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Windy City Fan Fiction: Prelude

In lieu of making up news in the slow off-season month of July, I will be making up a fantastic fictional story involving everyone’s favorite Bears players

NFL: Chicago Bears-Minicamp Matt Marton-USA TODAY Sports

Olivia caressed her hand back and forth slowly across Mike’s sculpted, hairless chest.

“I love how smooth your body is,” she said.

Glennon took a deep puff of his post-coital Cubano cigar. “I told you, babe. I gotta shave it for work.”

“Aaron never shaved his chest.”

Glennon rolled his eyes. How many times can one man be compared to an opposing quarterback in a single year? “I don’t know what to say, babe,” he said. “I’m QB1. I can’t have my hair causing unnecessary friction when I pull back for my release.”

Ms. Munn rolled over and faced away from QB1. She put both hands underneath the pillow, and Mike had learned this meant feelings were getting heavy. He took another puff of his cigar, trying to extend his brief moment of relaxation. Sunday’s championship game had been brutal, and he didn’t know how much emotional processing he could handle.

“Sometimes I wonder,” she began. “I wonder if you were only interested in me because I was dating him. You guys are so competitive. Was I just one more thing you were competing for?”

Mike exhaled a long smoky sigh. “Not the case, babe.” That was all the conversation he could muster. He wanted to ask if Olivia was only interested in him because he was an elite NFL quarterback, but some thoughts are better left unsaid.

Were he and Rodgers competitive? At this point, Glennon wasn’t sure himself. Just last spring he had been intimidated and star-struck by the superstar gunslinger atop his new division. But just last weekend, he had humiliated Rodgers in the NFC championship game. At this point, QB1 didn’t see Aaron Rodgers as a competitor as much as an outdated afterthought. A one-time great who deserved to be humored because of his past accomplishments but whose relevance was fading faster than the paint job on Trubisky’s ‘97 Camry.

Olivia turned back around, her wide-open pupils staring adoringly at her alpha mate. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I just don’t know how to enjoy something good when it comes my way. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Glennon leaned in and slayed Olivia with a brutally masculine smooch. While she closed her eyes to savor the moment, Mike slipped out of bed and walked to the floor-to-ceiling window.

MG8 stood naked gazing out over the Windy City like Jay Cutler staring at the Caribbean Sea. He’d never thought of himself as a guy who would have a babe on the side. But a lot can happen in an MVP season. Fame. Lights. Glamour. High fashion sponsorships. Gaggles of cheerleaders, models, and celebrities had thrown themselves at the Bears’ savior, but only Ms. Munn had the gritty confidence and devilish charm to draw him in to a tumultuous affair. The fact that Rodgers hadn’t been man enough for her never factored in.

Glennon’s moment of reflection was abruptly interrupted. A bright LED screen read the words “Mere Bear” and his ringtone blasted Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame—the Glee cast’s rendition of the Bon Jovi classic. Mike picked up the phone and answered with the single deft motion one would expect of an elite athlete.

“Go for MG8.”

“QB1,” Cameron Meredith began in an uncharacteristically shaky voice. “Staley’s missing. It looks like there was a struggle.”

To be continued…