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Bears devour Colts with multiple defensive touchdowns in “dress rehearsal” third preseason game winning 27 to 17

Chuck Pagano unleashes his new voracious defense on former team and there was “neigh” they could do about it.

Chicago Bears v Indianapolis Colts Photo by Bobby Ellis/Getty Images

It seems like an eternity since the hullabaloo about Matt Nagy sitting the starters for last preseason’s week 3 “dress rehearsal.” The Colts didn’t play their starters either. It’s pretty much become the cool thing to do. Don’t be surprised if you see a handful of teams bringing in 9 kickers to compete after next year’s draft.

The one problem with starters not playing in the preseason is that I’m very likely to run out of things to write about by next week. This team just has too few question marks on the roster.

Has there ever been a better looking 58 yard field goal?

Straight. Down the middle. Room to spare. My new plan is to get an Eddie Piniero neck tattoo so large that the “r” is big enough to completely cover my regrettable Elliot Fry neck tag. I have no doubt the Bears decided to go for it on 4th and 17 at the 39 yard line because they didn’t want to force Piniero to make a second high pressure 55+ yard field goal attempt, and I support that move. Going 1 for 2 from 55+ would be fine, but it would be unfairly be seen as a failure and I for one am glad the Bears saved Piniero from that potential fate.

Same old Studs

It’s not surprising that Deon Bush and Roy Robertson-Harris were the two biggest playmakers on the defense.

Did Jonathan Bullard pop his roster bubble?

Former third-round pick Bullard continues to underimpress this preseason. Tonight, he earned an offsides penalty and failed to bring down Chad Kelley despite getting an arm around him. That play resulted in Kelley embarrassing Chicago with a 20ish yard scramble.

Big Bears never disappoint

Defensive linemen Nick Williams and Abdullah Anderson both registered sacks in this game. The Bears depth on the line looks better than the depth at outside linebacker. This isn’t surprising. Larger bears tend to be superior to smaller bears. This is why the Bears will always be superior to the Cubs.

Two weeks; two James Vaughters forced fumbles

This guy is a breath of fresh air after watching Kylie Fitts for two preseasons. He certainly has his share of unfortunate plays—one where he didn’t notice a ball carrier that literally ran into his back—but the highlights are shiny and I’m enjoying them.

Chad Kelley peppered the Bears with decisive bullets

Kid looks pretty good. Could prove to be a poor-man’s Chase Daniel.

Cornelius Lucas continues to prove height ain’t nothing but a number

The 6’9” left tackle gave up a number of pressures today including a CD4 sack from Kemoko Turay. His lowlight of the day was immediately falling to the ground at the first sign of pressure in a late 2nd quarter play that was eventually called back for offensive PI. At least his height made him a longer obstacle while he was on the ground.

And the rest of the back up offensive line...

Franky disappointing. Over the last two weeks, they’ve made it difficult to evaluate the rest of the offense. I’m seriously missing Eric Kush and Bryan Witzmann right now.

Ian Bunting continues to make plays and penalties

Good bear. He clearly understands that if he doesn’t make the penalties, he might not clear waivers to get on the Bears practice squad. He knows there’s no other team worth playing for.

Special Teams play was passable

Which is a marked improvement. Go Bears!

The Colts have quietly recreated the Chiefs’ 2016 backfield

Maybe I’m late to the party, but tonight is the first time I’ve noticed that genius executive Chris Ballard has managed to capture the lightning in a bottle of Spencer Ware and Charcandrick West. The two carried the Chiefs’ running game through the glorious valley between the fall of Jamaal Charles and rise of Kareem Hunt. Look closely Bears fans, this is what an Executive of the Year looks like. And don’t try to correct me in the comments that I’m getting confused by Aca’Cedric Ware. Spencer’s on the Colts too. I’m not confused: you’re confused.

Just as Kerrith Whyte Jr. starts to solidify his lead over over Ryan Nall...

Nall takes over the Bears’ final drive of the first half, literally carrying the Bears to field goal range with a 69 yard run. I know what you’re thinking “69, isn’t that Rashaad Coward’s number?” Yes, it is. Nall also looked great as he smoshed his way into the end zone on a Colt-dragging 6 yard run that was called back due to a holding penalty.

Middle linebackers making plays

Fan favorite-turned-fan punching bag Nick Kwiatkowski showed up today with a sack, a tackle for loss, and he started the strip that led to Deon Bush’s touchdown. Joel Iyiegbuniwe snuck in for a sack of his own and scooped up Vaughters’ forced fumble for a touchdown.

People will tell you preseason wins don’t matter. That of course, excludes the 3rd preseason game, which historically has been a better predictor of regular season success than the other preseason games. It’s extra sweet that Chuck Pagano’s defense was the unit that sealed the win against his former employer. Turns out they couldn’t beat him.