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Windy City Gridiron picks Bears-Lions

A Thanksgiving feast between two of the NFL’s worst. Who is anyone kidding? You’re watching anyway!

Chicago Bears v Detroit Lions Photo by Leon Halip/Getty Images

My goodness.

If there were ever a worse time for a professional football organization to focus on an actual game, it would be the current mess the Bears have gotten themselves stuck in (entirely created on all of their own merits).

But a few days after losing to an undrafted free agent quarterback making his first career start with seemingly half his team roaming the sideline in sweatpants and beanies, the Bears are set to fire their coach right after Thanksgiving. And they seem as determined as ever to air out quite literally all their dirty laundry for the entire NFL to see and point and laugh at their stains. Or not. Wait, maybe they still are? Oh, the coach had his hand forced by the owner to play the young quarterback? I wonder who leaked that information. Well, maybe it wouldn’t be so ludicrous for him to demand a trade after all if you think about it.

Nope, he is still not getting fired or put out of his very obvious misery to spend time with his family during the holiday season, while the Bears can start moving past their countless self-inflicted wounds and stop making headlines for, at least, a few days. Because of tradition and collaboration, everyone has to squirm and wince in discomfort as much as possible. It can’t be done any other way.

Today’s game will see noted job-saver slash steady veteran slash Plan Executor Andy Dalton start against noted bridge slash fellow last resort, a.k.a. Jared Goff. The Bears and Lions have a combined three victories. They are both in serious danger of not winning another matchup the rest of the year, save for this holiday bout. It will undoubtedly be a terrible football game by every stretch of a Bears’ and Lions’ fan’s limited imagination for what good football can even resemble. Rightfully, still, none of the focus will be on the field's action (in the loosest definition of the word “action”).

I, of course, look forward to watching every last second of the game. That includes pre-game festivities and the hokey Turkey MVP ceremonies. This is because I don’t expect to head out escape to Thanksgiving dinner until the early afternoon, and whatever, I’ll put it on the TV. But more importantly, I am being held hostage by the bumbling Bears and an obscenely wealthy clan that should probably, finally sell their professional football team toy to one of modern human civilization’s various obscenely wealthy megalomaniacs. At the same time, they go on and pursue other non-football hobbies. Until such a reality manifests, I am to cater to their every embarrassing whim, without mercy and without remorse. In case you were wondering, blinking once is indeed a subtle code. It means I’m in crisis.

This is not a cry for help, but it’s also not not a cry for help. *Blinks*

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, everyone!

Windy City Gridiron picks Bears-Lions and every other NFL game in Week 12.

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