving yards surrendered, along with a horrific seven receiving touchdowns)

The bad news is that the Packers don’t like tight ends, we’re not sure the Cardinals know they have one, and we don't genuinely look like we can defend top TEs, since the Seahawks picked yesterday to stop treating Graham like Cameron's dad's Ferrari.

Clausen did not throw a pick, or get crushed into dust by the Legion of Boom, or carried away by an actual sea hawk.

The bad news, of course, is that Clausen averaged 3.7 yards per attempt, which basically makes him a taller, goofier-looking Darren McFadden. No, seriously.

That likely installs Clausen in some kind of failed completion Hall of Fame, I’m sure. (If you’re not familiar with failed completions, you should get to know them as a Bears fan; they explain much of why our receiving corps doesn’t actually positively impact game outcomes when they catch balls. Oh, and Football Outsiders led its stat explanation for FCs with the Six trade from Denver, so, there’s that to weep about this morning).

Probably, Clausen should just go back to twerking the closest D-lineman when the rush develops. That’s got to be good for an extra second of decision-making time in the pocket. Maybe more.

Good news! We’re not paying O’Donnell by the punt. Pat might regret not installing some escalators in his contract, like an extra hundred grand if he punts more than 400 times this season. You know, so he can get a new leg. He might want something like this.

Bad news: our punter accounted for more yards yesterday than the Bears have rushed for in three games combined. At this rate, O’Donnell’s leg probably comes flying off and into the stands sometime during the Chargers game.  They’ll probably start hauling up the field goal nets anytime he punts after week seven. Nobody wants to see that on TV. Nobody.