Lions exploit Bears weaknesses in a game that gets embearrassing fast

The Bears have maintained a delicate streak of losing despite impressive quarterback play for the last eight games. The Lions have maintained a delicate streak of relevance longer into the season than they have since the Jim Caldwell era. Something could break today...

Update: the only thing breaking is my once-hopeful Bear-loving heart.

Justin Fields is ready to rumble

On the first drive, Fields ran directly into defenders two plays in a row, the second time dragging Aiden Hutchinson for about 4 of his 5 yards. It’s fun to watch, and I get it. I’d want to will this team to victory too if I was him. But it scares me and it’s definitely not worth risking injuries, especially when the Bears are out of the playoffs.

Cole Kmet, touchdown monster

I always knew he had it in him. After two touchdowns in his first two seasons, Cole has now brought in 5 in 2022. Add those to the 12 I expect from future Bear Darnell Henderson, and we should be approaching 20 TDs from the position in 2023. Not bad!

Josh Blackwell vs Amon-Ra St. Brown should be a good matchup to watch

Blackwell has been a top 2 undrafted rookie cornerback for the Bears this season, and Amon-Ra has been a top two St. Brown brother since entering the league. Amon-Ra got the best of Blackwell on an early first down, but we’ll have to see how this develops.

Justin Fields might just break this rushing record

And possibly today. Our healthily-haunched hero ran for over 100 yards in the Bears first two drives. The Lions remedial rushing defense and the lack of healthy Bears receivers might just be the perfect recipe for history to be made. It would feel a little more legitimate if he did it in the first 16 games.

Update: Fields appears to have gotten a little sore after I wrote this, didn’t run for the next two quarters, and the Bears offense spiraled into historic levels of futility.

Justin Fields might just break this getting-sacked record

The Bears line has been particularly porous this afternoon, and that’s before Teven Jenkins went down with another injury.

Kyler Gordon continues to get noticed

As the Bears secondary rotates through injured starters, Gordon has been conistently on the field and making flash plays the past few weeks. He just made a tackle short of the sticks in the red zone to save a 1st and goal situation and force a field goal. I’m giving the Lions an 83% chance of scoring if that 1st down is made, so that tackle was worth 83% of the 4 point difference, which makes 3.32 points, more than Cairo Santos has ever made on a field goal.

VJJ revival tour continues

Once disparaged rookie receiver and returner Velus Jones Jr. is putting a nice little game together for a second week in a row, including a good game on his classing jet sweep play and a return to the 44 yard line at the end of the second to set up a...nevermind.

Bears ball-dropping tour continues

Both Cole Kmet and Dante Pettis have earned themselves drive ending drops early in the third quarter. I anticipate there may be at least one more Bear joining them by game’s end! In Kmet’s defense, It was basically a catch but he probably shouldn’t have landed ball-first.

You can’t make mistakes when you’re down 21 points

That’s a time to step up and start playing perfectly. Who is coaching these Bears? Did they not explain this?

Speaking of Bears coaches, do you really need to keep cutting to Alan Williams?

Have some mercy on the man. The Fox broadcast seems to be cutting to the Bears defensive coordinator multiple times on every excruciatingly easy Lions offensive drive.

Does it count as a silver lining?

If the Bears help the Lions keep the Packers out of the playoffs? It does, right? It has to. I need something.

You can’t make mistakes when you’re down 31 points

According to the announcers, this is the perfect time to decide if Justin Fields is your guy moving forward. This offensive line needs to help him, please.

I hope the Bears at least get a ridiculous trade-back draft haul for this low pick they’re getting. Because no one player is worth watching them get humiliated by Honolulu blue kitties.

Except Justin Fields, of course. But we already have him.