Glennon or Trubisky: What really matters?

These days you can’t get through a minute of tweets, a day of blog posts, or a handful of comments without reading something about Mike Glennon’s shortcomings or an argument about why Mitchell Trubisky should or should not be starting. Most comments misguidedly limit their analysis to football performance, missing some of the most important differences between these two unique and well-rounded individuals.

At Windy City Gridiron we go beyond the obvious and dig deeper into what really matters in a Franchise-leading QB1.

Height

Many people know that Mike Glennon is 6’6” and Mitchell Trubisky is 6’2”. Some have pointed out that this may help Glennon see over the line or release the ball from a higher point. Those people are missing the most important difference: Mike Glennon’s legs are too tall for him to sit comfortably on an airplane, leading to a discomfort-related disadvantage at any away game.

Point: Trubisky

Width

Glennon is skinny while Trubisky is more of an average width. Glennon’s skinny width should help him avoid being sacked, since there is less to grab on to.

Point: Glennon

Depth

The deepest thing Mitchell Trubisky has said: “Who wants to get sacked? Not me.”

The deepest thing Mike Glennon has said: “That’s definitely a tough one to swallow. To not finish that drive at the end.”

Glennon’s quote inspires a lot of sympathy in me. Possibly because, as a fan, that (final drive against the Falcons) was also difficult to swallow.

Point: Glennon

Boxers or Briefs?

Glennon - Briefs.

Trubisky - Boxer-briefs

Point: Glennon. Trubisky is disqualified for failing to choose.

Best Car

Trubisky - Grandma’s Camry

Glennon - According to my fan fiction series, Glennon drives a Bears-orange Cadillac CTS-V super sport wagon.

Point: Glennon for driving the fastest grocery grabber ever made.

Best Karaoke Song

Trubisky - Despacito. It’s impressive how smoothly Mitchell switches between the vocal styles of Beiber, Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee, but his Spanish accent isn’t perfect, and it seems out-of-place when a corn-fed white boy from Ohio claims “this is how we do it down in Puerto Rico.”

Glennon - Who let the dogs out. Anyone who wonders what people are referring to when the discuss MG8’s leadership needs to see him sing this song, naturally switching out the word “dogs” for “bears.” You will be pumped!

Point: Glennon

Who wore it best: Bears’ Helmet

Erich Schlegel-USA TODAY Sports

Trick question. Nobody can wear it well when there isn’t a Bear anywhere on the helmet. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this is the biggest missed opportunity in the world of professional sports.

Point: neither

College Mascot

Glennon’s NC State Wolfpack was not only an animal but multiple animals working in unison. Trubisky’s Tar Heels are just humans who stepped in something sticky. This is a no brainer.

Point: Glennon

I hope this article clarifies the subtle differences that many simpleton pundits do not take the time to investigate. When you look at the point totals (Glennon 6 to Trubisky’s 1) it becomes more clear why the Bears’ coaching staff have been reluctant to bench the jack-of-all-trades MG8 for the football-talented but otherwise lacking young rookie.