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Bears come back at the last minute to triumph over ferocious cat-beasts in possibly career-saving statement Thanksgiving win

The Bears were probably going to win this game, and they barely did. Hurray! Enjoy your Turkey,

Chicago Bears v Detroit Lions
To the victor goes the spoils.

There wasn’t much good or bad that could come from this game for the Bears, barring a career-ending injury to a young player. The Lions, on the other hand, had the opportunity to be the first winless team in a 17 game season on the balance. To be honest, I was making pumpkin pies for the majority of this game, so you won’t see as many opinions as usual. The most valuable thing I can tell you to day is the recipe on the back of the Libby’s pumpkin pie can is perfect so don’t try to mess with it.

Nobody expects the same play three times in a row

The Lions started their first drive—after the Bears naturally gave them a free 1st and 5—with three passes to Deandre Swift in the right flat. The third earned them a first down. Some might kill the Bears for not having this route covered on the third time, but I think it’s wise. It’s like when you walk into a field with a pole in a lightning storm and you get struck by lightning. It hurts, but you know you’re safe standing in the same spot holding that pole at the same height because lightning’s not going to strike twice in the same place.

Say what you want about that first Lions touchdown

But sometimes elite players just rise tot he occasion. Few teams would be able to stop Josh Reynolds and Jared Goff when they get in rhythm.

If you’re going to get an illegal shift penalty

The perfect time to do it is when you have no gain on second down. The other team will likely decline the penalty and you get away with it. This is an underappreciated nuance of the Matt Nagy offense that will truly be missed by the most savvy of offense-minded fans.

Ok wait, “the accepted penalty from the hold takes away the first touch spot”

When the Lions punted from their end zone in the first quarter, the ball hit a Lion on the back of the head, then proceeded to bounce 30 more yards down the field. Presumably, the ball was dead at the point it hit the Lions player, and the Bears would have it at that spot. Then a holding penalty was called (return teams hold on almost every kick so this is a dumb penalty anyway because it’s extremely inconsistently enforced) and the spot is changed to where the ball bounced to with the above explanation. I don’t know if I’m more annoyed if this was a mistake or if it’s actually the rule. How does a penalty affect the fact that the ball is dead once a Lion touches it? Why would you have a rule that chances whether a ball is live or not based on something that happens on the other side of the field that players would have no way to know about. That’s absurd.

When the Ginger Prince fired a dart to Jimmy Graham on a beautiful seam route, Bears fans all thought the same thing in unison

Best 19 million ever spent.

Robert Quinn and Trevis Gipson combine for the play of the game

Both pass rushers were held and both got to Goff in quick order. As Quinn sacked the Lions Franchise Savior, Gipson deftly ripped the ball from his powerless paws and recovered the strip sack himself. Even Nagy got in on the fun by correctly challenging the ruling on the field. We should all be thankful for this moment of Bears at their best!

Cole Kmet is starting to round into form

There young Bear continues to be a more reliable part of a haphazard passing game. I’ll take it.

Lions doing their best to make the Bears look like a disciplined team

The loveable lions managed to penalty their way into two 3rd and 32s, then later Campbell put Nagy’s game-management embarrassments to shame by calling two back to back time outs at the end of the 4th to give the Bears a much-appreciated free 5 yards at 3rd and 9.

Just when everybody doubted him and Matt Nagy’s job seemed on the line, he pulled out a masterpiece against a division rival. I think it’s safe to say that if his seat was hot before this game, it’s now been dosed with ice water and slathered with Preparation H.