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We need a duo-nickname for Jordan Howard and Tarik Cohen

The WCG staff has been tossing around ideas for a duo-nickname for our two terrific RBs. Vote now!

By Jack Silverstein
Pittsburgh Steelers v Chicago Bears Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Jordan Howard is The Bulldozer.

Tarik Cohen is The Joystick, or Chicken Salad.

Together, they are... ?

That’s the question the WCG staff and several readers tried to answer on Twitter yesterday. I’ll run through our choices, and we can vote and debate at the bottom of the post.

Though Patti Curl dubbed them “Jo Ho” and “Coh Coh” in a column last week, this specific discussion started in a WCG staff email thread, with Robert suggesting “Rumble Pak” for Howard, to play off of Cohen’s “Joystick” nickname. The “Rumble Pak” was the Nintendo 64 controller that would vibrate when video game characters collided.

This suggestion elicited rave reviews in the email thread, and our mission was, seemingly, finished.

Then I tweeted this GIF:

When reader Zachary Lekfield responded, “That’s why we call him Big Chicken Joystick Salad Daddy,” I noted that that was too many names, and said that WCG was following Rob’s lead and calling the duo Joystick and Rumble Pak, or Rumble Pak and The Joystick.

My lone issue with this nickname is that we’re naming the veteran Howard “Rumble Pak” after the already-established nickname “Joystick” for a rookie, leading me to explore variations on “Bulldozer” for Cohen.

Lekfield then pitched “Thunder and Lightning,” a nickname that Cohen and other Bears mentioned. I pointed out that the nickname was played out, referencing Tiki Barber and Ron Dayne on the 2000 Giants, but Lester alerted us to an NFL.com article that shows the nickname going back to the 1970s.

Now we were off and running, with the nicknames flying around. Easily the most creative came from Johnathan Wood, who suggested a pair of Greek gods who are also video game foes...

...followed by a pair of superheroes:

Readers seemed split on the Kratos/Hermes idea, with responses ranging from positive...

...to negative...

...to pragmatic:

Lester noted that Howard and Cohen reminded him of the dogs in a 1988 commercial for Kibbles N Bits:

From there, I opened it up to our first vote...

...though I unfortunately misspelled “Kratos” as “Krotos,” which would come back to bite me later.

While this was happening, I also asked if we should change “Superman” for Howard to “Hulk,” which triggered a whole debate about possible superhero nicknames. Johnathan liked for the two single-syllable names (Hulk/Flash), though he also suggested “The Thing” for Howard and “The Human Torch” for Cohen.

There was discussion about whether we should stay all Marvel or all DC, and Andrew stayed all Marvel with his idea:

Lekfield offered “Batman & Robin,” and then Kev offered a slew of suggestions:

From that tweet, “Smash and Dash” had staying power, leading to support for the nickname along with more rhyming-single-syllable-nickname suggestions, like “Stick and Move,” “Bolt and Jolt,” and Kev’s follow-up of “Dine and Dish,” “since Howard feasts and Cohen runs away.”

Tweeter Matt M. suggested “Timon and Pumbaa,” which didn’t catch on, nor did @wibearsfan_’s “Shake and Bake” (though I applaud his description). @DitkaGetsIt added “Sonic and Tails,” which our friend Laurence Holmes of The Score nodded to too:

Gregg Mathison and Armchair Deion independely suggested that Jordan Howard is actually Knuckles, not Sonic, and we heard “Bebop and Rocksteady” from “Rad Tad Hajek.”

But I think the biggest challenger to Rumble Pak and Joystick came from our own editor-in-chief Lester:

Rob supported that suggestion...

...though he also expressed dissatisfaction in the ongoing debate:

That led to a tangential Arrested Development GIF-off, along with a moment of wondering how Benny Cunningham would feel about being left out of the nickname planning.

Lester then went on CLTV SportsFeed and pitched “Dual-Shock,” which the hosts seemed to like, so I suspect we’re looking at a showdown between “Dual-Shock” and “Rumble Pak and Joystick,” with “Kratos and Hermes” sadly pulling up the rear.

The debate continues even as I type this, meaning it’s time to vote. Pitch in on the poll and debate in the comments. Let’s get these guys a nickname!

Poll

What is the best duo nickname for Jordan Howard and Tarik Cohen? (originator in parenthesis)

This poll is closed

  • 3%
    Bolt and Jolt (@MikeDBears34)
    (20 votes)
  • 0%
    Bulldozer and Excavator (Jack)
    (0 votes)
  • 1%
    Chicken Salad and... (Honestly, we’re not sure what this would be for Howard)
    (6 votes)
  • 7%
    Dual-Shock (Lester)
    (41 votes)
  • 3%
    Jo Ho and Coh Coh (Patti)
    (18 votes)
  • 8%
    Kibbles N Bits (Lester)
    (45 votes)
  • 3%
    Kratos and Hermes (Johnathan Wood)
    (19 votes)
  • 18%
    Rumble Pak and Joystick (Robert)
    (103 votes)
  • 3%
    Shake and Bake (@wibearsfan_)
    (22 votes)
  • 31%
    Smash and Dash (Kev)
    (176 votes)
  • 0%
    Sonic and Tails (@DitkaGetsIt)
    (4 votes)
  • 1%
    Knuckles and Tails (Gregg Mathison and Armchair Deion)
    (7 votes)
  • 10%
    Thunder and Lightning (several people)
    (60 votes)
  • 0%
    Some comic book nickname (see below for options)
    (5 votes)
  • 5%
    Other
    (30 votes)
556 votes total Vote Now

Poll

What is the best comic book nickname for Jordan Howard?

This poll is closed

  • 5%
    Batman
    (20 votes)
  • 43%
    Hulk
    (150 votes)
  • 6%
    Superman
    (22 votes)
  • 17%
    The Thing
    (60 votes)
  • 18%
    Wolverine
    (63 votes)
  • 9%
    Other
    (32 votes)
347 votes total Vote Now

Poll

What is the best comic book nickname for Tarik Cohen?

This poll is closed

  • 68%
    Flash
    (240 votes)
  • 17%
    The Human Torch
    (63 votes)
  • 1%
    Robin
    (7 votes)
  • 4%
    Spider-man
    (15 votes)
  • 7%
    Other
    (27 votes)
352 votes total Vote Now

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