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The Chicago Bears are a Clown Show

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Lollapalooza 2006 - Day 2 Photo by Roger Kisby/Getty Images

OxfordDictionaries.com defines clowns as ‘foolish or incompetent people.’

UrbanDictionary.com lists their top definition for clown show as “when people are really screwing up an activity that should be fairly straight forward.”

I honestly can’t think of a better way to describe the Chicago Bears.

The one win Bears will take on the NFC North leading Minnesota Vikings tonight on ESPN’s Monday Night Football it what will no doubt turn into a bash-fest of Chicago’s entire franchise. The ESPN analysts will make the Bears look like a punch-line every chance they get and with no postseason appearances since 2010, they have every right to do so.

They’ve been on a national stage three times already this year, losing by 15 on Monday Night Football on the 2nd week of the season, followed by a 14 point loss on Sunday Night Football the next week. They lost by 16 last week on Thursday night Football, and now tonight they get to finish their prime time slate against an angry Viking team coming off their 1st loss of the season.

Even if the Bears somehow find a way to win, the Bears have become a national joke.

How many Chicago Bears does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

Six.

One consultant hired to tell them how bad the current regime is at screwing in the light-bulb. A regime that was hired, if you remember correctly, because the last football-consultant-for-hire advised them to do so.

One chairman to represent a clueless ownership that presides over one incompetent employee after the other, as they try and find someone that can screw in the light-bulb correctly.

One team president to do... nothing apparently.

One general manager to stand idly by as someone tells him what to do.

One head coach to look stoic and old school, while trying to figure out how someone can screw in the light-bulb.

One pseudo-injured quarterback to stand on the sideline, unwanted, until he’s needed to screw in the light-bulb because the guy the head coach really wants to screw in the light-bulb broke his arm.

It’s exhausting being a fan of the Chicago Bears.

A franchise that was founded in 1920 as the Decatur Staleys, that won their first championship the following year as the Chicago Staleys, a franchise with more wins than any other, ranked first in Pro Football Hall Of Famers, a franchise with the 2nd most league Championships (9), can’t figure out how to stay relevant in the National Football League.

The last 30 years has been one misstep after the other by a franchise that should be one of the league’s standard bearers.

Only one Super Bowl win since 1985 is a travesty.

Mock press conferences, free agency failures, unchecked boxes, draft day trades agreed to then backed out of, first round busts, fractured locker rooms, Soldier Field no-shows, and entitled coaches that talk down to the media and fans are what the Bears are now.

Every few years there seems to be a new embarrassing story that comes out of Chicago.

It’s pathetic to the point of being comical. The Bears play in the 3rd largest market in the United States, with a devoted and large fan-base. They should be perennial playoff contenders not a team with only 8 winning seasons since Mike Ditka’s last year as head coach in 1992, a span of 24 years.

I have no idea if Chairman George McCaskey or Team President Ted Phillips are doing their jobs correctly. All I know is the Bears have 38 wins and 49 loses since McCaskey took over in 2011 (with no playoff appearances) and since Phillips took over in 1999, they are 136-143 (with 4 postseason berths).

Rumors circulated that general manager Ryan Pace was told to hire John Fox as his head coach because they didn’t want an inexperienced GM and an inexperienced head coach at the same time.

I don’t know if that was the consultants idea, the Chairman's or the President’s, but I do know that if you hire a guy to do a job, you let him do his damn job.

Maybe instead of hiring consultant after consultant, they should hire an actual football guy (that has had NFL success) to serve as the Team President in charge of football operations that can oversee everything football related that happens.

Since Super Bowl XX, the Bears are barely a .500 team with 246 wins and 240 loses.

What they’ve been doing isn’t working, so it’s time to do something different.

It’s sad that being mediocre is the norm for the Chicago Bears, but maybe this “new” brain trust can figure things out this time. Either that, or you know, like I previously stated, let Ryan Pace do his job as GM and run the show his way.